Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Overheard in the Office...

The TeeWee announcer down the hall is talking approvingly about the Orwellian measures being enacted in the Capital District to protect the annual Hunger Games from terr'ists.
TV: "They will be scanning license plates all over the site, looking for people on the terrorist watch list. Of course, no backpacks. All trucks entering the area will be inspected to make sure they don't contain any weapons or dirty bombs!"

Me: "'Who's a dirty bomb? Who's a dirty, dirty bomb? Who's daddy's nasty, dirty little bomb?'"

15 comments:

Matt said...

Only clean bombs allowed. Notice has also gone out to all potential suicide bombers that they are required to wear clean underwear and socks.

doubletrouble said...

I love it when you talk like that. 8^)

Ed said...

The ban on bags should challenge those who need to change children's diapers. Perhaps those unchanged diapers will be the real "dirty bombs".

Goober said...

Ed FTW!

mikee said...

I have been watching news reports with the thought that there is, somewhere back in the news director's office, a large whiteboard grid listing all possible means of terrorist attack, dates, and names of those holding the bets on each combination, with a large amount of money going to the "winner" of the betting pool.

The reporters seem just way too eager to report the disaster that seems oh so likely to occur, rather like Dan Rather noting with a grim smile that a tropical depression in the Gulf of Mexico is increasing to hurricane force and heading toward Galveston.

Boat Guy said...

Those news jackals probably think that a dirty bomb is as you refer to.
Kinda like charging that rooshian with "Weapons of mass destruction" for fairly simple bomb-making materials. I guess by that standard we'll have to reclassify frag grenades as such

Douglas Hester said...

And of course, said terrorists will no doubt be driving their own personal Toyota Corolla for the license reader to pick out.

Douglas Hester said...

And of course, said terrorists will no doubt be driving their own personal Toyota Corolla for the license reader to pick out.

ISH (Mininerd) said...

Okay, now I need to add "Dirty Bomb and Naughty EOD Tech" to the mental rolodex.

Anonymous said...

It's not a real threat until it has a name.

Russian officials are on the look out for Dirty Bomb Natasha!

Gerry

Jayson said...

I took that as terrorists having license plates attached to them.

Goober said...

"And of course, said terrorists will no doubt be driving their own personal Toyota Corolla for the license reader to pick out"

You don't think that they'd risk stealing a car, do you? I mean, that's a felony!

This is why I think that making assault weapons illegal will totally work, too, because people bent on mass murder don't want to get a felony rap in the process, do they?

Robin said...

That was hilarious, Tamara.

Ken said...

@Matt: Underwear will be worn on the outside, so we can check.

Also: Everyone under the age of sixteen years old...is now sixteen years old.

Brad K. said...

Dirty bombs are actually fairly simple to address.

Like changing a diaper, there are now flushable moist wipes, safe for septic tanks, to use.

Make a first pass with the traditional dry toilet paper, then remove one of the moist wipes from the closed container (close it tightly, and take care to avod smearing anything . . untoward . . on the container). With care, the single layer of moist wipe will cover the hand, and after an initial pass, can be folded in half if a second pass is needed to assure personal cleanliness.

If needed, an additional folding and pass can tidy up, without any . . um, smears . . on the hand used to perform the personal cleanup.

Then -- flush, wash hands, and voiler! no more dirty bum . . er dirty bomb! And, specifically, *without* Homeland Security or BATFE reports, surveillance, intervention, or resort to the No-Fly list.