Friday, July 03, 2009

In other news, experts determine that water is, in fact, wet.

This may come as a shock to you, but doctors are warning that engaging in eating contests where you bolt a couple pounds of butter, wolf down 50 hot dogs in ten minutes, or stuff your face with over a hundred jalapeƱos, might cause obesity and other health complications.

Who knew?

14 comments:

Buck said...

I wonder if this will be addressed in the Ones health plan.

DyNama said...

nonsense. most competitive eaters are not fat. most obese people are healthy. food does not cause disease, except for the lack of it. we eat every day, some days we get sick--no connection has been proven. your body knows just fine how to deal with excess calories, as we all find out on thanxgiving day.

Nathan Brindle said...

Have you seen that dude who wins the hot dog eating contests most of the time? I wonder where the hell he puts it.

My Dad was 165 pounds wringing wet and it remains a mystery where he'd put a 24-oz. Porterhouse with all the trimmings. Or three servings of my Aunt Mary's pot pie noodles with pot roast and mashed potatoes.

Shit, I weigh 250 and I can't eat that much.

I think I'll file this with most of the stuff that begins "Experts say" or "Studies show".

Anonymous said...

Nathan, your dad sounds like my BIL except he's 6'6" and 145lbs, give or take.

Anonymous said...

Good thing we have doctors around to tell how to live. Otherwise we'd no doubt shit ourselves, eat drain cleaner, and walk in front of speeding busses. -- Lyle

Tam said...

Lyle,

You laugh, but I was about to eat five pounds of butter at a sitting just for the heck of it until I read this article and thought "Whoah! You mean that might be bad for me?"

:D

ravenshrike said...

I like how they attempt to pass off the last guy's sarcoidosis as somehow stemming from his eating habits.

Nathan Brindle said...

Dad was 5'8", just like me. I wish I weighed what he did. Last time I was that skinny I was in high school.

Joanna said...

"most obese people are healthy. food does not cause disease, except for the lack of it."

You need to hear my sister's lecture on the causes of Type II diabetes. It'll knock your socks off. You wouldn't believe all the crap that a few extra pounds can add to your life.

OrangeNeckInNY said...

I used to chow down on a 32 oz. porterhouse served on a sizzling 450 degree platter with fresh garlice, rosemary and butter, at the local steakhouse twice a week, along with sides and about four 25 oz. mugs of beer.

I never gained an ounce, but something happened inside of me that wasn't healthy and finally caught up with me - high cholesterol, which caused high blood pressure. Looking at me, you'd never know I had it, but it was there. Nowadays, I'll go and have the 32 oz. porterhouse maybe twice a year and I eat as healthy as I can between those feedings.

These days, I use Smart Balance 50/50 butter blend when I'm home and butter when I'm out (no margarine for me unless I have no other choice).

There's a reason why gluttony is one of the 7 deadly sins.

HTRN said...

Nathan, the current theory on why the skinny guys do so well in the eating contests is that the layer of fat acts like a "belt" and limits the amount of expansion of the stomach - Case in Point: In 2008, the top 5 of the annual Nathan's Hot Dog contest(2009 happening today!) were all skinny people, and the #3 place went to 98 pound Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas. She ate 33 hot dogs in 10 minutes.

Tam said...

"nonsense. ... most obese people are healthy."

I'll remember that the next time I have to crowd to the side of the aisle at Wally World so that some 450-500 pounder can go trolleying by on one of those electric pallet jacks they have for their customers who just can't say "no" to a Ho-Ho.

Edmund said...

An opportunistic filmmaker named Morgan Spurlock ate nothing but the unhealthiest items he could find at McDonalds for an entire month, and guess what? He didn't look or feel too good. But funnier yet is that millions of people paid to see a movie about his "experiment" and many thought that they had learned something profound about "fast food". Never mind that a diet of nothing but broccoli for a month wouldn't do much for you either. Mr Spurlock has since moved on to a lucrative career demonstrating the obvious to those who enjoy hearing it. At least "speed eaters" don't pretend to be doing anything meaningful.

DyNama said...

have you ever seen a 450-pounder eat a ho ho? they don't dare! and wal-mart and mcdonalds are only full of fat people if that is all you notice (what is called "confirmation bias")--me, i do not see lots of fat people in either (perhaps i have confirmation bias too). our food supply is safe, cheap, and healthy; mcdonalds makes good healthy food, and millions love it every day. ho hos, twinkies, ice cream, and big macs can all be a part of a pleasurable life--stop being so elitist!

obesity does not cause diabetes, possibly diabetes causes obesity! joanna, you are correct: i wouldn't believe it! science cannot prove any of your claims, you have all got your info from tv commercials! ha!

the funny thing about this health crusade is the sad truth (for crusaders) that by any objective measure, we are living longer healthier lives. if there is any danger to our current good health, it is following unhealthy healthy lifestyles!