Coworker: "Are paychecks here yet?"
Me: "Nope, not 'til tomorrow."
C: "Oh, okay."
M: "You know who I blame?"
C: "No, who?"
M: "The patriarchy."
C: "Me too."
M: "You can't. You're part of the patriarchy."
C: "I am? Then how come I'm... Wait, how come you're my boss?"
M: "It's a global system of oppression. Or something. Stop asking complicated questions."
Next time I'm blaming the Albanians. They're unlikely to put up much of a fight, being several thousand miles away and all.
My uncle is a missionary in Albania. He tells me all the time not to trust those people. You know. Shifty.
ReplyDeleteYou gotta feel sorry for the Albanians; their economy spent fifty years producing nothing but concrete pillboxes and plaster busts of Enver Hoxha, neither of which are in big demand in the post-Cold War global market.
ReplyDeleteOrganized crime, however, is always a growth industry and easy to get into on the ground floor.
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ReplyDeleteStop disturbing my neighbors by making me laugh so hard.
ReplyDeleteOn second thought, please don't.
Yeah, that patriarchy stuff confuses me too.
ReplyDeleteIf all the prehistoric dudes spontaneously huddled up one day and decided to collectively enslave and oppress all those beardless and phallically-challenged little bleeders in their midst, why can't the modern matriarchs take a hint from that ancient and obvious maneuver and catch all their hairy dick-swingers asleep in their beds?
Could it be that prehistoric human males naturally formed dominance hierarchies for the collective and coordinated use of deadly weapons - and that females didn't? Nah. They just snuck up on the more capable girls in an act of (pre)historic treachery for which they must never be forgiven nor forgotten.
Of course, the last time the Abanians got all riled up about us barbarians, they set about reconquering the Mediterranian.
ReplyDeleteJustinian the Great.
And between the "Albanians" and the barbarians, they killed off about 90% of the population of the Italian peninsula in the Gothic Wars.
ReplyDeleteNow if the girls of the day had just had the humane sense to seize matriarchal control both of the Byzantine Empire and of the Kingdom of the Ostrogoths, the world's Italian population would be a multiple of what it is today.