Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Talismans.

SayUncle saw a charming sign at the bank yesterday: "Please remove sunglasses, hoods and hats before entering. Thank you. BankEast."

They forgot ski masks and bandannas.

Anyhow, the obviously desktop-printed sign was taped next to a non-TCA § 39-17-1359-compliant sticker that requests goblins leave their gats and heaters in their vehicles along with their Ray-Bans and ball caps.

Why didn't they just staple a sprig of wolfsbane and a few cloves of garlic over the doorway while they were at it?

17 comments:

  1. Blood of the lamb. It's the only way to be sure.

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  2. Yeah, I first saw a bank door with a sign demanding I remove my hat and sunglasses and smile at the birdy over two years ago. Nobody grinched when I refused, but things change so fast that the same refusal might earn me a SWAT team now. It's a wonderful world, that it is.

    Since then I've moved to a small SW town where the bank tellers don't get upset when I open carry, let alone when I don't bare my face. No telling how long that happy state will last.

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  3. Funny you should mention garlic... I stopped in a local tire shop to have a slow leak plugged, and taped above the doorframe was a small mesh bag of garlic cloves. No crucifixes, stakes or bats were in evidence, however.

    I'm still puzzling over that...

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  4. 'round here, a lot of places put up "no guns" signs or a picture of a 92FS with a big X over it. Doesn't affect me, I pack a S&W 638. Whenever I see those, I just smile and go about my business. In Texas, it must be a specific, clearly visible sign in large block print (Pursuant to penal code 30.06...) which is pretty rare, and is usually more successful at repelling my business than crime.

    WV: etiou - Julius Ceasar's dying words to his loan officer.

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  5. I've seen gun shops with signs about hoodies, but they also tend to have signs like "Premises are under video surveillance", and "Store Employees Are Armed."

    It's that last one that gets respect. Everything else is window dressing.

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  6. How about this for a anti-bank robber signage?

    All videos of robbers will be edited after prosecution to show the robbers eating their own poop and crying about not being understood. The videos will be posted on Youtube.

    Select still photos will be distributed, gratis, to all inmates of whatever facility said robbers end up in.

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  7. What did it say about the hijab?

    If I have to remove my hat, Muslim women should have to remove their head coverings. It's only fair.

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  8. When we had the coffeehouse, it was not unusual to have customers working on EBRs at their table.

    We had signs on the door indicating we welcomed CHL holders who were properly (heavily) armed, and that trespassers/burglars would be cheerfully killed and mutilated.

    The only problem we ever had was in the parking lot, and it was a domestic squabble which led to a slapfest between two guys arguing over words said to their common sister/girlfriend. Unfortunately, I was not in town at the time to referee.

    Regards,
    Rabbit.

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  9. That is why I do business in the bank drive thru. In the glorious state of NC, we are not allowed to carry into banks. If I was allowed to do so, I can assure you BankEast would not see a penny from me.

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  10. I've seen a sign at a local gun store saying "please unload shotgun and remove ski mask before entering".

    Heh.

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  11. Probably the most effective sign for stopping goblins that anyone could have is the one at my local gun store.

    "Employees and customers may be armed."

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  12. Hint to marketing professionals: there are people who relish doing business with banks that post notices informing potential robbers that most, if not all, employees and customers are armed.

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  13. Someone should add that strips of bacon should be nailed on the door frame to repel swine flu......

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  14. I've often though what an interesting court case it would make if someone ever were arrested for carrying in a "prohibited place" and used the "sign not in compliance with § 39-17-1359" defense. (No, I'm not willing to be a guinea pig; I'm NOT too pretty to go to prison.)

    Just like I wonder about similar cases in states where the state gummint has decided whether or not someone can carry in church, rather than allowing the church's executive committee to chose for themselves.

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  15. Because garlic and wolfsbane might actually work? And the sign is just wishful thinking?

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  16. Perhaps a more apposite posting might be that quote from Col. Cooper about his looking at masked men as targets.

    ::eyebrow bounce:: Heh.

    M

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  17. "please unload shotgun and remove ski mask before entering".



    See it is all about asking nicely.

    The magic word: "Please"

    (That and you walking into a gun store where the employees are armed.)

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