The toaster oven here at VFTP Command Central is hard at work on a couple of onion bagels, and the cream cheese, smoked salmon, and capers are standing by. They say that it's okay to eat fish because they don't have feelings, but with the way that smoked salmon tastes, I wouldn't care if it screamed all the way to the table and struggled going down. If people tasted liked smoked salmon, I'd be Hannibal frickin' Lecter.
Maybe my favorite sandwich after the divine reuben. It's too bad that the best examples of both are probably to be found in a city that physically causes me to break out in hives.
(Pulled pork BBQ would be third in my sandwich pantheon.)
nummy!
ReplyDeleteCan't promise Reubens, but we got some good salmon up here to you know. Smoked and otherwise.
:)
Dunno about a reuben, but you can get a decent Philly cheesesteak, believe it or not, from the little open street shops on the strip in Gatlinburg.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure deer, hogs and cows have feelings and I don't give a diddle of a damn. They can evolve themselves up some bad taste or keep right on being eaten.
ReplyDeleteAnd at this point I'd like to thank hickory and oak trees, which cook and season the above so well. Their sacrifices shan't be forgotten.
The toaster oven here at VFTP Command Central is hard at work on a couple of onion bagels, and the cream cheese, smoked salmon, and capers are standing by. They say that it's okay to eat fish because they don't have feelings, but with the way that smoked salmon tastes, I wouldn't care if it screamed all the way to the table and struggled going down.
ReplyDeleteFunny, you don't look Jewish [snark OFF}
Philadelphia? Try a reuben on dark rye with German red kraut, washed down with a pint of double-bock...
ReplyDeleteI've heard that, if smoked properly, people taste like bacon.
ReplyDeleteWe ain't called "long pig" for nothin'...
ReplyDeleteOa,
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. The day that a meat animal stands up and says "Don't eat me!" then... I won't.
Heh, but if his buddy's silent then fair game :)
Reminds me of last night's King of the Hill episode... Hank's at an organic farm, looking over a field of grazing cows, and says reverently... "Delicious".
That episode made me sooo hungry.
ReplyDeleteAlso when the co-op made a profit, and they figured they must've done something wrong; that was funny.
Ever had a good Cuban sandwich?
ReplyDelete(Good is almost always denoted by:
* The cook rolls r's
* There's nasty articles on the wall about Castro
* Lots of pictures of Cuba on the wall
* If you say "Yeah, I heard Castro died an hour ago", everybody shifts to Spanish Speed and thanks God for delivering on their prayers.)
"They say that it's okay to eat fish because they don't have feelings, but with the way that smoked salmon tastes, I wouldn't care if it screamed all the way to the table and struggled going down. If people tasted liked smoked salmon, I'd be Hannibal frickin' Lecter."
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's because I just finished reading about Heather Mills latest nonsense rantings about how everyone should become vegan, but that made me laugh my ass off. XD
He he...
ReplyDeletewhen I get home tonight, I have waiting:
A big bowl of pulled pork from a tenderloin I slow roasted all night long. It's been marinating in hickory BBQ sauce for about 24 hours now.
I might use a fork, if I have the patience.
Can't do fish. At all.
ReplyDeleteBlech.
And I'd eat a reuben if it had roast beef or something. Don't like corned beef, either.
Is something wrong with me?!
Favorite sandwiches:
The Slaw Be Jo at Capriotti's
followed by the Bobbie, also Capriotti's (and incidentally Thanksgiving dinner for my daughter and myself).
Third is the chicken club toaster (with extra honey mustard) at Sonic. And you have to eat it with onion rings, it's a rule.
Tam;
ReplyDeleteThe one decent thing about where I live... the Reuben was invented here, so they can make 'em right.
With Thanksgiving approaching, it's about time for one of my favorite sammiches.
Fry bacon. Mmm. Drain 99% of grease. In remaining 1%, throw leftover T-giving turkey in. Fry to golden brown. Toast whole-wheat bagel (but Onion would be tasty, too). Apply cheese (whatever kind you like) and add hot turkey and bacon.
Condiments of your choice (I'ma basic Miracle Whip guy) and enjoy.
... But a good pulled pork works, too. The other decent thing about this town is the proximity to K.C.
smoke is for pig (yum, but;) all you need for salmon is salt, sugar, and dill.
ReplyDeleteSee
[http://www.cookingforengineers.com/recipe/132/Gravlax]
gds, stencil
Underneath the bridge
ReplyDeleteThe tarp has sprung a leak
And the animals Ive trapped
Have all become my pets
And Im living off of grass
And the drippings from the ceiling
Its okay to eat fish
cause they dontt have any feelings
U-J: YES. It's why I keep making Stingray eat at the Havana Cafe every time I have to go home to Phoenix; I'm by now fully convinced that the Cuban is God's sandwich.
ReplyDeleteOther than those, I have to agree with the Reuben premise. If you can find a deli with the decency not to skimp on the sauerkraut, heaven on a plate. With fries!
Jane and Michael Stern have an entire, wonderful book devoted to the sandwiches of America.
...I lunched on my fave non-sandwich from the nearby Cajun fast-food joint, Gumbo A-Go-Go (why yes, we are all insane here in the Midwest), which begins as a Datwich (very spicy turkey, cooked until it falls apart) with vegan succotash over rice on the side; one removes the Datwich filling, adds it to the succotash, and enjoys, with fine garlic bread on the side. The Datwich by itself is too hot even for me!
ReplyDeleteAn added benefit is that any vegans nearby are repulsed.
(PS: Rubens? You come up here to Shapiro's and I'll feed you a real Ruben!)
If God didn't want us to eat animals he would have given them opposable thumbs, the ability to use tools so they could make firearms and the survival instinct to shoot back.
ReplyDeleteTurkey should be injected with butter, salt, and a touch of cayenne pepper then fried in peanut oil.
Salmon should be smoked with apple wood, or grilled with butter and garlic.
Favorite sandwich - fried egg, spicy sausage, swiss cheese and ranch dressing on dark rye bread. I can feel my arteries hardening just thinking about it.
However I had a lamb sandwich in a little Greek restaurant in Rockville MD that had a whole bunch of stuff in it that I didn't recognize but it was easily one of the best sandwiches I have ever eaten.
"If people tasted liked smoked salmon, I'd be Hannibal frickin' Lecter."
ReplyDeleteMaybe they do. . .
They have feelings as all living things have feelings. But the energy that lives within them knows their role in our universe and accepts it. Hence, they do not "feel" bad about serving as your source of energy and pleasure.
ReplyDeleteIt is their role and they accept it.
Do you have to wear yoga pants to Target to believe that?
ReplyDeleteIf people tasted liked smoked salmon
ReplyDeleteIt's not that I disapprove of the direction this is going, but just this once I ain't a-goin there in front of the more genteel co-commenters. Mmm-hmm.
Our notions of fair chase and a clean kill have developed along with our technological ability to do that. Noble Savages who prayed (and preyed) on the spirits of their sandwich meat would also reverently or gleefully watch an animal die slowly. Most of us don't think much of that now.
_jon, you're talkin' about "people," right?
ReplyDeleteTam, you eat that stuff and a Bronx accent scrapes your ears? Here in NYC my girlfriend calls it jewshi, and if you're *lucky*, you get to Murry's or N&W or Bagelworld (b'klyn!) or Essa Bagel before the line is out the door for those fresh warm tori. No toasting of fresh bagels!
ReplyDeleteMy fav is whitefish salad with tomatoes and red onions on an everything bagel. Perfect hangover breakfast for keeping the morning people at bay. No lunch required.
-E
Right there with you on the bagelox and the Reuben. Jockeying for third place are a good BLT on wheat, and my wife's leftover meatloaf on pumpernickel.
ReplyDeleteOh I am so hungry after all that. Maybe a nice toasted poppy seed bagel with plain cream cheese and lox with a little soylent green to top it off!
ReplyDeleteCarl
ps Love your blog. Keep up the great postings.