Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Thermobiochemicalnukyular weapon detonated in US!

State of North Carolina evacuated! Bush declares disaster area! Obama surrenders to France! FEMA rounds up gun owners and shoots them en masse, leaving bodies in open graves. Refugees flood Tennessee and Virginia!

No, no... wait, someone just dropped some ammo in Dick's Sporting Goods.

As you were...

10 comments:

  1. Well, it's not entirely unreasonable to take some precautions with munitions mixed into moving machinery. Might startle an unsuspecting birdwatcher. We have to remember that not everyone is amused by explosions, however small, near where they're walking. But it's a thought for Burning Man or some such.

    WV:ascends-somebody's watching us do this, aren't they?

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  2. This sounds like some guy with an opened 550 pack of Federal .22lr.

    "Yes, I'd like to return these as defective. They won't fire! Look, I could mash them on the floor and..."

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  3. I have a sneaking suspicion the party who accidentally dropped the ammo into the escalator this afternoon was the same party who called our shop last evening just before close from the other Dick's at the corner of Hwy 74 and Hwy 51. Told me they wouldn't let him return the ammo he'd bought from them that didn't fit his pistol and wondered if he'd be able to trade it to us for some that did. Seriously.

    I was too busy stuck behind the lines at the shop today to evac when the order came. Christmastime-post election-freaking out-oops maybe I shouldn't have voted for change-complete newbies are harder to get away from when they are piled 10 deep at every counter than freakin zombies.

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  4. It's a good thing they weren't dropped near a heating vent. Can you imagine the carnage that would have caused?

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  5. At first I thought it would be another silly "fear of guns" story, but then again, if there were bullets dropped into the gears of a machine, and they were popping off willy nilly, and only a couple of people out of the hundreds in the mall knew for sure what the gunshot noise was all about, well, evacuate the mall, or let panic set in?

    It's not like a closed box slapped on a marble floor, and everyone fell prostrate and wet themselves in panic from the box slap.

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  6. Reminds me of an ass-chewing I got after coming home from school one day, Mom had been vacuuming my room and ran over a .22 cartridge. She was not amused.


    WV: fauted - Something a Bostonian might do.

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  7. A relatively famous chain of restaurant/dive/bistro/pseudo-porn TGI Fridays is called:

    Dick's Last Resort.

    One such on the Riverwalk in San Antonio.

    I gained small fame by tagging it as Richard's Final Option, amongst the local yuppierie there in the '90s.

    No word as to the present state of that swamp.

    Jim
    Sloop New Dawn*
    Galveston, TX

    * sunk by Ike

    (word ver "mensporp") You swine. I've never used that, or Mydol, in my entire life.

    Now, I'm gonna go cry, cause I feel bloated.

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  8. Deadly boolits contaminating the environment? Evacuate the state!

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  9. There was an overreaction, sure (cordon off the area around the escalator and shut it down, dig out cartridges later) but this is all a bit of an overreaction to the overreaction, don't you think?

    Capcha: storm. Heh.

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  10. Y'all do have some funny ways down yonder.

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