Wednesday, June 02, 2010

I know it gets bad around here sometimes...

The other night I could hardly hear myself think over the sound of Christians blowing themselves to Heritage U.S.A. in the local post office.

I had never noticed the sound before, but Travis Smiley opened my ears and my mind!

I wonder what color the sky is in his world?

28 comments:

Joel said...

Hey, look! My new Christianity Vest has a big red button!

Jehovah Akbar! Where's the nearest post office?

Joanna said...

Jehovah Akbar!

I LOL'd.

One could, in fact, point to certain African militias and the age-old fight in the Balkans as examples of Christian violence. One would have a much harder time finding Christians anywhere else in the world who secretly longed to join their struggle.

Themadlemming said...

Did you mean to say "blowing themselves up" ?

Tam said...

Joanna,

Ah, but he specified "...in this country."

Baptists often have kooky ideas about when I can buy beer, but they rarely come into the liquor store wearing semtex underoos.

Jay G said...

Nah, Tam, Baptists would never do that.

Y'see, if they hit the button and the explosion went off unevenly, it might look like they were dancing...

staghounds said...

I cannot imagine being so vain that I would have anything worth saying if Ayaan Ali Hirsi were in the room.

This is like John Wayne lecturing Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain about battle.

Or, "Listen, Mr. Lindbergh, I've taken the DC to ATL red eye nine times, in FIRST CLASS, so let me tell you about flying..."

Tam said...

staghounds,

Some people's egos are, like the power of the interstate commerce clause, effectively boundless. ;)

Bram said...

Us Presbyterians just declared a jihad against the infidel Lutherans. Hopefully the mainstream media will cover it with a full body-count tonight.

global village idiot said...

Tavis Smiley is a left-coast rabble-rouser of the worst sort. His NPR radio program isn't very popular even by NPR standards - on the Chicago station it plays Sunday afternoon. Some years ago they tried to give him an hour every weekday but there isn't that much Liberal White Guilt even among NPR listeners.

His logical flaw is that he equates murder and mayhem committed by Christians for whatever cause or no cause at all with murder and mayhem committed by ideologically-driven Muslims. That and Bishop Hanson from the ELCA has yet to issue any fatwas for bashing the church.

og said...

"semtex underoos."

band name.

Joel said...

I cannot imagine being so vain that I would have anything worth saying if Ayaan Ali Hirsi were in the room.

I think I could manage a "Hamminahammminahammina," and perhaps a bit of drool, but I'd have to really focus my mind.

Joanna said...

I'm reminded of the Emo Philips routine where he encounters a would-be bridge jumper and discusses religion until he finds out the guy belongs to a different synod, at which he says "Die, heretic!" and shoves him over.

I missed the "in this country" part (work computer won't let me hear the video). 'Round here the worst Christian violence you get is someone telling the store clerk it's okay to say "Merry Christmas."

Peter said...

I think I might be persuaded to found a new Church memorial day, on an annual basis, in honor of Torquemada. It would, of course, involve an auto-da-fe . . . and for this spectacular stupidity, Travis Smiley would be invited to be the first guest of honor!

Kevin said...

Tavis. Tavis Smiley. No "r".

Apparently because it stands for "realistic," or "reasonable."

jimbob86 said...

.... or "right", as in "correct" or "factual".

I follow the news pretty closely, and I cant recall ANYBODY walking into a post office and blowing it up, or even shooting it up, other than a few Postal Service Employees who apparently misplaced their gruntle a few years back..... Christians commit acts of terror "Every Day"?!?!?! Really?

He's so practiced at pulling stuff out of his posterior that he did not even even have to loosen his belt.... I didn't even see him move! And he did it from a sitting position? Jerry Miculek needs to get this on high speed video so he can take some pointers.... The FASTEST way to draw? Sphincter Carry!

OA said...

Christian violence? Like what happens after the Methodists do the chicken dance on the field upon beating the Baptists in softball?

fast richard said...

Bram's comment on a Presbyterian vs Lutheran conflict just got my mouth watering 'cause the only thing I could imagine was a church basement pot luck dinner competition.

CalvinsMom said...

If those fucking Lutherans ever manage to come up with a lutefisk bomb, you guys will be singing a different tune.

For now, they'll just potluck your ass to death.

RWC said...

Tam, this was probably covered here but I may have missed it. My cuz just sent it to me.

All I can think is.....'people didn't see this coming???'

http://www.reuters.com/article/politicsNews/idUSTRE59E0Q920091015

WV- kinan

ehh, I got nothin'....

Jason said...

Wait, what Christians go to Heritage U.S.A. when they blow themselves up? Doesn't anyone at least strive for Disneyworld or at least one of the Six Flags parks anymore?

I thought Purgatory was gonna be bad, but at least it's not Heritage U.S.A.

wv: ishibe - How Sean Connery says "It's eBay."

TJP said...

I'm sure the sky is blue, but his corpus inhabits this world while his mind inhabits a future world. In that future world--date unknown--marxist indoctrination produces something of value, and an all-powerful state has a clear reason to establish marxism as the official religion of everywhere.

What the hell, if an armed defender is pre-guilty of murder, then I guess all Christians are pre-guilty of jihad.

Bram said...

TJP - It's Pre-Destination. As in God has pre-ordained your doom and you are pre-destined to feel the wrath of my tuna casserole!

Bram said...

Don't mess with Calvinist! I'm talking to you, Episcopalians.

TW said...

Tavis may have a problem quick-drawing from Sphincter Carry. He might scratch the bridge of his nose with his head in there too.

wv: droke - "Ah droke all mah likker afore th' game, dimmit!"

LabRat said...

If nothing else, Stephen King produced one thing of true value to mankind when he managed to spend something like 800 pages constructing a scenario in which a final, apocalyptic battle between small-town Catholics and small-town Protestants was a real, dramatic result of plot events coming to a head. (In Needful Things, in case you ask.)

It was awesome. A-W-E-S-O-M-E. Especially the part where the priest had the pastor in a headlock and was pounding the hell out of his face.

Anonymous said...

Say, since Smiley said he was a Christian, and he's on Public TV and Radio, which takes Federal Tax money, shouldn't the Athiest and ACLU sue the Goobermint to get him off the air? Separation of Church and State, don't you know. Or was Smiley talking about those great Christian leaders Wright and Sharpton?

wv:jouicire. Didn't she have a band with some Pussy Cats?

Tam said...

"Say, since Smiley said he was a Christian, and he's on Public TV and Radio, which takes Federal Tax money, shouldn't the Athiest and ACLU sue the Goobermint to get him off the air?"

reductio ad absurdum much?

Geodkyt said...

Now, remember, people.

It's not "Jehovah Akbar!" (I never knew the Admiral had a first name, anyway!)

It's "Deus Vult!"

Get it right while you're infiltrating the Kabaa Hajj procession with your Semtex underoos.