I sat down at the desk here to check my email for the afternoon, with a plate in front of me containing a couple of rolled-up hors d'oeuvres, consisting of rolled slices of smoked chicken breast and yummy cheese, when I felt my ears burning like someone was talking about me behind my back. I looked down, and at either elbow was a dachshund staring raptly towards the plate with a gaze to make an eagle look myopic.
"Y'all know that I'm eating over a plate, and the plate is on a desk, and nothing is likely to fall to dog level, right?"
They didn't blink. Not once. Not until I was done and had carted my dishes to the sink did they stir from their sphinx-like poses. It was uncanny.
I'm used to dogs that beg. I'm used to dogs that ignore you. I'm even used to cats that will magically levitate to food-level and offer to fight you for your grub. But this dead-silent, absolutely single-minded scrutiny was almost unnerving...
And if anything had fallen, they would have been on it quicker than you can blink, and then been right back in position again.
ReplyDeleteThese are dogs whose pack includes two young children, remember. Which means a)they have been taught not to harass eaters, and b)they have learned that the probability of something being dropped anyway is high.
ReplyDeleteLabRat - You're right. My brother's two shar pei's are at their posts under the kitchen table for every meal. They never beg they just clean up anything that hits the floor.
ReplyDeleteFirst I missed Oleg, then I missed you. Well, few things went right this holiday.
ReplyDeleteI've got two 100 lb. GSDs that do the same. If you look at them they look you straight in the eye and don't blink. Even tho I'm pack leader it still is a little unnerving at times.
ReplyDeleteBasset hounds beat out dachhunds at blank, longing stares.
ReplyDeleteA premature spiritual possession? (All Hallow's Eve approaches!)
ReplyDeleteBut this dead-silent, absolutely single-minded scrutiny was almost unnerving...
ReplyDeleteBadger-dogs are like that, or so I hear from a friend who has two. Scary smart, and just-as-scary Focused, and quite capable of outstubborning a malamute.
Talk about your non-sequiturs, I had to check a few time to be sure I was on the correct porch. After reading the previous posts thing became clearer, but initially I was all twitterpated.
ReplyDeleteIf you've ever owned a Doxie, you'll understand what Tam writes......
ReplyDeleteI have two Brittanys that do the same thing. Every single day. They assume the position and don't move until dinner is over or they get something.
ReplyDelete"Y'all know that I'm eating over a plate..."
ReplyDeleteWhat. we. have. heah. is...a failuh to communicate.
Those dachsies were born, bred, and trained German; try "Nein!", 'cause I don't think they grok "Y'all".
(yeah, I know MW's better half is Southron, but that effs up my joke, so...)
AT
Cover the bases; "Nein, y'all!"
ReplyDeleteDogs are eternal optimists. They understand the plate, table, gravity thing, but they will not risk being out of position should an apocalytic event occur or the laws of physics be suspended.
ReplyDeleteAll it takes is one time, and you've lost out on the turkey and cheese.
We call that the "Yorkie mind-meld".
ReplyDeleteYou didn't give them anything?!?! Poor babies! Mean Tam!
ReplyDelete"Y'all know that I'm eating over a plate, and the plate is on a desk, and nothing is likely to fall to dog level, right?"
ReplyDeleteYou can have a dog (or cat, or whatever) that you swear understands every word you say, but tell them they're not getting food and it all reverts to Charlie Brown-style "Wah wah wah, wah wah-wah wah."
Same goes for "Hey, I was sitting there."
Badger dog initiation rite for newby German hunters,esp US Forces guys.
ReplyDelete""Ja mien Herr. Ztand rhight here, by the hole where the dog chases out the badger."
All other holes being stopped up,there is only one exit, where the badger will come out.Post of honor? Nah...post of being in the way of a single-minded Doxie with 'biting badger' or ANYTHING else that moves on it's mind. Krauts have a hearty laff. Nice scar, tho.
Intense little dogs, those earthhunds. We like the Tribe Canine. Our Chessies have been an ongoing graduate course, and yup -- The Table has rituals all it's own.
Happy to read of your new acquaintances, Tam.
I used to live with Great Danes, they sit down and stare fixedly DOWN on the plates and table.
ReplyDeleteOh, Except the one that would drool on my shoulder and he rested his head on it while gently breathing near my ear.
(That was all good, it was their habit of grabbing the duvet and gentlt but firmly pulling it off, followed by a large cold wet nose in warm places when they needed to pee at 7AM that got on my nerves.)
Dackelhunden are good like that. My little long-hair dachshund was intense in her focus, and wouldn't blink one bit until her chances of getting a treat were well past. She'd also decide during her daily walks that she wanted to go no further, and would quite pointedly sit down. I miss her...
ReplyDeleteIn Finland they've got this stuffed, motorized bear they use to test dogs reaction to encountering a bear.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_YtXQVtM2k
Skip to 4:25 to see how a Dachshund reacted. :D (FYI, the dog shown starting at the 2:30 mark is one specifically bred to hunt bears.)
The dog at 2:30 is a Karillian Bear Dog I assume? The Dachshund didn't suprise me at all, they can be friendly little guys, till they take it into their heads to do something about it!
ReplyDeleteMy oldest grandpuppy is only half Doxie, the other half Chihuahua. I have never seen such intense zen-like concentration.
ReplyDeleteAnd Grover can hear a candy bar wrapper crinkle at 100 yards and can teleport directly to the person involved to start working his best stuff.
It almost always works, too.