Monday, December 26, 2005

Poetry Corner: Little Willies.

As the possessor of a somewhat morbid sense of humor, I've always had a fondness for an obscure form of Humor in Verse from early in the last century: droll little poems known as "Little Willies". Allow me to share a few of the better ones:

Willie found some dynamite.
Couldn't understand it, quite.
Curiosity never pays;
It rained Willie seven days.


Little Willie, in bows and sashes,
Fell in the fire and was burned to ashes.
Though Winter's come and days grow chilly,
Noone wants to poke up Willie.


Willie and some other brats
Licked up all the Rough-On-Rats.
Father said when Mother cried,
"Never mind, they'll die outside."


...and my personal favorite:

Willie fell down the elevator.
Wasn't found 'til six days later,
When all the neighbors sniffed "Gee whiz!"
"What a spoiled child Willie is!"


Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

31 comments:

  1. you've left out the best one!

    Willie studied chemistry
    But Willie is no more
    For what he took for H20
    Was HClO4

    -caoimhin

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  2. I told Willie 'bout the rock
    At the far end ot the dock
    He could never 'bide advise
    Guess I should have told him twice

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  3. This is close to the other: Little Willie was a chemist Little Willie is no more, What he thought was H2O, was H2SO4

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  4. The original closing line on the chemistry verse is "was H2So4". I remember reading it and several other Little Willy verses in Collier's Magazine around 1952.

    Jim

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  5. do you know eugene field's "little willie" poems?

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  6. Another:

    Willie poisoned Auntie’s tea
    Auntie died in agony
    Uncle came and looked quiet vexed
    Really Will, he said, what next.

    And a correction:

    Willie dressed in best of sashes
    Fell in the grate and burnt to ashes
    Pretty soon the room grew chilly,
    But no on liked to poke up Willie.

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  7. I was thrilled to find this sight.

    I grew up being told to "poke up Willie".

    I didn't realize there were "Willie" poems other than the fire one.

    Little Willie, all dressed in sashes
    Fell in the fire and was burned to ashes
    By and by, the room grew chilly
    But nobody wanted to poke up Willie. (that's the way I learned it)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Have been looking for the source of the Willy Lines for a long time! Ours from Grandpa differs a bit from the others:
    Little Willie in his bright red sashes
    Fell in the fire and burned to ashes
    By and by the room grew chilly
    'Cause nobody bothered to stir up Willy.
    (Thanks all!)

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  9. Little Willie on the track
    Heard the engine squeal;
    Now the engine's coming back,
    Scraping Willy off the wheel.

    ReplyDelete
  10. my favourite:

    Little Willie from the mirror
    licked the Mercury all off
    thinking in his childish manner
    it would cure his whooping cough
    at the funeral Willie's mother
    smartly said to Mrs. Brown
    'twas a chilly day for Willie
    when the Mercury went down.

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is the original passage from the book, Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes, by Col. D. Streamer, 1901:

    Billy, in one of his nice new sashes,
    Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes;
    Now, although the room grows chilly,
    I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Another Willie and the train goes:

    Willie, in a rage insane,
    Threw his head beneath the train.
    All were quite surprised to find
    How it broadened Willie's mind.

    And good advice for all:

    Dr. Joners fell in the well
    And dies without a moan.
    He should have tended to the sick
    \And left the well alone.

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  13. Into the cistern little Willie
    Pushed his little sister Lily
    Mother couldn't find her daughter
    Now we sterilize our water
    AND
    Into his family's water well
    Willie pushed his sister Nell
    She's down there yet, the water kilt her
    Now we have to use a filter.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Does anyone know if Ogden Nash wrote "Little Willy" verses? I'd heard he did. About 35 years ago, I was told two verses that differ from the others.

    Willy by the fireside
    fell into the grate and died.
    Now although the room grows chilly,
    No one has the heart to rake up Willy.

    Willy by the elevator
    wasn't found till 8 days later.
    Now the neighbors sniff, "Gee whiz,
    What a spoiled boy that Willy is!"

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  15. Here is one I remember.....

    Little Willy, feeling swell
    Pushed his sister down the well
    Mother said while drawing water...
    "it's so hard to raise a daughter!"

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  16. I'm so excited to find all these!My grandfather's version was

    "Little Willy, mad as hell,
    Pushed his sister down the well.
    Said his father, drawing water,
    "It sure is hard to raise a daughter"

    He had another that started out something like:
    Little Willy in a barrel
    Heading toward the falls,...

    Cant remember the rest! Ring a bell with anyone?

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  17. ah, it came back to me:

    Little Willie in a barrel
    Heading toward the falls.
    Said his father "Sad's the day
    When your children drift away."

    ReplyDelete
  18. When I was a boy, I had a tiny book entitled "Little Willies" which had been published in 1909Most of the poems in the book are on this web site. Here is another which I don't find here.

    Willie heard a buzz-saw buzz
    like a bike he thought it was.
    Willie's corpse is full of nicks.
    Ain't he cute: he's cut in six.

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  19. My shorthand teacher, back in the 50's, sometimes wrote Little Willy verses on the blackboard for us to translate. The first one was,
    "Willy with his curls and sashes fell into the fire and burned to ashes. Now, tho the room is getting chilly, no one wants to stir up Willy."

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  20. My Dad was great at Willy poems and used to recite them very often, always with a smile since they reminded him of his youth! Here is one which I believe has not been published:

    Little Willy on his way to Harridge
    tumbled out of the railway carriage,
    his father and mother sorrow tasted
    at seeing Willy´s ticket wasted.

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  21. In addition to some of those cited, I remember these from a school English class, probably high school circa 1950.

    Willy in a thirst for gore
    Nailed the baby to the door.
    Mother said with humor quaint,
    "Don't do that dear, you'll chip the paint."

    Little Willy with a shout
    Gouged the baby's eyeballs out,
    Stamped on them to make them pop.
    Mother said, "Now willy, stop."

    This one not from school:

    Little willy with a grin
    Drank up all his father's gin.
    Father laughed to see him plastered,
    "Go to bed, you little bastard!"

    The provenance of that one, I suspect, is much later than that of the classic ones.

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  22. My father-in-law taught me this one:

    Little Willy took the garden shears
    And cut off both of baby's ears.
    On seeing baby so unsightly
    Mother raised her eyebrows... Slighty.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I'm glad I can add another:
    Little Willie lit a rocket
    Put it in his Father's pocket
    Proudly said to Uncle Dan
    "Daddy is a travelin' man"

    ReplyDelete
  24. Little Willie, in a fit of glee
    Put radium in Grandma's tea.
    Now he finds it quite a lark
    To see her shining in the dark.

    ReplyDelete
  25. This one comes from my sainted grandmother, Ada Cheever Duffey, descendant of Ezekiel Cheever, original headmaster of the Boston Latin School, proving that good seeds can go bad:

    Little Willie, ever lovin'
    Put the baby in the oven,
    Burnt him to a crispy tan,
    Now ain't he mama's little man?

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oswald Chambers quoted it this way:

    Little Willie in best of sashes
    Fell in the fire and was burned to ashes
    Later on the room grew chilly
    But no-one cared to poke poor Willy.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Willy found some dynamite,
    couldn't understand it quite,
    curiosity never pays,
    it rained Willy's for 7 days.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Here's one I remember from my childhood, some 65 years ago.

    Little Willie in the tub,
    Little Willie rub-a-dub.
    Little Willie pulled the chain,
    Little Willie down the drain.

    -db

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  29. My grandmother (born 1888) liked "Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes, by Col. D. Streamer, 1901." The later edition I saw had cartoon illustrations. A rhyme I memorized went like this:

    Bob was bathing in the bay
    When a shark passed that way
    And punctured him in seven places,
    And he made such FUNNY faces!

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  30. Little Willie with bat and ball,
    Lined one down the schoolhouse hall.
    Through his door came Mister Hill.
    Several teeth are missing still.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Little Willie at a passing gent,
    Threw a batch of fresh cement.
    Crying, "Wait until you dry,
    then you'll be a real hard guy."

    ReplyDelete

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