Books. Bikes. Boomsticks.
“I only regret that I have but one face to palm for my country.”
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Oh, stewardess! I speak jive!
Apparently the squares at the DEA in charge of listening in on other people's phone conversations need to hire someone less square than they are, like perhaps June Cleaver, to help them figure out what suspects are saying.
To help answer Shootin' Buddy's Question: Here in Ohio, the State Gooberment issued a Decree in the mid '90s that ALL students who wish to get a Degree at a State-Funded College HAD to take about 47 Credit Hours of Gen. Ed Requirements, due to the fact that the Local School Districts were giving out High School Diplomas if the kid showed up most of the time, and none of them knew how to read, write,and add. This would put a HUGE crimp into the various University Football Programs, which, as we all know, is the purpose of the Modern American University System.
At the Univeristy of Akron, (where I'm trying to finish off my History Degree) the English Req. is satisfied if one passes English 3300 110/111. But since the local Akron Public School kids ( Akron is now a "Minority City") couldn't even pass the "See Spot Run" 110 classes, a couple of years ago a solution was found:
English 3300 113/114: "African-American Language and Culture, parts 1+2".
These classes have been approved by the State Gooberment as an acceptable Substitute for Real English, the NCAA Football people are happy, and to be fair, they are "Open to All Students". Yet, surprisingly, if one does not have a Genetically Induced Darkening of One's skin, anecdotal feed back from Rumor Control is that the classes seem to be "Full" when one goes to register, and those who are Pale Challenged are sent to the regular English Classes.
Whether successful passing of these classes will enable one to become a translator, I do not know. However, Rumor Control has it that some kind of "Spanglish" classes are being developed for the Latino kids who are given a space at the School. Also, I do not know if other Ohio Universities have these classes,but I suspect so.
Of, course we all know this is Bush's fault. Hope this helps.
Remember about a dozen years back, Oakland (CA) actually designated Ebonics as a language, in expectation of receiving federal funds? That was too much even for Jesse Jackson, who humiliated them into backing away from the idea.
Seriously, Grand Exalted Cyclops Byrd (or whatever his title was) couldn't have developed a sneakier, more cunning ploy to keep inner city Blacks uneducated and stupid than "Ebonics is a real language!"
Wow!
ReplyDeleteJust when you think you've heard everything...
How does one get papered? Is there a federal school for this?
ReplyDeleteWhat level is Eubonics?
Shootin' Buddy
A lawyer over at the Popehat blog explained what they're hiring for.
ReplyDeleteCitizenNothing,
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's what translators who work for LE agencies often do.
What was old is new again....
ReplyDeletehttp://www.daybydaycartoon.com/2005/07/19/#003166
That is one of the funniest little scenes ever, in the fourth funniest movies ever made.
ReplyDeleteHere's Mrs. Billingsley talking, charmingly, about it.
You have to love it, "The girl at Paramount who knew all about jive", and "Whitey", forsooth.
And wait for 1.05 in this one
And, for serious, it's needed.
ReplyDeleteHow many time have I had to get witnesses to translate phrases like "And then he stole me!" for mystified judges and jurors.
(Stole means struck unexpectedly.)
I have on more than one occasion told hostile witnesses, "Speak English, you aren't slinging crack to your home boys on Fagan Street now."
And I say it just like Barbara would.
Barbara Bush, that is.
Thank you for posting the first thing I thought of, when I heard this discussed on Rush Limbaugh the other day.
ReplyDelete"Chump don't want no help, chump don't get no help!"
To help answer Shootin' Buddy's Question: Here in Ohio, the State Gooberment issued a Decree in the mid '90s that ALL students who wish to get a Degree at a State-Funded College HAD to take about 47 Credit Hours of Gen. Ed Requirements, due to the fact that the Local School Districts were giving out High School Diplomas if the kid showed up most of the time, and none of them knew how to read, write,and add. This would put a HUGE crimp into the various University Football Programs, which, as we all know, is the purpose of the Modern American University System.
ReplyDeleteAt the Univeristy of Akron, (where I'm trying to finish off my History Degree) the English Req. is satisfied if one passes English 3300 110/111. But since the local Akron Public School kids ( Akron is now a "Minority City") couldn't even pass the "See Spot Run" 110 classes, a couple of years ago a solution was found:
English 3300 113/114: "African-American Language and Culture, parts 1+2".
These classes have been approved by the State Gooberment as an acceptable Substitute for Real English, the NCAA Football people are happy, and to be fair, they are "Open to All Students". Yet, surprisingly, if one does not have a Genetically Induced Darkening of One's skin, anecdotal feed back from Rumor Control is that the classes seem to be "Full" when one goes to register, and those who are Pale Challenged are sent to the regular English Classes.
Whether successful passing of these classes will enable one to become a translator, I do not know. However, Rumor Control has it that some kind of "Spanglish" classes are being developed for the Latino kids who are given a space at the School. Also, I do not know if other Ohio Universities have these classes,but I suspect so.
Of, course we all know this is Bush's fault. Hope this helps.
Remember about a dozen years back, Oakland (CA) actually designated Ebonics as a language, in expectation of receiving federal funds? That was too much even for Jesse Jackson, who humiliated them into backing away from the idea.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, Grand Exalted Cyclops Byrd (or whatever his title was) couldn't have developed a sneakier, more cunning ploy to keep inner city Blacks uneducated and stupid than "Ebonics is a real language!"
Southerners can understand this patois. Yankees can't. Seems to be a lot of the latter in the ATL these days.
ReplyDelete