Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Cats.

So, at night, Mittens was always "head cat", curled up against my shoulder, and Random Numbers was always "feet cat", who would make a nest down between my ankles.

With Mittens gone, Rannie has apparently decided that it's high time she try out for the "head cat" job.

What she doesn't understand is that the two most important qualifications for the position are: 1) Stillness, and 2) Quiet.

It's easy to sleep with a soft, fluffy cat curled up next to your head, purring softly. Not so much so with a cat who is constantly singing to you under her breath, getting up to change positions every thirty seconds, and occasionally frantically licking your pillow, the wall, or you.

22 comments:

Jim said...

Perhaps a small heating pad by your feet? It might be enough of a temptation.

Jim

Anonymous said...

Here's a solution to the head-cat, though it comes with complications of its own:

Get a tiny, fat chihuahua and let him sleep under the covers next to you. When any feline furball makes headspace incursions, a vicious snarling attack ensues, cat is quickly dispatched.

Complications? Well, it doesn't seem to matter whose face or other um, sensitive areas are in the crossfire; just collateral damage as far as the miniature alphadog is concerned. Ow.

AT

.45ACP+P said...

Reminds me of a cat who learned to fly. He liked to lick eye lids of sleeping people. I eventually fixed the wallboard where he impacted after he licked mine. That cat was sweet but dumb as a post. His temperment did not change after his flight but he NEVER licked MY eyelids again.

Nathan said...

Try a 20-pounder who not only licks you when he's awake and snores when he's asleep, but also tries his durndest to kick you out of bed.

Anonymous said...

My wife had a head cat wen she was a young girl. It claimed the pillow next to her every night.

If she had a friend sleep over the cat just laid across their face until they got the idea it was a cat only pillow.

Gerry

Ed Rasimus said...

Gotta love it when even a cat-lover gives you plenty of good reasons why not to get a cat. (I first wrote "cat-owner" there, but quickly recalled that cats defy ownership).

Dogs are a much better pet choice. Loyal, trustworthy, can be taught things (even not to get on people furniture) and they know enough to take care of business outside the house.

They also function as an excellent deterrent to proselytizers of various sects who come to your door to enlighten you.

wv: burdsqui--what you occasionally find in the litter box after a night out.

Guffaw in AZ said...

Beelzebub (black longhair/yellow eyes) used to sleep on my chest, buzzing as a buzz-saw. It was the waking up and the batting at the eye movement that was annoying.

Tam said...

Ed,

It must be sad to only like one kind of animal. :(

Personally, I like dogs, too, but sometimes their incessant toadying and sucking up gets old.

Joanna said...

They also function as an excellent deterrent to proselytizers of various sects who come to your door to enlighten you.

Cats can serve that function. You just have to get them wet first.

When I lay on my side, Kitty likes to curl up in the hollow between my shoulders and my knees. When I lay on my back, she curls up between my knees. When I lay on my stomach, she curls up on my back, or on the back of my legs. How long she stays there depends on how cold the night is and how much I fidget. She's never been a head cat.

Tirno said...

I once had a dream that I was trying to walk down the street, only there was something wrong with my right leg. I couldn't pick it up. I could only drag it, lurching. My foot tingled like it was...vibrating.

Then I woke up, and found that both of our new Russian Blues had colonized my foot.

On another occasion, as one of those Blues claimed the spot between the knees, the other claimed the shoulder position. It was nice enough, sleeping to the little purrs...

Until, in the middle of the night, little Galina decided that she loved her daddy, and wouldn't it be nice to help daddy get his ears REALLY CLEAN.

But the widdy fuzballs are soooo cuuuuuute, how can we be mad at them?

Matt G said...

Heck, I can barely tolerate sleeping in the same bed with a human. Branching out to other species would be too much trouble for me.

Lissa said...

Omg I thought Rajah was the only wall-licker!!!

Ed Rasimus said...

Tam, I like many different kinds of animals. I even like cats in other people's houses. I like deer, especially with a black cherry sauce and elk backstrap with a nice Pinot Noir. You'd be surprised at the animals that can be found in some of the bars I frequent as well.

LabRat said...

Personally, I like dogs, too, but sometimes their incessant toadying and sucking up gets old.

This is what Akitas are for, as well as other nordic/primitive breeds insufficiently derived to be innately impressed by humans.

On the other hand, it can also get old to be looking into the eyes of another creature nearly as big as you are that is clearly thinking "Damn, but you're not too bright, are you?"

BGMiller said...

Got a pair of miniature schnauzers. The breed was originally meant to be ratters so they tend to be very cat like. You end up with a 25 lb dog that acts very cat like and even looks vaguely like a lynx but follows pack discipline.

Otto is bottom of the heap. He knows it, is comfortable with it, and makes no indications he wants to move up.

Indy though.... He is unconvinced that poppas is worthy of being his Alpha. Every other week I'm having to put him in his place.

No toadying there. Heck I'm wary drinking my beer if I set it down and he goes near it.

BGM

John A said...

Joanna "Cats can serve that function."

If trained. Supposedly one function of the Siamese breed was to wait in high places - the ledge over a door, for example - of a temple and pounce on any intruder. I can certainly believe it would be effective on several levels, not least keeping said intruder too busy to elude your application of a two-by-four to the kneecaps.

Joe in PNG said...

Cats bury it. Dogs don't.

Anonymous said...

Many years ago, when I lived on the Left Coast, a friend had a pair of Siamese. Due to the (generally) mild weather, they would leave the inner door open, with just the screen door closed.

When anyone came to the door, knocked or rang the door bell, BOTH cats would HIT the screen at about eye level, hanging onto the screen, hissing, spitting and growling.

Scared the heck out of anyone who wasn't expecting it.

cap'n chumbucket

treefroggy said...

St Joseph's Quaaludes for Children. Also works on cats. Just dissolve 1/2 tab in some warm milk.

GuardDuck said...

but sometimes their incessant toadying and sucking up gets old

Sooooo, that's why you've stopped responding to my emails...

Ritchie said...

Rocket Baby will ONLY sleep on the bed curled up behind my knees. But when she's by the pillow waiting for cat food, she can hear me open my eyes. I checked. It is so.

Anonymous said...

I was dumb enough to start leaving the bedroom door open in February when the house was cold enough for the cat to make its home by the heat register and look forlorn. Never mind that it has a fleece fort on the couch in which to keep warm. If it falls asleep first, I can't go to sleep with the constant snore inhale, whistle through the nose exhale, like an idling truck engine that had a water hose problem. And I now awaken to turn over, aware that I need to watch so I don't bop it with my hand like I've done so far. A cat cleaning itself 10 feet away in a living room is perfectly noiseless; 6 inches away from my head, it's a symphony of tugs and slurps and snorts that makes me want to vomit.