Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Redefining "fishy"...

So, if you were a banker down in the Texas borderlands, and a guy kept coming to you with deposits of huge sums of dirty, crumbling paper currency, and his stories about where it came from kept changing ("It was an inheritance." "We found it in an old rotted tree." "The wife won a couple of bingo games." "There was a Mexican leprechaun at the end of the rainbow.") would you be a little suspicious?

Yeah, well, so's the .gov.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oddly enough it seems that if he had walked into the treasury with a bale of rotten money and said "I found it here" (points at hole in the backyard), it'd pretty well be his, +/- a sudden interest by the IRS wanting it's cut.

Tam said...

I'm sayin'!

If you need to come up with an excuse for cashing in a metric ton of ill-gotten dope money, keep your story simple and don't keep changing it.

Brian J. said...

The good news is that, without any evidence of a crime, the government will get to keep that money and spend it on its pet projects. Imagine the thought of that money that might have allegedly illegally crossed the border spent on services for people who might have allegedly illegally crossed the border.

Possession is nine-tenths of the guilt, as they say. Or should these days.

Rob K said...

If you're going to bury money, it's gotta' be in sealed packages with a desiccant. Completely eliminates this problem.

mts said...

Nah, if you're going to bury money, a whole s**tload of money, bury gold coins. I wonder who would accept a bag of rotten money for anything. And if he found it, I'm sure the gang that buried it is now looking for him.

Does no one know how to be inconspicuous anymore? He used different banks, but why all in the same area? You know they'd match stories at a Chamber of Commerce event - it's too good of a story not to tell other bankers if you're a banker. The first "me too" gets you nabbed.

You could spread that out over months and years.

Locally we had a woman siphon off like $200,000 of a town's money over 25 years she was a bookkeeper there. But in Lake Co. Indiana, gubmint people know how to be smart crooks who don't get caught.

David said...

Idiot should have hired all the criminal defense attorneys in the area, given them each a wad of cash for the retainer, then fired 'em after they did an hour of work advising him on some silly topic, and taken his refund in a check.

In law school, the crim def attorneys laughed and laughed at career days talking about the many ways their clients paid their bills. Dirt-covered cash was almost "normal."