Sunday, July 13, 2008

Mowing redux.

Thanks to the front that blew through last night, the humidity has dropped off to nothing (comparatively speaking) and it's struggling to top eighty degrees out there. I'm going to kick back with a bottle of beer and a copy of Thud! by Terry Pratchett and wait for the front lawn to get mostly in the shade, then barber it. Then I'm going for a bicycle ride, because I'm cool like that.

Oh, and Memo to Mr. & Mrs. Jack La Lanne at the grocery store bike rack: The matching helmets were cute as dammit, but wearing bike clothes covered with corporate logos when nobody is actually sponsoring you makes you look something of a twink. Also, there should be an age limit on spandex that tight; if I'm too old for it, you certainly are.

EDIT: And what's up with the bike helmets that have the little ducktail spoilers on the back? Are those supposed to generate downforce to help hold you on the banking, or something?

16 comments:

Old NFO said...

Heh... Don't go to Hawaii Tam, it's even worse out there... I didn't think they MADE Spandex in those sizes, much less anyone would actually wear it to a public beach!

Adrian K said...

And the corporate logo thing? You really mustn't visit the Pacific Northwest.

They SELL the bicycle clothing in the stores with all those labels already printed on the fabric.

John A said...

"... clothes covered with corporate logos when nobody is actually sponsoring you makes you look something of a twink."

I have long felt that these companies should pay me to be a modern equivalent of a sandwich-board wearer. At the very least not charge me more 300% than the same quality no-logo item such as in T-shirts: some argument may be made for various sneakers, but socks?

John B said...

Only time I wear branded crap is if it's given to me as a present. I wore some Sean John wear for a week or so. Why does that guy wear a more expensive suit than Donald Trump in the Macy's commercials, if he's selling Hip-Hop wear?

Otherwise I charge for wearing branded wear, after all I'm a bigger billboard ...

Nathan Brindle said...

The vision you really don't want is male German tourists in itsy-bitsy-eeny-weenie mankinis on the white sand beaches of Naples, Florida.

I was blind for three days.

Oh, sorry if anyone else has that mental picure now. But sharing is good, right?

Standard Mischief said...

In light of the post just before this one

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Twink

Just saying

Don Meaker said...

Tam, you need to spend some time out in the desert. 0 to 15% humidity. So long as you keep pouring in (and sometimes on) the water, the heat is tolerable, and even feels good. My sister's ex husband was almost crippled by arthritis, and upon moving to Tucson, is in much better shape.

Desert: A great place to live.

Zendo Deb said...

One of the episodes of "Dead Like Me" observed that one guy in a bike shirt is a tool, but put 4 guys in the same lame shirt and it's even money they think they are top of the heap.

Oh, and if you don't want to see a lot of old people in bike shirts/shorts (or bikinis, or speedos, etc.) don't come to Florida. And I think clothing optional beaches should be outlawed because I don't think anyone should be subjected to a bunch of old, naked, Europeans.

doubletrouble said...

Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
A vacay spot for Quebecers, since forever.
My son & I were camping near there about 25 years ago, & decided to spend a day at the beach.

The boy, all of 11 years old says, “Dad… I can tell the Canadians from the people who live here”.
I’m figgerin’, smart kid- notices the language and/or the accent.
“How’s that Dan”?
“All the Canadians have their balls hanging out in their swimsuits”.

Ahem.

Earl said...

I think leaving the Logo off clothing is the right way to go, always. But since I am never going to be a trend setter no one asks where I got my clothes, and muscle shirts and spandex only work if you really worked at the body under them - like the fifty year old Bowflex grandmother... in her bikini. I do believe in truth in advertising, don't you?

E said...

the great thing about spandex is that it's ALL sizes!

branding sux unless it has reached classic status somehow, and that usually also involves being discontinued or going out of business.

redneckinny said...

There's..a...David...Hassel...hoff...snark...in...my...head...somewhere. I just can't get that image out of my head to write it down...coherently. Oh, my brain hurts.

staghounds said...

"If people aren't interested in YOUR opinions, what makes you believe they want to hear from your shirt?"

F. Liebowitz

Funny timing on this, I just finished removing the brand and model identification from the outside of my new truck.

butch_s. said...

Don Meaker said...
"Desert: A great place to live."

Yeah, if you're a scorpion or gila monster. ;-)

Anonymous said...

I believe the words you were looking for are 'pouser' or 'wannabe', either of which would fit this situation perfectly.

Gmac

Sendarius said...

The duck tail (and vents) helps draw air through the helmet, thus keeping your head cool.
After all, the Spandex/Lycra advertising you are wearing makes you HOT - you need something to make you COOL.