Friday, January 01, 2010

Yeah, yeah, I'm awake already.

Before I do the quasi-obligatory "Look Back At The 365 Days Of Teh Suck That Was 2009", let's see if we have anything out there to make fun of...

Hmm...

CNN rarely disappoints... Let's check the political ticker section...

Wow. There's your year in review right there...

Hey. Hey, you. Mainstream Media, I'm talking to you. Wipe your chin off and look over here, okay?

Look, when I was younger, I had a bit of a thing for Kiefer Sutherland, but I could go more than two sentences without using his name, you know what I mean?

This is starting to verge on creepy, like we're going to hear that MSNBC has cooked up a nice Bo soup, or CBS was found in the bushes under Barry's bedroom window with some rubber gloves and a roll of duct tape. If Barack was one of my friends and Chris Matthews was somebody my friend had just met in a bar, I'd be urging consideration of a restraining order. It is possible to like somebody entirely toooo much.

21 comments:

BobG said...

Gettin' real tired of seeing his name everywhere, especially since it never seems linked up to anything positive.

Sarah said...

They might as well just go ahead and alter their network logos to include Obama's "O" - then start chanting the Obama "mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm" song. It's not like many of us would be shocked to see or hear these things, after all.

Anonymous said...

I have a friend who lived in the USSR, under old Uncle Joe Stalin. He saved an issue of a newspaper in which he had underlined (in red, no less) every single mention of "Dear Stalin," "Mighty Leader," etc.

Needless to say, there was a shit-tonne of red on the front page alone.

We're headed in the same damn direction with Dear Precedent.

treefroggy said...

"Obamas catch 'Avatar' "

I thought they were vaccinated ?

Canthros said...

Hey, Jim Traficant's running (from what charges and to where?)! Or ... wait, is it Traficant that's running, or just his hairpiece? (Although, I think I saw that rug on a Twilight Zone episode once...)

Midwest Chick said...

Saw the 'year in review' on Today this morning. Nothing about hopes dashed, promises broken. Just the highlights. It went on for a VERRRY long time.

Noah D said...

Charges dropped against Blackwater operators? Have to check that out...

theirritablearchitect said...

"...CBS was found in the bushes under Barry's bedroom window with some rubber gloves and a roll of duct tape..."

I was thinking that it'd read more like,

"...CBS was found in the bushes under Barry's bedroom window with some condoms and a large jar of Vasoline..."

It doesn't seem so far fetched either.

Revolver Rob said...

The Obamas the next great celebrity couple who does nothing and yet gets to spend your tax dollars to do it.

-Rob

WV: Prone, the position being assumed by the majority of mass media and an alarming number of American voters.

Caleb said...

Aside: whenever I see the "Ensign" stories, my first thought is always "why are they grilling a naval or Coastie junior officer in an ethics committee?"

Tam said...

Some poor O1 sitting in front of a panel of congresscritters... Oy, veh!

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of the exchange between Groucho Marx and "a female contestant who came from a family of seventeen children"

"Groucho: How does your father feel about this rather startling turn of events? Is he happy or just dazed?
Daughter: Oh, my daddy loves children
Groucho: Well, I like pancakes but I haven't got closets full of them..."

Cite: http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/grouchocigar.asp

Caleb said...

Of course, that O1 might have the sand to actually stand up for their decisions, unlike the Stars and Bars that usually sit in front Congress.

Schmidt said...

It's quite obvious that newspapers give people the information they want, not what they need.

Who would read news that would scare them shitless?

Anyway, I wish everyone good luck in the decade when it will all finally fall apart. We will live in interesting times.

Joseph said...

At least we can look towards the 2010 mid-term elections and a possible Republican majority...and hopefully not a rubber stamp Congress.

Matt G said...

Chris Hansen can host Dateline's newest series: "To Catch A Predator-- White House Edition."

How eerie it would be to catch glimpses of his colleagues, or even (gasp!) footage of himself, in the bushes outside the manse at 1600 Penn Ave.

NotClauswitz said...

I'm glad to see the Blackwater! guys get taken off the hook - they should have never been there.
I'm going to spend 2010 like the whoosits in the whathouse don't exist.

monkeyfan said...

"Hey. Hey, you. Mainstream Media, I'm talking to you. Wipe your chin off and look over here, okay?"

They really should cut down on their salt intake...

phlegmfatale said...

This post reminds me of the time I was showing a loft for a pied a terre to a lawyer who was accompanied by his boytoy. I noticed the drying spooge on the nattily dressed attorney's throat about the same time his hand nervously felt the crusty spot, thus the provenance of "cumstain lawyer" in my own personal epithet wardrobe. Anyhoo, Mainstream Media should really wipe it off before they go out in public, yeah? Too bad they are going so cheap. Different year, same old crap, eh?

Happy new year, Tam!

Justthisguy said...

I keep thinking of "Play Misty for Me."

Except that Mr. Eastwood is far, far, more worthy of being obsessed and aye crushed upon, be ye boy or girl, than is the O-hole.

Caleb said...

Phlemmy, you have the weirdest fucking stories ever. And I mean that as a compliment.