QotD: Hold The Pickles Hold The Lettuce Edition...

I often lament the "Value Meal" nature of contemporary American politics. You know what I mean by "Value Meal": You're driving around, you've got a soda or cup of coffee or whatever, and you pull into the drive thru and tell the attendant you'd like a Tasty McSammich.

"Would you like to add fries and a drink?"

"Nah, I'm good. Just gimme the sandwich."

"It's actually cheaper if you order the Value Meal."

"No, thank you; I don't want fries, and I have a drink. I'd just like the sandwich, please."

Now think of the political version of this:

"Welcome to McGoppers*!"

"Yeah, can I please get a McGunRights sandwich with low taxes, hold the wiretapping?"

"Would you like to add prayer in schools and a ban on gay marriage, and make it a Value Meal?"

"Nah, I'm good. Just gimme the sandwich."

And, in the unlikely event that you get just the sandwich, they've screwed up your order and it's got wiretapping on it.

Oleg brilliantly expressed the reason I keep trying to order at that particular drive-thru (and how did I miss it at the time?):

"As an aside, the conservative side isn’t above trying to restrict dissemination of knowledge either. I designate gun control as the more pressing problem because it would easier to face hordes of right-winders with a rifle in hand than to face hordes of left-wingers with nothing but a condom for a weapon."

*I'm more prone to try McGoppers because none of the local DemoKing franchises even have low taxes on the menu, and no matter how many times you ask them to hold the war, they put it on your sandwich anyway.
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