Thursday, July 17, 2008

Today In History: They must have used MapQuest.

On this day in 1203AD, crusaders from France and half of Northern Europe, accompanied by Venetian troops, stormed Byzantine Constantinople.

They had set out to kill muslims in Cairo the previous Summer and only missed by 800 miles and a whole religion. Perhaps if they'd stopped and asked for directions?

9 comments:

Borepatch said...

Sorry, Tam, they were men. We don't stop to ask directions.

karrde said...

Was that the Crusade where they got mixed up in the politics of their guides, and the guide led them to Constantinople?

Or did I get the century wrong?

Savyono (formerly known as Ranheru VanZant) said...

Footman #1: Begging your pardon, Sir Reginald, but with all these crucifixes about, I DO believe these people are, in fact, Christians.

Footman #2: Aye, but they have tans and speak an uncouth language.

Sir Reginald: Yes, quite. Commence the sacking. You, Footman #1, hold up a slain body and shout something Egypty sounding so no one else catches on.

Footmen 1&2: Yes, m'lord!

Tam said...

"Was that the Crusade where they got mixed up in the politics of their guides, and the guide led them to Constantinople?"

Yeah, you didn't need to be Columbo to pick the culprits out of a police lineup, either.

The Venetians sent a large contingent. Coincidentally, the Venetians had also spent the last decades as the under-the-table trade brokers with the Islamic world, and their primary rivals were the Byzantines.

What a shock when a reason to divert to Constantinople was suddenly... um... discovered.

Buckaroo Banzai said...

Dang, Ted beat me to it!

Anonymous said...

Damn Venetians, and the Franks, always tried playing both sides, making under the table deals with the Muslims while making the appropriate noises for consumption in Europe. Too bad people like the Byzantines, and later the Austrians and Hungarians ended up doing the heavy lifting.

And of course the morons hastened the end of the Eastern Roman Empire and the rise of the Ottoman Turks, who at least have eventually proven to be much less inflexibly, adamantly asinine than their Arab coreligionists.

Anonymous said...

"...their primary rivals were the Byzantines."

I was gonna say; whether that Crusade asked for directions, Venice was happy to show the way.

John B said...

mapquest?

check this entry! about the location of the dog. Don't trust GPS

John B said...

oop sorry web addy....
http://loveslaughinglocksmith.blogspot.com/2008/06/new-post-finally.html