Don't get this without the companion books in the series:
"The Left Lane is NOT the Cell Phone Lane" and "Slower Traffic Keep Right"
I've checked, and there is not ONE "Slower Traffic Keep Right" sign in the AR/TN/MS tri-state area, and people drive accordingly. And always in front of me.
My term for the local drivers is "T.F.O.", which is shorttalk for "Totally Frickin' Oblivious" If they can't understand turn signals, you can imagine what a total mystery merging must be to them.
If you use turn signals in Memphis, people know you're a tourist.
Well, to deal with slow people in the fast lane, you just need to get a late-model white full-size domestic sedan or SUV and de-chrome the grill. And make sure you have a mast antenna or two.
I recall a drive while I was at grad school at UTK. I had exited off the downtown bypass, and was coming up to turn on Gay Street. There were seven cars in front of me. All seven turned, and not a single one signaled. Not one.
That's Knoxville for you, so I understand Tam's point quite well. I'm sure there are other areas where drivers wouldn't have a clue if someone dumped a bushel basket of them in the passenger seat, but I'll put Knoxville up against any of them for "turn signal aphasia".
Other parts of Tennessee have the problem too, but none anywhere near as bad as Knoxville.
My favourite volume is "Checking out your blind spot _by turning your head_, so you can see the blind spot where the 80,000lb truck is approaching REAL FAST"
Moron in front of me was saved only by the truck pulling to the break down lane with inches to spare.
Oh, and he was obviously annoyed at the truck spewing gravel and rocks out at him as it tried to maintain control.
I'm always astonished that more people DONT die onthe roads.
(He didn't use the signal lights, turn his head, was driving well below the speed limit on a daylight dry interstate, and I suspect was riding his brake given the brake light's constant on-off... and was pulling into the passing lane... how did this person get by a driving test? How have they survived hitherto?)
I see you've driven in Southern Indiana.
ReplyDeleteNow if we can just get the other drivers to hang up their phones and notice the people that ARE using their turn signals...
ReplyDeleteDon't get this without the companion books in the series:
ReplyDelete"The Left Lane is NOT the Cell Phone Lane"
and
"Slower Traffic Keep Right"
I've checked, and there is not ONE "Slower Traffic Keep Right" sign in the AR/TN/MS tri-state area, and people drive accordingly. And always in front of me.
My term for the local drivers is "T.F.O.", which is shorttalk for "Totally Frickin' Oblivious" If they can't understand turn signals, you can imagine what a total mystery merging must be to them.
If you use turn signals in Memphis, people know you're a tourist.
There.
Feel better now.
Well, to deal with slow people in the fast lane, you just need to get a late-model white full-size domestic sedan or SUV and de-chrome the grill. And make sure you have a mast antenna or two.
ReplyDeleteEasy solution:
ReplyDeleteMandatory shock collars for everyone. Dial in some schlub's serial number... *ZAP*.
That will fix 'em.
I'd also like to see a "Don't Forget the Courtesy Wave, You Transplanted Yuppie Douche Bag" hit the shelves.
ReplyDeleteAs if they can read.
ReplyDeleteI recall a drive while I was at grad school at UTK. I had exited off the downtown bypass, and was coming up to turn on Gay Street. There were seven cars in front of me. All seven turned, and not a single one signaled. Not one.
ReplyDeleteThat's Knoxville for you, so I understand Tam's point quite well. I'm sure there are other areas where drivers wouldn't have a clue if someone dumped a bushel basket of them in the passenger seat, but I'll put Knoxville up against any of them for "turn signal aphasia".
Other parts of Tennessee have the problem too, but none anywhere near as bad as Knoxville.
My wife and I just returned from a weeklong vacation tour in Egypt.
ReplyDeleteI will never complain about US drivers again. (okay, at least not for a week)
The signalling devices of choice are horns and flashing your headlights. Traffic lights are mere decoration. Lane markers are suggestions only.
If you ever go I highly recommend taking tour busses and taxis. It's the only way you'll live.
Great fun though.
My favourite volume is "Checking out your blind spot _by turning your head_, so you can see the blind spot where the 80,000lb truck is approaching REAL FAST"
ReplyDeleteMoron in front of me was saved only by the truck pulling to the break down lane with inches to spare.
Oh, and he was obviously annoyed at the truck spewing gravel and rocks out at him as it tried to maintain control.
I'm always astonished that more people DONT die onthe roads.
(He didn't use the signal lights, turn his head, was driving well below the speed limit on a daylight dry interstate, and I suspect was riding his brake given the brake light's constant on-off... and was pulling into the passing lane... how did this person get by a driving test? How have they survived hitherto?)