Monday, May 19, 2008

R-rated, or 'What a difference an R makes.'

So I picked up my nametag totally bichen media credentials at the Press Room, and the first word out of my mouth was "Dammit!"

That's right, they had me down as BooksbikesbRoomsticks.blogspot.com. "Broomsticks"?

I mused to xrlq and Kevin that adding that one letter totally alters the meaning. Instead of making me sound like a sportbike-riding, Heinlein-reading, shooter, it makes me sound like a mountain-bike-pedaling, granola-eating, used-book-store-owning, urban lesbian Wiccan. Not that there's anything wrong with the latter, it just ain't my particular milieu.

22 comments:

  1. And it could have been a "d" replacing the second "b" not that there's anything wrong with that, either....

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  2. They want you to eat more tofu?

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  3. Photo of illustrious name tag here.

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  4. clothmaking blog: lookslikesloomsticks.blogger.com

    cookslikeshroomsticks?

    rookspikespawnsticks.checkmate?

    Don't look at me funny, I'm bored at work, anything comes out of my head.

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  5. VILLAGER #1:
    We have found a witch. May we burn her?
    CROWD:
    Burn her! Burn! Burn her! Burn her!
    BEDEVERE:
    How do you know she is a witch?
    VILLAGER #2:
    Her name tag says so.
    CROWD:
    Right! Yeah! Yeah!
    BEDEVERE:
    Bring her forward.
    TAM:
    I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
    BEDEVERE:
    Uh, but your name tag reads, "Brrrroomsticks".
    TAM:
    They made me this name tag.
    CROWD:
    Augh, we didn't! We didn't...
    Wait; she's carrying weapons!

    Run away; run awayyyy..."

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  6. I once knew a "sportbike-riding, Heinlein-reading, shooter" who was also an "urban Wiccan". She had red hair, too.

    *sigh*

    While there are quite a few pansies in the neo-Pagan community, there are also some serious warriors (especially among the Heathen).

    You gotta love a religion that says your slain enemies will be your honor guard when you enter heaven...

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  7. Tam, if someone asks you about the following product in the exhibit hall, here's the details:

    "The Broomstick Servicing Kit comes in a black leather case with silver lettering. It contains a large jar of Fleetwood's High-Finish Handle Polish, a pair of silver Tail-Twig Clippers, a brass clip-on compass, and a Handbook of Do-It-Yourself Broomcare."

    Hoppes or Outers will add similar kits to the 2009 product catalogs, perhaps.

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  8. "Listen up you primitive screwheads! This! Is my... er... shit"

    Then again, I'm going to toddle off and entertain myself with how a Quiddich match would turn out when one of the players is carrying a 12-gague. Bwahhahahhahaha.

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  9. Oooohhh! I bet they thought you were a Harry Potter slashfic blogger.

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  10. I always knew that secretly you're a hippy.

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  11. A broom is a (brush on the end of a rigid pole) is a cleaning rod...

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  12. Bet your roommate put them up to it. :)

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  13. Was I the only one who had the "Wizard of Oz" Wicked Witch theme music run through their head?

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  14. "While there are quite a few pansies in the neo-Pagan community, there are also some serious warriors (especially among the Heathen)."


    Make-believe doesn't count.

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  15. I hate to admit this... The first times I saw your blog mentioned somewhere, I thought it was "Books, Bikes, Broomsticks". And since I kept seeing it mentioned in connection with guns, I was so happy to hear about a Pagan who was NOT a bleeding heart liberal, protesting how guns are a tool of the patriarchal system that enslaved women and tried to murder the Goddess. I'm not at all disappointed by what I did find here, but I'm still looking for those mythical Conservative Pagans. I never seem to find them, and politics has chased me out of several groups.

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  16. Another old reference comes to mind as I read the word "pagan."

    People Against Goodness And Normalcy. As in:

    'It was chilly that morning in the City of Angels. On this particular occasion we happened to witness a Pagan ritual in progress.'

    Or, 'Hi, I'm Emil Muzz and I'm a Pagan.'

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  17. Nyx said...
    ...but I'm still looking for those mythical Conservative Pagans. I never seem to find them, and politics has chased me out of several groups.
    8:38 PM, May 19, 2008

    Reckon maybe because actual Paganism (your indicated capital "P") and actual Conservatism (your indicated capital "C") are about as compatible as wolves and sheep?

    So, did you actually mean Paganism and Conservatism, or are you simply looking to sit around in a sweat lodge in your skivvies with a bunch of guys banging a drum and talking about how illegal alien deportation should be done?

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  18. Speaking of 'R' ratings...you do realize that donations to you show up on credit cards as Tams Lick....yeah, you can say it's Tamslick but wives will break it down and think we are buying porn!!!!

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  19. The sad part is that the NRA personnel that made that up that little Press ID for this NRA Convention apparently have no clue as to what a 'boomstick' is.

    Obviously, they've never seen The Evil Dead :(

    Can you say, 'Out of touch'?

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  20. err...."that made that up that" = "that made up that"

    Oops.

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  21. You could tell 'em it relates to a WWII sub's "clean sweep". OK, that won't work. Tell 'em NRA types are Bruce Campbell-phobic.

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  22. So, did you actually mean Paganism and Conservatism, or are you simply looking to sit around in a sweat lodge in your skivvies with a bunch of guys banging a drum and talking about how illegal alien deportation should be done?

    The question of whether or not to capitalize a letter at the beginning of a word isn't a battle I'm well equipped to win right now. I can say I expect a lot more from people who identify as Pagan that whatever Llewellyn Publishing is pushing as the quickest, easiest way to be the most awesome Wiccan ever, or adopting the label "eclectic" for no reason other than they couldn't feel a devotion to any specific path within two weeks and want to be able to cast fireballs on the astral plane right freakin' now! And I have a problem with people who seem to think that believing in dieties outside of what's commonly thought of as "mainstream religions" in America, or studying and using folk and/or Ceremonial magic, requires throwing away your Constutional rights, passing laws to protect people's feelings from getting hurt, trying to erase any public mention of Christianity and denouncing any non-Democrat as being evil and trying to enslave the American people.

    And assuming things were being run with any air of authenticity at all, I don't think I'd be allowed to sit in a sweat lodge with a bunch of guys.

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