Writing here at View From The Porch is easy. I stagger out of bed in the mornings, toddle off to my morning ablutions, jostle VFTP Command Central into life, and go check the news sites for something to make fun of. CNN rarely disappoints, and if I don't see a nice hanging curve belt-high over the middle of the plate from them, I'm off to Fox, then Reuters.
This morning CNN didn't offer much in the way of funny, except for an article that was ostensibly about a major al-Qaeda honcho getting smoked in Iraq but which was really two sentences on the dead hadji and ten paragraphs on US casualty reports (big surprise there), so I went over to Fox. There, I hit the motherlode almost immediately. It seems that some family in Arkansas has managed to generate spawn number seventeen. Oh, goody! When you have a generic, whitebread, suburbanite, Protestant family that has enough kids for their home schooling efforts to include intramural softball, the snark should flow as freely as anti-Hillary innuendo from the Obama campaign.
Fired up by the temptation of such an easy target (this should be like going after Polled Herefords with a scoped elk rifle), the snide comments boiled from my brain to my lips to my fingertips. Keys clacking, I glanced back at the picture in the open browser window and...
...the kids were all smiling. None of them looked malnourished or sported shiners. They were all well-dressed. Mrs. Duggar didn't appear to be chained to the bed. I stopped typing.
What the hell business of mine is it how many kids these people have, if they can feed them and clothe them and keep them happy? I may find some of their beliefs silly and they may think some of mine are heathen, but Michelle's not making nasty posts about me. Why should I go after her? What gives me the right? So I held back on the snark.
After seeing this whine-fest from hand-wringing bedwetter Mark Morford, I knew I'd made the right choice. If this dickhead is complaining about their hairstyles, I know I'm on the side of the angels by keeping my snark to myself. At least if I had snarked, it would have been coherent and funny...
Curious.
ReplyDeleteI've spent a lot of time around home-school families (was taught by my parents myself, from 2nd to roughly 10th grade. Mostly self-educated during 11-12th grades, and studied long and hard at the University afterwards...).
Anyway, I've heard people say that my family (grand total of 5 kids, born over a period of 18 years) is big. I always say that there are bigger families out there.
Guess you just proved the point.
Love the joke about the intra-mural softball league!
I read Morford's screed last night, purely by accidental (serendipitous?)clickitymouse work. He sure seemed to spend a lot of time and effort on the condition and status of her cooter.
ReplyDeleteLike he's ever seen one.
Regards,
Rabbit.
"Like he's ever seen one."
ReplyDeleteJust because I studiously avoided that particular shot as being too easy doesn't mean I didn't laugh like hell when someone else took it. :)
Well, 2.3 kids per family, average, to maintain a population.
ReplyDeleteHow many you got, Tam? Me, just one. Present wife, none. Other folks I know, one or two.
SOMEBODY's gotta do the heavy lifting!!!
:D, Art
My ONLY issue with how many kids they have is that it can't be healthy for her. I've watched the Discovery specials on the Duggar family, and she was under strict watch on this pregnancy because her uterus is in danger of going 'splodey. I mean, it's her choice, but damn...her husband needs to invest in some Trojans or something before he inadvertantly kills his wife. :-P
ReplyDeleteThey're home-schooled, and they work on a buddy-system, so no one's ever left out even when Mom can't deal with them individually for a while. They're exceedingly well-adjusted. AND they have NO DEBT AT ALL. Craziness. Mad props.
Desertrat says:
ReplyDeleteSOMEBODY's gotta do the heavy lifting!!!
Kids are what happens pretty much when you don't make any plans at all.
The real heavy lifting comes with the wholesale subsidy of what it costs to raise 'em.
Democracy is two breeders and a child-free-by-choice person voting on how to "fairly" pay for all the education and other government services the youngsters need.
Remember, the children are our future, so everyone needs to chip in.
"and she was under strict watch on this pregnancy because her uterus is in danger of going 'splodey."
ReplyDeleteOf course, it's her uterus; something liberals, conservatives, and that prick Mr. Morford would all do well to remember. ;)
If she wants to 'splode it, it's a free country.
Amusingly, the rant you linked to included the endlessly amusing line, "Where is the ... pro-sex flip side?"
ReplyDeletePro-sex. Pro-sex? Pro-sex?!?!!
... As the opposite of what the Duggans are doing?
!!!
One does not give birth to 17 children without enjoying sex at least a little bit, a point which seems to have escaped the bitterly crude Morford.
But a liberal columnist like Morford cannot let go of his most cherished prejudicial notions even when a couple so ... noticeably ... shatters the "Christians all hate sex" stereotype as the Duggans have done. And he expects his readers to nod right along with him as he explores the frightening depths of his own cherished bias.
Meanwhile, Tamara is right: it ain't anyone else's business how many kids these folks have. They're not - as Standard Mischief just suggested - a drag on the system, being debt-free and all (can you say as much, you childless credit-card user reading this?). They're homeowners, which means they're helping to pay for a local school system they don't even use. They're gainfully employed and they pay taxes.
And meanwhile, check out Morford's rant again. Note the multiple uses of the word white, as if skin of one particular color is bad whereas skin of every other possible color would be just fine. Ask yourself, would this man panic and write a vitriol-laden screed about a very typical third-world family with 13 or 14 or 18 children? Would he publically complain about the number of homogenous, űber-brown or űber-black children being produced in Mexico or in Africa? No...?
And finally we come to the real source of his antipathy: simple fear. He is afraid that these people are going to win the culture war, just because there are more of them than there are of the funky progressive intellectually curious fashion-forward pagans he admires.
Fashion-forward? As a reason to breed??
Wow.
The only reason people having bajillions of kids bugs me is because my city has a four pet limit. I think people should be able to have as many pets as they can provide for, much like kids. If a person can feed, keep clean, discipline, and pay vet bills for six or seven pets, I say they should be allowed to have them.
ReplyDeleteThey're not - as Standard Mischief just suggested - a drag on the system, being debt-free and all (can you say as much, you childless credit-card user reading this?).
ReplyDeleteYes, I see that these kids, as opposed to most of the teeming masses, are homeschooled. My comment was directed to Desertrat, and not the Duggar family.
And yes, I'm debt free except for the house payment. Not even a car payment for me. The house historically appreciates faster than the interest I pay on the loan (It's at least doubled in value already)
Now if you will excuse me, I need to go to work so I can afford my school district taxes.
Hate to be the piss in the pickle jar, but if you've got a house payment you can't be "debt free except...", that's cheating.
ReplyDeleteAnd given the wiener's fascination with the condition of the intersection of Homer and Main and the "pro-sex" bit, it's obvious he's got a knot in his plow line and no one to unkink it.
Wow. What do they use for a family car? One of those bendy buses?
ReplyDeleteMy wife teaches our children at home (no self-respecting anarchist would send his kids to a gov't school), but we only have two. That just because we were in our '30s when we got married, otherwise a half dozen or so would be about right IMO. More power to the Duggars.
ReplyDeleteYou hit it on the head, Tam. If they can handle it, more power to them. Four kids were enough for me and my bride, but a coupla more wouldn't have hurt. After all, somebody's got to go to work, pay taxes, and join the Marines!
ReplyDeleteMy congratulations to the proud parents!
ReplyDeleteHate to be the piss in the pickle jar, but if you've got a house payment you can't be "debt free except...", that's cheating.
ReplyDeleteEven though the housing market is slow, I'm sure I could unload the thing next week if I wanted to. All I'd have to do is deeply discount it. Even at fire-sale prices, I'd come out ahead, and that's not even counting the fact that I've gotten to live in the house for all these years too instead of paying rent. That's close enough to a liquid asset for me.
But all that is really a red herring. Please explain why, even if I was in debt up to my eyeballs, even if I managed to spend 101% percent of my income on status items to announce that I have "arrived" (plus food, housing, gas, and service on my debt.) Even with all that, could you please explain to me why it's my duty to chip in and send your damn kids to public school?
(Someone please, please try to argue that it in my best interest so that the ponzi-like scheme they call social security will chip in for my retirement)
I am, of course, the first to admit to being a provincial and narrow-minded person, but I fight against it every day. However, it doesn't surprise me that I could easily hear Moford's article being read in a high pitched lisp. He mentioned hair styles no fewer than three times and said 'homophobic' twice. This leads me to believe he has an agenda, or at least an axe to grind.
ReplyDeleteI also agree that he needs an editor - badly.
Our little girl is all growed up...
ReplyDelete;)