Feeling whupped from my grinding schedule of too many open-to-close days, I paused behind the counter and muttered: "Gawd, I feel like a zombie!"
As twitchy co-workers turned to goggle at me, I remembered I was in a gun store, and quickly blurted "I mean tired! I feel like I'm tired! Your brains are safe!"
Remember, kids: If you're ready for Zombie Apocalypse, you're ready for anything. :)
Have you been to the Zombie Squad site? That sounds like their motto.
ReplyDeletewww.zombiehunters.org
It's worth a look.
don't forget xombies...
ReplyDeleteThe people you work with must not be very sharp. Zombies don't say "I feel like a zombie!" They say "Brains!", followed or prefaced by horrifying moans to call their fellow shambling undead.
ReplyDeleteOh and on the topic of zombies, while Max Brooks's book may be good for an entertaining read, it gets many of the particulars of zombie defense wrong.
While fresh zombies say "braiiiins", it's fairly well established that with decay, they tend to fall into the "uhhhhhhhhh" category (making them indistinguishable from some democrats and apolitical disenfranchised yoots).
ReplyDeleteWith extreme decay, they tend to say "...". However, whilst the zombie saying "..." may seem evident, always make sure of two things: one, that the zombie, however slow it may be, is actually agressive, and that the stench in the air is actually of decay and not patchouli and pot; this will help you avoid plugging max-blasted stoned hippies when not necessary.
Is the solution to the zombie problem simply to remove all digits and teeth upon initial death? Seem to simple to me.... *swat* ow Bobo, quit it, you're being a bad zombie pet. "......" Bobo, stop gumming the neighbor's skull, that's disgusting. "....."
Bobo, you stink! outside!
"....."
Thanks for the plug.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your co-workers are on thier toes. :)
"..this will help you avoid plugging max-blasted stoned hippies when not necessary. "
ReplyDeleteWhen ISN'T it necessary? =P
Hehe, Zombies... that's just silly.
ReplyDelete