Thursday, July 17, 2008

He was a couple balloons shy of genius.

When attempting to ice yourself in a confusing fashion so that it looks like a murder and your spouse will get the insurance money, you should try and pick a method that hasn't been used on CSI recently. Or at least use a few more weather balloons so your revolver won't be found in a cactus thirty yards away.

10 comments:

Kevin said...

I wonder how long he'd held the policy. Most people don't know that if the policy is older than 24 months, the insurance company cannot refuse to pay in the event of a suicide unless it specifically exempts that cause of death.

BryanP said...

Kevin is absolutely correct. Generally the exemption is if you are committing a crime in the process. The example that was given to me is that if someone OD's on cocaine. That would be not pay because cocaine is illegal. ODing on vicodin which is legally prescribed would pay as long as you have held the policy for two years.

The Raving Prophet said...

I know my insurance policy specifically stated the length of time before they'd pay on a suicide (was one or two years, IIRC).

I also wonder how this jackass would have felt had his cunning plan worked and it gone down as a homicide. The police would have looked for a killer, and they might even have found somebody to pin the rap on- what would this idiot have thought had somebody gone to the death chamber or just received life in prison for his own suicide?

JG said...

Raving Prophet:

"Witnesses reported that the suspect was a pale black hispanic arab, standing approximately 4'10" to 7'1" tall, with slightly short lightish dark hair, and blue-greenish brown eyes."

Wyatt Earp said...

That show is the worst thing that ever happened to my profession. Now, every knucklehead that had their shanty burglarized thinks we Philly detectives will bring in the lasers and x-ray monitors.

Ugh.

Brian J. said...

What a novel way to dispose of a murder weapon: in a fashion that makes it look like an exotic suicide.

perlhaqr said...

Brian J. for the win!

Jeff said...

Wyatt -
You do turn off all the lights and walk around with a flashlight at crimescenes don't you?

staghounds said...

Mr. Earp's job is easy now. All he has to do to be sure evidence is important is to pick it up and see if the background music becomes more dramatic.

I do not see more than three or four cases a year in which any element of any crime, including identity of the criminal, is proven by scientific means. In the CSI sense, exempting of course drug cases.

There are WAY better ways to fake an accident.

hogdogs said...

I reckon he cut off the trigger guard expecting it to hang up on his recently deceased finger...