Wednesday, July 28, 2010

You gotta give him credit for chutzpah.

"That is the worst shaving accident I've ever worked. I don't think I've ever before seen a man accidentally cut his own throat to the bone three times with an electric razor."
Suing mob hitmen is a business model that makes that of The Underpants Gnomes look brilliant and well thought-out.

7 comments:

  1. "He was cleaning his pistol and accidentally shot himself once in the chest and two in the head."

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  2. "He fell over backwards on a steak knife twenty-seven times."

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  3. I've always enjoyed "he had a real death grip on the " when folks explain a 'suicide' with multiple wounds :)

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  4. "It sounds like someone made a mistake.’’

    I've seen a suicide with six .22 shots to the chest. And it really was a suicide- old lady with cancer, no relatives, no money, no insurance, sold her stuff, left a note, in a locked house.

    Kept shooting where she thought her heart was. #6 made it.

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  5. My fave was a high round count suicide. With a .22. Bolt action.

    Up. Back. Forward. Bang.
    Up. Back. Forward. Bang.
    Up. Back. Forward. Bang.
    Up. Back. Forward. Bang.

    Repeat as necessary.

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  6. He fell down an elevator shaft. Onto some bullets.

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  7. "What do you mean we used Quick Drying cement when he came to fine us for a lousy construction job and is stuck? Well, just keep pouring those support columns, I can't help it he's too stupid to get out of the way."-J.Gotti

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