Krishna Commenter: "Furthermore, cows are sacred."
Me: "Yes. Yes, they are. Especially the rump cover cut of the top sirloin."
When I go all L. Ron Hubbard nut fudge insane and start my own religion, Picanha will be a sacrament.
Further, John Moses Browning will be a saint, and the liturgy will be punctuated by gunfire, rather than "Amen". There will be a clearing barrel by the baptismal font.
Sign me the f*ck up.
ReplyDeleteBlink...Blink...
ReplyDeleteWere you live it is not so? Our missionaries have been lax?
OK, yes, gunfire instead of "Amen" can be construed as "showing-off," but your heart's in the right place. And the clearing barrel - proper WHITE sand, please - is in the coat room.
Then again, I WAS the guy asked, quietly "Did you just slip a shot of single malt into the BAPTISMAL font?"
Hey, whadda ya expect from the kid's legal Godfather? Besides, we had drunk all the IPA.
I'm ready to convert.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm..Coordinated Choral Gunfire, an appropriate setting for Palistrina!
ReplyDeleteWouldn't you have a constitutional right to a BAR for use during services?
ReplyDeleteThe Amerind religions get peyote.
Clearly, you are a far more knowledgeable beef eater than I am. My ability to prepare cuts of beef well is limited to a few of the common cuts, and I'm getting out of practice as it is. Since I have high cholesterol at a fairly young age (and a family history of it to boot), I have to limit my carnivorous tendancies to sea kittens and chicken.
ReplyDeleteStupid, stupid, stupid high cholesterol. Granted, growing up on the coast, it's a lot easier for me to give up eating cows than it would be to give up seafood. The day you can't buy seafood without an excess of toxins is the day I start figuring out how to start a salmon farm in my back yard
Hoppe's in the baptismal font (the one for the 1911s, anyway).
ReplyDelete+1 if you want to get like LRH and charge admission to this fine spiritual tax shelter, you'll likely be able to shake me down for a few bux to bask in the holy glow!
ReplyDeleteIt is the highlight of my day to perform the Sacrament of Maintenance on my M-2, BAR or 1911.
ReplyDeleteI also find the Sunday afternoon Firing Rites to be quite meditative.
I think Brother Huffman is a little bit generous with the smokeless incense, but there are many paths of virtue in the eyes of JMB (PBUH).
Where do I get a pamphlet on thie religion?
ReplyDeleteI like this idea. I mean, the buddhists got to the idea of forming a school of thought based on the teaching of someone who actually existed, first, but this could work for me too.
ReplyDeleteJim
Instead of wafers you’d hand out .45acp cartridges. (Yes, “you” as you will be the high priestess. We’ll discuss your religious robes later.)
ReplyDeleteThe Faithful will be anointed with Hoppes.
Reformed members with BreakFree.
The Orthodox (black powder devotees) with water and soap.
Hymnal will include “Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition”
Church steeple will serve as shot tower for lead shot. (Love these religious dispensations)
Dang! I see a huge tax shelter and 1st Amendment club to use against the new administration. Go Rev. Tam!!
I nearly blew my teeth out with that one, Tam
ReplyDeleteAre you suggesting that John Moses Browning is NOT a saint???
ReplyDeleteBLASPHEMY !!
Psalms 100:1 mentions making a joyful noise unto the lord..
ReplyDeleteConvert?
ReplyDeleteSome of us believe already...
I want to be in charge of the inquisition-
Mrs. Brady? We have some questions for you. Remember, there are no wrong answers...
Staghounds--
ReplyDeleteOooh! Oooh!! I get to "interrogate" Schmucky Chucky Schumer!! :D
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