I do not think that word means what you think it means.

According to Aquiles Hopkins, president of the Confederation of Associations of Agricultural Producers of Venezuela, national production currently covers only 15%–20% of the country’s consumption needs. “Socialism is what you have in Norway, in Finland,” said Hopkins during an interview in his office in Caracas. “This is an autocracy.”

No, socialism is not what you have in Norway and Finland. What you have in Norway and Finland is largely capitalism with generous social safety nets and public services supported by very high taxes on extremely productive economies (and North Sea oil revenues in the case of the former.)

This can work okay in a culture with strong social taboos against both ostentation and freeloading. How well it can continue to work with large influxes of people who don't have those same taboos remains to be seen.
.

You're probably wondering why...

...given that I have a whole tag on my blog devoted just to Hugo "Pugsley" Chavez, I didn't take note of his recent choking on his last cookie, or the cluster-bomb-target of scum and villainy that was his funeral.

I'll tell you why: His death made me sad and depressed.

I am always sad and depressed when a tyrant dies a natural death, rather than being hounded and torn by an enraged mob of his oppressed citizens, then hung from his heels in the public square to be beaten like a pinata by happy children.

That is a finale that gives me that warm, fuzzy sic semper tyrannis feeling down deep inside, not this wafting off into the never-never, veins pumped full of socialized painkillers distilled from the sweat of the toiling proletariat. There wasn't near enough screaming involved in Pugsley's curtain call.

QotD: Eat The Goose, No More Eggs Edition

Adaptive Curmudgeon on everybody's favorite South American strongman:

It looks to me like Chavez has beaten his country like a rented mule and his time is just about up.  His 13 year socialist reign has been, for want of a better word, “craptacular” for his people.  He trashed a nation in less time than most of us take to wear out a Honda Civic.

Wisht I'd wrote that.

Just when the world was getting entirely too serious...

...Pugsley shows up and lightens things up:

"I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet," Chavez said in speech to mark World Water Day.

So basically Adam Smith wiped out the little green men. Alrighty, then.

He goes on to talk about how capitalism has destroyed forests and rivers on Earth, unlike the careful stewardship of socialism, which nurtures and preserves lush natural gardens like the Black Triangle in Eastern Europe and China's growing western deserts.


(H/T to RobertaX.)

Funny, I don't feel like a Yanqui devil...

So Pugsley is threatening to cut off oil shipments to the US if Columbia attacks his country, because that would be America's fault, just like everything else bad that happens in the world. (You'd think that with him and our current President holding a core belief in common like that, our countries could come to a better understanding.) He's also threatening to "eat rocks", and perhaps to hold his breath until he turns blue.

If there is an attack from Colombia, Chavez said Sunday, Venezuela would stop supplying oil to the United States, "even if we have to eat rocks" because of the repercussions.

"That would be a response of dignity and high caliber," Chavez said.

You know, this is proof that these tinpot wog dictators really don't believe the "Evil Satan Imperialist" crap they spout about America; if we were the oil-hungry global hegemon they claim we are, we'd have been going 'round the world and walkin' the dog with Chavez already, just like we did with Saddam.

13 hours that didn't shake the world.

So Vlad the Terrible was down in Caracas yesterday, promising to help Pugsley and his oil-wealthy nation develop peaceful nuclear energy. And a space program!

Raise your hand if this makes you feel all cuddly inside.

Yeah, me neither.

Faulty math.

Remember: In the liberal mind, America became rich and powerful by invading poor countries that had nothing and stealing it from them.

Pugsley Canute.

Hugo "Pugsley" Chavez, having devalued the candy bar wrappers Venezuela's been using by way of currency, is now warning retailers against raising prices, saying there's "no reason" for anybody to do so:

In the wake of his decision to devalue Venezuela's currency, President Hugo Chavez on Sunday said he would put the military on the streets to ensure that business owners don't raise prices.

Look, Pugsley, unlike your candy bar wrappers, the value of a concrete object, such as a loaf of bread, hasn't changed. That means that if the candy bar wrappers are only worth half as much, it's going to take twice as many of them to buy the loaf of bread. I don't know how you're going to use the military to stop that. Declare war on mathematics, perhaps? Carry out airstrikes on long division?

Let's hope Barry's not taking notes. You know how he likes to sit around the Oval Office, idly scribbling "Mrs. Barack Hussein Chavez" on the back of notebooks in big, loopy cursive.

I'm lost at high finance...

So, what's all this about seizing Pugsley's money in Andorra?

He was giving it to terrorists? Buying stuff he wasn't supposed to be? Was this the Venezuelan government's cash, or was this Pugsley's private slush fund for hookers and blow and Che Guevara tee shirts? Help me out here.

Pugsley see, Pugsley do.

I guess he figures that since Washington, DC is making all these noises about nationalizing American companies, Caracas should get a piece of the action, too.

Is it just me...

...or did CNN stop just short of slipping Pugsley some tongue in this piece?

I guess they feel a lot better about getting openly moist and runny about Marxism these days...

Well, far be it from us here at VFTP Command Central to miss an opportunity to salute our jowly comrade to the south! Congratulations, Señor Pugsley, on a whole decade of inept comic opera socialism, buoyed on a tide of Yanqui petrodollars! You've survived the administration of the great devil Bush, and the effete current occupant of 1600 Penna. Avenue is obviously no threat, so get down with your bad self! Maybe Barry can loan you some ACORN help for your upcoming referendum...

Today In History: Operation Just Because.

On this day in 1989, the F-117 Nighthawk made its combat debut and the 82nd Airborne division made its first combat jump since WWII.

CNN got to make its first war theme music, too.

I wonder how often Pugsley watches that video clip?

Clowns: Pugsley, si! Ronald, no!

The jowly, super-sized Che-wannabe, who looks like he's sampled a few Big Macs in his time, goes after The Evil Golden Arches of Hegemonic Yanqui Capitalism.

Becoming a dictatorship, but only half-fast.

Pugsley's mandatory finking law was thwarted by thousands of angry marchers who took to the street in protest of attempts to shut down opposition candidates, as well as chanting against the aforementioned law that made rolling over for the national security police compulsory.

Hitler never had it so rough...

Pugsley pitches a snit.

When President Pugsley of Venezuela engaged in a bit of thievery, he figured he'd get away with it. See, he was a president, representing a government, so what you and I call thievery, he calls "nationalization".

Unfortunately for Pugsley his victim didn't take it lying down, but went to the cops. Who promptly froze about twelve billion dollars of Pugsley's ill-gotten assets. (When you're picking victims for a mugging, avoid the world's largest publicly-traded oil company. They can afford good lawyers.)

Now Pugs is stomping his foot, threatening to hold his breath until he turns blue... and threatening to cut off his own nose to spite his face the export of oil to the U.S.A. (despite most of the legal fun taking place in the UK and the Netherlands. Nobody ever said dictators were sane.) No word yet if shadowy multinationals are threatening to cut off the export of coup agitators and assassins to Venezuela.

Democracy, Si! Pugsley, No!

Unable to stuff enough ballot boxes in time, Chavez's attempt to get the voters to remove presidential term limits allow him to be Dictator-For-Life failed by Election '00 margins. With a 56% voter turnout, the raft of constitutional amendments fell short of passing by a narrow 51-49 split. What makes this impressive, however, is that in addition to the Obvious Tyranny stuff, the referendum was packed with the typical "Free Beer For Poor Folks On Tuesdays!", and it still got shot down.

cf. Vlad the Imperiler; maybe Puglsey should have asked him for some campaigning advice.

The problem with your "New Socialist Man", Pugsley...

...is that nobody wants to wear the ugly clothes.

In Venezuela, anti-Pugsley demonstrators expressed their joy at his intention to declare himself Maximum Leader For Life by throwing rocks and bottles until they were teargassed into submission.

(H/T to Insty.)

How very... American.

Ha! Look what that silly commie dictator is doing now:

CARACAS, Venezuela (CNN) -- The price of sin rose Monday in Venezuela where President Hugo Chavez is on a campaign to make Venezuelans cut back on drinking and smoking.
...
The Venezuelan government is placing a higher tax on alcohol and cigarettes in an effort to cut consumption and prevent what it views as the social, economic and moral consequences of drinking and smoking, said Jose Vielma Mora, superintendent of Seniat, the government body that oversees the collection of taxes.

Listen to those sanctimonious socialist prigs! They sound like... like...

Well, like Tennessee Governor Phil Bredesen, actually.

Pugsley makes his move.

He wants to amend the Venezuelan constitution to lengthen presidential terms and do away with term limits, but he says he doesn't want to be known as Maximum Leader For Life Chavez.

(Also, judging from some of his other requests there, if you're unfortunate enough to have anything remotely asset-like in Venezuela, you might want to get it out. Now.)

News: Our agent has failed!

The CIA mole we sent to Venezuela under the thin cover of US Ambassador has failed in his mission to destabilize the government of Pugsley and topple him. We must recall him in disgrace, and send another crafty minion of the Evil Overlord Bush.