Monday, July 26, 2010

Funny, I don't feel like a Yanqui devil...

So Pugsley is threatening to cut off oil shipments to the US if Columbia attacks his country, because that would be America's fault, just like everything else bad that happens in the world. (You'd think that with him and our current President holding a core belief in common like that, our countries could come to a better understanding.) He's also threatening to "eat rocks", and perhaps to hold his breath until he turns blue.
If there is an attack from Colombia, Chavez said Sunday, Venezuela would stop supplying oil to the United States, "even if we have to eat rocks" because of the repercussions.

"That would be a response of dignity and high caliber," Chavez said.
You know, this is proof that these tinpot wog dictators really don't believe the "Evil Satan Imperialist" crap they spout about America; if we were the oil-hungry global hegemon they claim we are, we'd have been going 'round the world and walkin' the dog with Chavez already, just like we did with Saddam.

21 comments:

Brian J. said...

Frankly, I think the simple logistical considerations dictate we must invade Canada and Mexico to get our precious oil. There are totally roads there instead of needing air or sea transport.

Boat Guy said...

s'OK 'cause we're still "Imperialists" well, 'cause we aaaarrre" All my professors said so!
Maybe Pugsley is hoping we'll invade and take over his nasty little country - God knows Iraq's certainly better off than they were under Hussein.
"The Mouse That Roared" anyone?

Nathan said...

More like the cockroach that squeaked.

JHardin said...

"even if we have to eat rocks" because of the repercussions.

Yeah, like if the country suffers any hardships he will actually share in them...

Old NFO said...

I think we just FEED him rocks... and then see if he can swim...

theirritablearchitect said...

Let him drink his own oil, then.

Bram said...

Brian J.: If we were to annex Canada and Mexico, our crazy rules would shut down all oil and shale extraction. Turning Mexico and Canada from net oil exporters into importers would only drive the price of oil up.

Jay G said...

With the supply of free oil from Citgo shut off, will Joe Kennedy finally have to go out and get a real job?

I know, I know...

Bubblehead Les. said...

Personally, I would love to see what Sean Penn would do if Columbia told Hillary and Barry and the UN to Shove It and they cleaned Pugsley's clock. "I'd buy THAT for a Dollar!"

B Smith said...

Where IS all that oil we stole from Iraq?
Hmm. Bush musta took it back to Texas with him, greedy Nazi bastard.

Tennessee Budd said...

He's worried about a mid-sized Southern Middle Tennessee town attacking him?
Well, actually, he would most likely lose that one.

DirtCrashr said...

He's got a crab-hole, not a spider-hole.

Anonymous said...

lol@TennBudd.

I used to live in that mid-sized Southern Middle Tennessee town. Went to McDowell Elementary and Whitthorne Junior High before moving to Va (nearly 25 years ago).

Firehand said...

Yeah, if they REALLY BELIEVED we're that power-hungry and evil, they'd keep their damned mouths shut to avoid drawing our interest.

Like if the Media Matters weenies actually believed we were as evil as they like to scream.

Weer'd Beard said...

He can stop selling oil to this country whenever he's ready. There are a few Shit-Go stations near my house and I wouldn't mind them re-branded ASAP as it sucks driving past a gas station to get to the gas station, But I need to be deathly concerned of getting stranded on the highway before I'll stop at one of those shops.

DirtCrashr said...

He wouldn't know high-caliber (or dignity) if it hit him in the forehead.

Anonymous said...

It would almost be worth it to start a war just to see him do it.

mc said...

Chavez is as tacky and trashy as a chav, I can't see his name without connecting the two:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chav

I'd approach the word "wog" but I really keep screwing up the balance between humor, history and cute.

I'm better off leaving it there and asserting a deep and long held observation of chav behavior from a variety of perspectives.

Tinpot wog is right on the money.

Justthisguy said...

Heh! She said "wog." I'm afraid I agree with that British soldier who said, "Wogs begin at Calais." Sorry, Staghounds.

John B said...

Well I'm a little more racist toward Chavez than 'Wog'.

With a perfunctory apology to Peter Gabriel "Hydra-Shok the Monkey"

Au├čenseiter said...

Colombia gets several billion of the rapidly depreciating greenbacks in military aid each year. That's probably what he had in mind..

BTW, Pugsley is a great designation for him. I just can't respect a strongman who lets himself go like that....

He's funny. If you want an example of a sinister autocrat, look no further than to general Zia Ul-Haq who set Pakistan firmly on the islamic path..

He had eyes like those of a dead racoon, I swear..