Saturday, July 03, 2010

"We was banished from Woolworth's."

The guy from Photography Is Not A Crime and a friend took cameras to the Miami Metro rail station. Hilarity ensues, complete with a supporting cast of "Respect Mah Authoritah!" mall ninjas, blustering cops, and a lifetime "ban" from the Woolworth's Metro rail system.

Photographer Stretch Ledford's account of the incident is pure comedy gold. (Hint: If you're some guy in Zaire with an AK, you get to tell Stretch to stop taking pictures. If you're a rent-a-cop in Miami with a can of OC? Not so much.)

18 comments:

  1. "We was beat up by a Bible salesman and banished from Woolworths. I dont know, Everett, was it the one branch or all of them?"

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  2. Does he get his tax money refunded? No? Then I want mine refunded. Little Cuba's choo-choo is on the federal dole.

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  3. Hooray! Everything is on the internet!

    http://www.gotwavs.com/php/sounds/?id=gog&media=MP3S&type=Movies&movie=O_Brother_Where_Art_Thou&quote=catchingup.txt&file=catchingup.mp3

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  4. So the former rent-a-cops at TSA are hiring rent-a-cops to do their job (TSA is the ultimate boss over rail lines nowadays, don'tcha know)? Yet its too expensive to send the National Guard to secure our borders? As for the photography laws, let's see, click on Google Maps, type in Miami Beach, go to satellite view... Look! there's some railroad tracks and a train station! Shhhh! Don't tell anyone! Wouldn't want any terrorist to find out how we broke Metro-Dade's train systems security, right? If our tax money wasn't paying for this (that is, the money taken from those who still have jobs), this would be funny.

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  5. Before there were Wookie suits, there was . . . The Clash. For an upper middle class white kid from Texas, I dug on the Clash the most, back from '80-current date.

    The thing that made the whole link for me was the inclusion of the Strummer quote at the bottom, from "Know Your Rights."

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  6. I shouldn't watch video like that. It makes me angry and give me indigestion.

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  7. These robots don't provide any type of security. No knowlege of the applicable law no encentive to learn applicable law. Make it up as they go along. Do they realy believe they are being proactive? Yes they are that ignorant and are ment to be.

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  8. I like the idea of the camera flash mob that someone suggested. I'd love to see what they do if a thousand people show up with cameras.

    And then the very next commenter points out: as you allude to in your travel reports.. the guys with the guns make the rules at the scene.

    Which makes me wonder if FL has legal OC yet, and what would happen if a thousand people showed up carrying cameras, and packing a pistol on their hip.

    *sigh* Yeah, I know it's a bad idea... But I still wonder.

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  9. Next wv tht pops up: "storm". Ok, yeah, that probably describes what the result would be...

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  10. The pitiful thing is that Metrorail is one of the most useless pieces of public transportation around. If you don't live directly on the route (which I think Mr. Ledford does), you have to either connect by one of the most unreliable bus systems this side of Cartagena, or drive to one of the stations, which rather defeats the purpose.

    And that of course assumes you want to go to downtown Miami, which is something not for the faint of heart, even if you speak Spanish. Metrorail is in no danger of me ever becoming a passenger, I think.

    I have encountered 50 State Security before, and invariably they seem to have Kreyol accents so heavy that it's almost impossible to understand what they are saying.

    Bienvenidos a Miami, Cuidad de los Locos.

    BTW, Florida has CCW but from what I remember is one of the most restrictive states on OC. Don't want to frighten all those tourists from Europe and Chicago, I guess.

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  11. Come to think of it, the Cartagena bus system is more reliable than Miami Dade's.

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  12. kishnevi is right. Florida is a no OC state to the degree that an accidental disclosure of a (legally) concealed pistol can land you in some serious dookie.

    I will be surprised if we ever get OC in Florida.

    s

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  13. Ironically, when I used to do security, I was usually the fat bastard. I was inevitably the most even tempered guy in the khaki shirts. I always found it were the skinny doaks that tended to go all psychobilly and make matters worse.

    I'd love to do a gig with JayG though. Or Tam even. I'd just stand slightly back and say 'Don't mess with him/her, he/she's crazy!

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  14. It's an embarrassment how poorly some security guards perform their jobs. As one myself (a security-licensed nightclub bouncer/doorman), I've made a deliberate effort to educate myself on the duties, responsibilities and limitations of my job. These "rent-a-cop" morons make my job more difficult due to the appalling stupidity and arrogance they routinely display. I've frequently displayed a greater depth and breadth of knowledge of the relevant laws than the patrolmen I've occasionally been required to call. None of it is rocket science, just common sense mixed with a strong work ethic, even temperament, a little good judgment and a bit of education.
    It's just appalling how low the public's expectations of the level of professionalism has sunk to and their willingness to tolerate it.

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  15. I like to ask them simple questions, like where the restrooms are, where the nearest Starbucks is, how to get to Carnegie Hall (yeah, I know, Practice!) and so on. Then I ask them where to apply for a job like theirs. Usually provokes a binary response: either very worried and paranoid or really helpful, not a lot in between.

    Or I just say, "No thanks!" take two big steps off their direct line towards me, and keep going. Usually stops them long enough to avoid any interaction whatsoever. Oddly enough, this works with drunks and panhandlers as well. May be some overlap in these groups.

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  16. There ought to be some significant penalty for any authorized person attempting to enforce a law that doesn't exist.
    Significant. Who the hell do these people think they are?

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  17. Back when I was a dispatcher, you'd occasionally get an officer calling in asking "What's the law about 'X'?" And you'd be sitting there thinking "You went to four months of academy and so forth, and you're asking ME?"

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  18. One might check the laws of FL. I am pretty sure FL passed legislation allowing security guards to give lawful orders that must be obeyed under penalty of law.

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