Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Mother's Little Helper Xtreme!

"I can definitely say without a doubt that I am addicted to caffeine," says Sarah Kripal, mother of two from Lincoln, Nebraska. "I need about four energy drinks, three cups of coffee and a six pack of soda every day."
She then grabbed her mountain bike, checked the straps fastening the toddler to her back, and leapt head-first out of the plane, shouting "Red Bull gives you wiiiings!!!" as she deployed her drogue chute.

Speaking of which, my coffee mug's empty and my Diet Dew is dry. I'm heading to the kitchen. At a brisk trot.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Not a mom, but I drink between half a pot and a pot of coffee a day. I don't drink soda and only drink tea (unsweet) a couple times a week.

As I get older, I find I need/want that first cup of coffee to get going in the morning. Ten years ago, while I still would have had it, I didn't *need* it like I do now.

And I don't need RedBull to tow my 4yo in a trailer around the local mtb trails...on a singlespeed mtb. :D

Chris

OA said...

Christ, once people get to a certain point more potent amphetamines would be cheaper, and just as hard on the heart.

Holly said...

I read the original article and immediately asked my sister to pick up a coffee for me on her way past starbucks.... I usually brew my own on weekdays, but the power of suggestion yada yada...

tom-the-impaler said...

I find a double espresso over ice and sweetened condensed milk (Vietnamese style) works fine. I figure I'm getting about half a pot of coffee in a single glass.

Paul Simer said...

ENERGY PARENTING

Mike W. said...

4 energy drinks, 3 cups of coffee and 6 sodas?

It'd probably be more cost-effective to claim her kid has ADD and get a script for some Adderrall.

Anonymous said...

Forget about the negative affects of the energy drinks and coffee for a moment, the six pack of soda is possibly worse. Most likely it is diet soda containing asparatame (NutraSweet). If you google asparatame you will see for yourself. This woman is filling her body with toxins that will have an impact. If she eat healthy and exercised and got the proper sleep she would have enough energy regardless of her schedule. With all that caffeine she probably can't sleep which makes no sense to injest caffeine during the day and then impair your sleep at night.

Matt G said...

"'It makes you nervous, jittery, pulse races, premature heartbeat,' said Emory University cardiologist Dr. Allen Dollar. 'But the good news is, those are very short-term effects and have no long-term consequences whatsoever.'"

In other words, make mine large, black, and with an extra shot*. Thankyewverrahmuch.

--M.

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*I'll just leave that straight light hanging for the rest of you to knock out of the park.