Thursday, May 23, 2013

I just saw a thing...

...where they let you zip line over some alligators in Florida, and I swear to H.L. Mencken that my very first thought was "Is the harness fastened so that it needs some special tool to unlatch? Or is it a quick-release buckle, wide open for someone to commit a very exotic and YouTube-worthy suicide?"

(Bobbi: "The alligators have rubber teeth.")

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Does it matter what type of teeth the alligator have?

Do you not die by drowning?

Shootin' Buddy

Stuart the Viking said...

I have been told that way back when that place first opened, they had the raised walkways but didn't even have handrails. The handrails were put in when someone let their toddler walk along by herself and she fell off... never to be seen again.

As it is, the handrails are there so you (probably) can't fall in accidentally (wire mesh covers from the walkway to the handrail), but it would be easy to climb over and jump right in if that is the death you are wanting. I haven't seen where they put in the zip line (haven't been there for a while), but I suspect that someone hopping into the water from the walkway would be more likely to get videoed.

s

Daniel Watters said...

"Lucky for you this is just a warning gator. Next one won't be corked."

Bubblehead Les. said...

Evolution in Action, perhaps?

Joel said...

Alligators, at least the ones in Florida, aren't usually all that aggressive toward things bigger than they are. So this is mostly the appearance of danger rather than its reality.

Of course if you land on one's back and it wasn't expecting that, your mileage may painfully vary.

Tam said...

Be careful, Joel, for you are treading on my dreams. :p

Ferret said...

Anyone falling from the zip line will probably have no trouble from the alligators unless for some reason, they somehow resemble a yappy little handbag-sized dog.

Stuart the Viking said...


Tam: Don't worry. They have some gators there that are definitely bigger than you.

Ferret: HAHA! Gator bait!

s

Billll said...

This should be a postgraduate-worthy science experiment: Toss in one of those Swedish Ethiopians and let's find out.

Divemedic said...

Gatorland is right down the street from me. They have the Screamin' Gator Zip line.
http://www.gatorland.com/tours_screamin_gator_2.shtml

Stuart:
I have been going to that place since the '70's. It opened in 1949, but I am not aware of any child ever being eaten at the park.
I was there (as a firefighter) when the place caught fire in 2006.
http://s726.photobucket.com/user/fokker416/media/Grab%20Bag/Gatorland022.jpg.html

maverick11 said...

Petted one like a kitten off the boardwalk a few years back... but acourse he had a big ole fish in his mouth at the time and didn't think a whole lot of my hand. Canon IS lenses give you a whole lot more courage than anyone oughta have. I also didn't have enough coffee... I got the pic lyin' (?) around somewhere.

Borepatch said...

It's an IQ test. Even better, it's a business model where they get the low IQ to *pay* to take the test.

And double props to anyone who says "hold mah beer".

I'm not normally one to, err, disparage the redneck impulse, but this seems like the exception that proves the rule.*

* Yeah, I know I used that wrong ...

The Great and Powerful Oz said...

Half price for Democrats? Do the accept EBT cards?

Ok, I'm feeling unusually snarky this evening as well.

Stuart the Viking said...

Divemedic,

That tidbit was relayed to me by someone who lived in the area at that time. That, of course, doesn't mean it is fact. Unfortunately, he died a few years ago so I can't go back and ask if he had first hand knowledge or if he was repeating rumor.

s