Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Morning Headline Roundup:

  • Greece On The Brink Of Default: Much like "Nebraska full of corn", this is the opposite of news. This is like having the doctor rush into the waiting room and say "The patient's still almost dead!" Thank you, Doc. Let us know if anything changes.

  • Massacre Suspect: "I Deserve A Medal": While I'm not claiming any expertise on Norwegian criminal law, I'm reckoning that with utterances like that, the insanity defense is pretty much a slam dunk now. He'll be on a diet of pancakes and flounder while serving out one of those stiff European sentences of six or eight years.

  • Romney Urges Supporters To Protest Birth Control Rule: Look, if you get a job mopping floors or slinging hash in the cafeteria at Mackerel Snapper U., you should not be shocked to find that there aren't any condom vending machines in the bathrooms or coverage for contraceptives on your group health plan. Go across town to Secular Tech and you won't have to worry about the popery in the first place, but don't go getting the government involved.

22 comments:

docjim505 said...

Tam - He'll be on a diet of pancakes and flounder while serving out one of those stiff European sentences of six or eight years.

Pretty much. It seems that, if one MUST be a criminal, Scandanavia is the place to be. "Oh, you need to show up in prison some time this year. If you really, really can't make it for some reason, though, just give us a ring; we'll keep your cell aired for you. By the way, would you prefer a forest view or a lake view from your window?

bluesun said...

If they served lutefisk, it would probably count as cruel and unusual...

Wayne said...

He'll probably get lefsa and krumkake at Christmas

Anonymous said...

I wanted to go to Mackerel Snapper U but my SAT scores were too low. Ended up going to Vatican State.

Gerry

Rick C said...

"Go across town to Secular Tech and you won't have to worry about the popery in the first place, but don't go getting the government involved."

I don't think those words, arranged that way, carry any meaning to Obama's ilk and supporters. Just a bunch of sounds...

Anonymous said...

You realize that using the term Mackerel Snapper is akin to the word beginning with N that shall not (and should not) be named.

I do remember my Mother crying her eyes out over being called a Mackerel Snapper by a co-worker she had to face every day. It was on Ash Wednesday. She had attended Mass before going to work.

Sure she does not have the right to not be insulted by ignorant mid-Western white trash. I know that. She knew it too, but it did not diminish her pain.

In debate, slurs are non-starters. They divide, build walls and then all hope of communication is lost.

I would certainly not want to stand at the side of someone who would so thoughtlessly (and I would bet, remorselessly) insult my good Mother. No matter our congruent views with respect to the Constitution, there is now a wall.

dave said...

Anon...
...you're new here, aren't you?

Tam said...

Anon 1:48,

"Sure she does not have the right to not be insulted by ignorant mid-Western white trash."

You forgot "no-count". It's "ignorant mid-Western no-count white trash".

Stuart the Viking said...

Wow anony-mouse, talk to the wall? Geesh, what are you? Two?

On the subject of racial, religous, and slurs of whatever sort. I have been preaching for many years that these things only have the power that you GIVE them. When mean-ol-guy at work called A-mouse's mom a Mackerel Snapper, she didn't just cry. She also handed that asshole POWER over her (if only the power to make her cry, which is more power than it would seem on the surface). All because he pointed out that, maybe, she eats fish (on Friday I assume)? Where is the sense in that?

I grew up poor on a small farm. Not third world poor or anything, but my father was a coal miner and when he was on strike or the mine was shut down for months at a time sometimes, we ate we grew because that was all we had. My friends, who's fathers were also coal miners, didn't always fare as well and I remember feeling bad for them seeing what little they had to bring for lunch at school.

Needless to say, I've never been a popular person, and for a while I was called everything that could possibly apply to a kid in that situation, but eventually, I was left alone because the names didn't have the effect that they were looking for. White trash dirt farmer? "Yep, guess that's me" I would say. Then I would go home and eat Steak, Potatoes, Tomatoes, Carrots, and just about any other yummy thing my mind could dream up because we "White trash dirt farmers" pretty much by definition grew some really good stuff on our farm.

s

Anonymous said...

Coming from a long line of mackerel snappers I enjoyed your morning snarkiness.

My mom drew the line at shanty Irishman. When a nun called me that in 3rd grade for having an untucked shirt, I thought blood would be spilled. Sister Mohra sense slaughter and retreated with great haste before my mom caught up with her.

Gerry

ravenshrike said...

Dammit, I need to join some group that gets the kick ass insults. Right now all I can get called is honkey, geek, and nerd. It's fucking depressing. I can't even qualify for four eyes anymore.

Stuart the Viking said...

ravenshrike, I know... right?

When I was married to my first wife and living in Tenn. at least I could rely on being called a "Nigger lover" once in a while during the summer. It felt hollow though because my first wife was only a Mexican who loved to lay out in the sun a lot.

Since she left... nothing. What's a guy to do?

s

rickn8or said...

Lost in the butt-hurted-ness about Tam's slang for Catholic was Obamney's "support".

It all smells a little too much like "Let's you and him fight."

Lanius said...


Pretty much. It seems that, if one MUST be a criminal, Scandanavia is the place to be. "Oh, you need to show up in prison some time this year. If you really, really can't make it for some reason, though, just give us a ring; we'll keep your cell aired for you. By the way, would you prefer a forest view or a lake view from your window?

8:39 AM, February 07, 2012

Funnily enough, here you folks remind me of Bill O'Reilly and his schtick on how drug decriminalisation has created anarchy in Netherlands...

Somehow, the Dutch noticed, after which one cheeky bugger posted a video on youtube relating how various crime statistics are far lower in Netherlands, and that curiously enough, even though pot is mostly legal there, only half as much people as in the US smoke it. I believe the same would be found with prostitution statistics, teen pregnancies, STD rates and the like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8bc_ZyORbM

And although it's true Scandinavian prisons are comfy, they're still prisons, and people like Anders McButtersson are gonna be locked up forever.

Twenty years is mandatory sentence for premeditated murder, but a judge can prevent his release indefinitely on grounds of public safety..

Anders isn't a schizophrenic like for example that nut who shot Giffords. That guy was booted out of ufo forum for being too nutty and told to seek psychiatric help..

He's just a garden variety narcissist..

Tam said...

Lanius,

Your bland, humorless literalism has long since bored me. Isn't there someplace you'd rather be?

TimP said...

"... but don't go getting the government involved."

Next you'll be telling me that I can't get a job at a Muslim company and then get the government involved if they refuse to pay for my work lunch at Bacon, Boose, and Muhammad Jokes.

Or if I was a repressed homosexual I couldn't get a job with the ACLU and expect them to pay for my psychological treatment to "cure" my homosexuality.

What's the world coming to when I can't force my employers to pay for things they find morally repulsive just because I want them to?

docjim505 said...

Lanius,

I'm sorry; what's your point? That lax / nonexistent laws against drug use and prostitution result in LESS drug use and prostitution? That cushy prisons, because they are still prisons, are perfectly acceptable deterents to crime?

I suppose that I should note that I'm a libertarian and don't generally support laws that tell people how to live their lives: if somebody wants to pay to have sex with a hooker who swaps needles with all her (ahem) coworkers, that's none of my business.

On the other hand, my view on punishment for crimes is somewhat draconian, verging on the medieval: a quick, clean hanging is the best that a violent felon ought to hope for. For especially detestable crimes, burning at the stake has a lot to recommend it.

Kristopher said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristopher said...

Anon: 1:48:

Is that the best you have got? A long diatribe about an obsolete creed based slur? One that is obviously used in irony?

Of course, you deftly ignore the fact that Obama is ordering a religious institution to do something it considers a deadly sin.

So you try to deflect attention from this absolutely despicable behavior by the President of the United States by whining about "mackerel snapper"? Especially when any devout catholic would agree with her basic premise in the statement in question?

Go get a real catholic to bash Tam for that statement ... and not some leftard pretend victim like you.

staghounds said...

Lighten up, Francis Xavier.

Chris said...

Let's all give a big hand to our bestest buddy and big toe, staghounds.

Kristopher said...

And ya know ... Plan B costs, what, $20?

Couldn't this have been settled by giving these religious orgs the option of giving their employees a $240/year raise instead?