tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15907727.post2832068111823015147..comments2023-11-10T04:17:00.492-05:00Comments on View From The Porch: If you laugh, you're a geek.Tamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07285540310465422476noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15907727.post-32140252262033893982007-06-05T14:09:00.000-04:002007-06-05T14:09:00.000-04:00Too funny!And a visual aid:http://icanhascheezburg...Too funny!<BR/><BR/>And a visual aid:<BR/>http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/06/02/im-in-ur-quantum-box/Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11701325814813208190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15907727.post-88297344719463120842007-06-05T12:10:00.000-04:002007-06-05T12:10:00.000-04:00I feel a little uncertain - am I laughing or not?D...<I> I feel a little uncertain - am I laughing or not?</I><BR/><BR/>Depends, have you been observed?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15907727.post-7988660146394957362007-06-05T02:05:00.000-04:002007-06-05T02:05:00.000-04:00It's 0700 here, so apologies for the poor quality ...It's 0700 here, so apologies for the poor quality of this one (especially after that brilliant bit of Adams)<BR/><BR/>A polygon of dimensions 1,1,1000 walks into a bar. Barkeep says "Why the long face?"Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05730143528740977761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15907727.post-46328422351855961632007-06-05T01:54:00.000-04:002007-06-05T01:54:00.000-04:00I go with Heinlein's comment about a "harmless, ne...I go with Heinlein's comment about a "harmless, necessary cat."<BR/><BR/>But for THE definitive discussion of Schrodinger and Heisenberg and cats, I refer you to Cecil Adams of The Straight Dope:<BR/><BR/>Dear Cecil:<BR/><BR/>Cecil, you're my final hope<BR/>Of finding out the true Straight Dope<BR/>For I have been reading of Schroedinger's cat<BR/>But none of my cats are at all like that.<BR/>This unusual animal (so it is said)<BR/>Is simultaneously live and dead!<BR/>What I don't understand is just why he<BR/>Can't be one or other, unquestionably.<BR/>My future now hangs in between eigenstates.<BR/>In one I'm enlightened, the other I ain't.<BR/>If you understand, Cecil, then show me the way<BR/>And rescue my psyche from quantum decay.<BR/>But if this queer thing has perplexed even you,<BR/>Then I will and won't see you in Schroedinger's zoo.<BR/>--Randy F., Chicago<BR/><BR/>Dear Randy:<BR/><BR/><I>Schroedinger, Erwin! Professor of physics!<BR/>Wrote daring equations! Confounded his critics!<BR/>(Not bad, eh? Don't worry. This part of the verse<BR/>Starts off pretty good, but it gets a lot worse.)<BR/>Win saw that the theory that Newton'd invented<BR/>By Einstein's discov'ries had been badly dented.<BR/>What now? wailed his colleagues. Said Erwin, "Don't panic,<BR/>No grease monkey I, but a quantum mechanic.<BR/>Consider electrons. Now, these teeny articles<BR/>Are sometimes like waves, and then sometimes like particles.<BR/>If that's not confusing, the nuclear dance<BR/>Of electrons and suchlike is governed by chance!<BR/>No sweat, though--my theory permits us to judge<BR/>Where some of 'em is and the rest of 'em was."<BR/>Not everyone bought this. It threatened to wreck<BR/>The comforting linkage of cause and effect.<BR/>E'en Einstein had doubts, and so Schroedinger tried<BR/>To tell him what quantum mechanics implied.<BR/>Said Win to Al, "Brother, suppose we've a cat,<BR/>And inside a tube we have put that cat at--<BR/>Along with a solitaire deck and some Fritos,<BR/>A bottle of Night Train, a couple mosquitoes<BR/>(Or something else rhyming) and, oh, if you got 'em,<BR/>One vial prussic acid, one decaying ottom<BR/>Or atom--whatever--but when it emits,<BR/>A trigger device blasts the vial into bits<BR/>Which snuffs our poor kitty. The odds of this crime<BR/>Are 50 to 50 per hour each time.<BR/>The cylinder's sealed. The hour's passed away. Is<BR/>Our pussy still purring--or pushing up daisies?<BR/>Now, you'd say the cat either lives or it don't<BR/>But quantum mechanics is stubborn and won't.<BR/>Statistically speaking, the cat (goes the joke),<BR/>Is half a cat breathing and half a cat croaked.<BR/>To some this may seem a ridiculous split,<BR/>But quantum mechanics must answer, "Tough @#&!<BR/>We may not know much, but one thing's fo' sho':<BR/>There's things in the cosmos that we cannot know.<BR/>Shine light on electrons--you'll cause them to swerve.<BR/>The act of observing disturbs the observed--<BR/>Which ruins your test. But then if there's no testing<BR/>To see if a particle's moving or resting<BR/>Why try to conjecture? Pure useless endeavor!<BR/>We know probability--certainty, never.'<BR/>The effect of this notion? I very much fear<BR/>'Twill make doubtful all things that were formerly clear.<BR/>Till soon the cat doctors will say in reports,<BR/>"We've just flipped a coin and we've learned he's a corpse."'<BR/>So saith Herr Erwin. Quoth Albert, "You're nuts.<BR/>God doesn't play dice with the universe, putz.<BR/>I'll prove it!" he said, and the Lord knows he tried--<BR/>In vain--until fin'ly he more or less died.<BR/>Win spoke at the funeral: "Listen, dear friends,<BR/>Sweet Al was my buddy. I must make amends.<BR/>Though he doubted my theory, I'll say of this saint:<BR/>Ten-to-one he's in heaven--but five bucks says he ain't."<BR/></I><BR/><BR/>--CECIL ADAMSAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15907727.post-67878370809169380312007-06-04T21:55:00.000-04:002007-06-04T21:55:00.000-04:00Yeah, I thought is was funny. But I am a bit warp...Yeah, I thought is was funny. But I am a bit warped anyway.<BR/><BR/>Mr FixitMr. Fixithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15504277932727865725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15907727.post-58146040294089819192007-06-04T21:00:00.000-04:002007-06-04T21:00:00.000-04:00"Heisenberg slept somewhere nearby."Most of what I..."Heisenberg slept somewhere nearby."<BR/><BR/>Most of what I "know" about Heisenberg and Schroedinger I got from Robert Heinlein and Walter Jon Williams.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15907727.post-17017380507478757702007-06-04T20:21:00.000-04:002007-06-04T20:21:00.000-04:00Heisenberg got pulled over by a highway patrolman....Heisenberg got pulled over by a highway patrolman. <BR/>"Do you know how fast you were going?" <BR/>"No, but I know where I am."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15907727.post-57427177344459009802007-06-04T20:12:00.000-04:002007-06-04T20:12:00.000-04:00I found pdb's joke funnier.I found pdb's joke funnier.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15907727.post-42980082752567477862007-06-04T19:40:00.000-04:002007-06-04T19:40:00.000-04:00Two hydrogen atoms are walking down the street. S...Two hydrogen atoms are walking down the street. Suddenly, one stops!<BR/><BR/>"Holy shit, I've lost an electron!" says the first one.<BR/><BR/>"Damn! Are you sure?" asks the other atom.<BR/><BR/>"Yes! I'm positive!"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15907727.post-21888615314563337502007-06-04T19:17:00.000-04:002007-06-04T19:17:00.000-04:00I feel a little uncertain - am I laughing or not?I feel a little uncertain - am I laughing or not?jojosdadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06889392784207963065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15907727.post-5266261671826460322007-06-04T18:52:00.000-04:002007-06-04T18:52:00.000-04:00Had to laugh...Had to laugh...BobGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15405172215849046373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15907727.post-4785235484905493372007-06-04T17:11:00.000-04:002007-06-04T17:11:00.000-04:00I giggled madly for a minute.(As for my geekiness,...I giggled madly for a minute.<BR/><BR/>(As for my geekiness, I doubt it was ever in doubt.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15907727.post-68742114692411000382007-06-04T16:59:00.000-04:002007-06-04T16:59:00.000-04:00I started laughing as soon as I got to the name "S...I started laughing as soon as I got to the name "Schroedinger". I knew where it was headed...<BR/><BR/>Thank you!<BR/><BR/><A HREF="http://blog.joehuffman.org/" REL="nofollow">Joe</A>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15907727.post-20761755189964521392007-06-04T15:37:00.000-04:002007-06-04T15:37:00.000-04:00I laughed, therefore I am... a geek.I laughed, therefore I am... a geek.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com