But instead of a routine pirate attack—oh, Portland—they discovered an armored man who claimed he was a High Elf.and then went on to ruin that masterpiece of dry wit with an elbow nudging "Get it? He was on drugs" explanatory sentence.
He was at least half right.
If you chew your reader's food for them, dude, next thing you know, they'll want you to rub their throat to help them swallow.
.
Guess they don't 'think' the reader can puzzle it out on their own...
ReplyDeleteGiven that the reporter was able to come up with the atyical snarkery, I suspect the "help" of an unseen editor in this.
ReplyDeleteI must say, it is refreshing to see that other amorphous groupings of citizens also experience the urge to proclaim, "Stop Helping Me".
This is almost a companion piece to your previous "Clutch the pearls" entry. A possible sword epidemic in the making? Maybe the high elf is Patient Zero.
ReplyDeleteas my Dad the write once said, "never fall into the trap of over explaining".
ReplyDeleteThe elf dude's got nothing on John Cleese. He attacked a car with a small tree once.
ReplyDeleteHey, he 'self identified' as a High Elf. By their standards...
ReplyDeleteIt's Gawker.
ReplyDeleteBelow the lowest common denominator. I'm sure the author would have needed to have it 'splained to him.
"Bass [...] writes fantasy novels under the name Konrad McKane. Last time he dropped acid, he turned into a dragon."
ReplyDeleteSome people just see dragons on acid. But the real question is, are the fantasy novels any good?
This is why I don't go into town...
ReplyDeleteGawker readers aren't exactly the cream of intellect.
ReplyDeleteThus, Gawker readers.
From the original article's comments:
ReplyDelete"One does not simply drive into Mordor in a BMW"
Unless you are Tam driving west and in a hurry ...
ReplyDeleteHey I'm glad for the clarification.
ReplyDeleteAt first I thought the guy was a sober elf. Maybe out minding his own business, about to turn his life around.
Right. He was a good elf, who just was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
ReplyDelete"One does not simply drive into Mordor in a BMW"
ReplyDeleteA Mercedes limo would work, with the proper disguise. You need two flags with the Eye of Sauron flying from front bumper, a proper uniform on the driver, and a Nazgul in the back seat.
It's Gawker. Gawker is terrible.
ReplyDelete