Working six days a week, I have come to relish Fridays for their relaxed dress code. Oh, don't get me wrong, I get to wear jeans and tee shirts every day, but in a weird reversal from most of my gun-nut friends, my day off is the one day I get to wear a tee that isn't gun-related.
Saturday through Thursday my wardrobe is an endless parade of EOTech, Magpul, SIG, Beretta, Springfield Armory, and (of course) Coal Creek Armory tee shirts. Friday is when I get to have fun. There're my various beer company tees, a purloined staff tee shirt from a night club in ATL with the motto "We Install And Service Hangovers", a cool tee my neighbor brought me from the Harley Davidson dealership in Hachinohe, Japan (surely a symbol of Capitalism's crushing victory as much as a Moscow 'Hard Rock Cafe' shirt), one that says "Books. Cats. Life is Good.", my Ministry: Jesus Built My Hotrod and Bladerunner tees which are my perpetual faves, and my tee from The Onion with the blurb "Kitten thinks of nothing but murder all day" complete with an adorable picture of the homicidal kitten in question.
The piece de resistance of my tee shirt collection, however, is one from the famous "Body Farm" at the University of Tennessee. There's a grinning skull, white-on-black, on the front amidst the words "National Forensics Academy". On the back, in letters done in the dripping 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' font, is the blurb "The Harvard of Hellish Violence".
If you don't think wearing that will get your waiter at the local fern bar to do the step'n'fetchit to get you fed and out the door with a quickness, get your hands on one and try it for yourself. :)
My favorite is a t-shirt from Le Grande Boucherie Des Cajuns (pig killing) in St. Martinville, La. It has a large drawing of a smiling swine face on the back with the caption "Just chillin' at the killin'". It strikes peta-types deaf and, well, dumber.
ReplyDeleteMethinks you owe us at least one photo of these raptures in cotton knit. My vote goes for the body farm joint.
ReplyDeleteIt's always nice to find another collector of unusual t-shirts; I probably had better than thirty in rotation at any given time, including the ten or so with dead blues musicians on them. However, my favorites were the the shirts with the oddball messages, like the one with a line drawing of a Dali-esque fellow eating Cheerios and a caption that read 'Salvador Dali eating a bowl of surreal'. Or the shirt from the Draught Horse pub in Austin with the picture of an anthropomorphized alcoholic train engine on it and the caption 'The little engine that didn't give a rat's ass either way'. Or... But you get the idea.
ReplyDeleteJames
My all time fave 'piss of the lib-tard soccer mom' T-shirt is my Marine Corps Scout/Sniper shirt. It includes a skull and crossed rifles on back and the unit logo for the 3/1 Scout Sniper BLT complete with Hitleresque SS on the front.
ReplyDeleteI prefer collecting oddball cycling jerseys. Not the ubiquitous team jerseys that proliferate, but stuff no one else has like my Arrogant Bastard Ale, Cycle Messenger World Champion, and even my Freightliner jersey.
"Books. Cats. Life is Good."
ReplyDeleteMy son wants to be reincarnated as the cat in a college town used bookstore. He can't imagine anyone who has a better life.
As for cycling jerseys, I want one which advertises anabolic nutritional supplements.
My favorite is the one I have on. A very faded maroon one that has a skull & crossbones on the back with "The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves"
ReplyDeleteI love this one. I always get entertaining reactions when I wear it.
ReplyDeleteAnother favorite has a large blue pixelized pacman ghost with the text "EAT ME". I got an nice irritated look by a woman at the courthouse when I wore that to jury duty last week.
Bladerunner t-shirt? where????
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