Voice on TV: "Ask me what it's like to sleep on a cloud!"
RX: "Ask me what it's like to ride a camel."
Me: "What did you say?"
RX: "I said, 'Ask me what it's like to ride a camel'!"
Me: "Oh, thank gawd. I thought you'd said 'Ask me what it's like to ride a clown'!"
RX: "Oh, clown rodeo! There's the cowboy in the chute atop ol' Bozo. He's a mean one! The gate opens and off he goes, bucking across the ring..."
Me: *helpless, shrieking laughter*
RX: "...and then they have those specially-trained bulls to distract the clowns and keep 'em from trampling riders when they get thrown."
I have not been able to get the image of clown rodeo out of my head all morning...
American clown rodeo is actually descended from a Spanish sport where men in too-tight, sequined pants bravely face off against irritable, chain-smoking French mimes.
ReplyDeleteGod(s)......
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine the carnage if one of the clowns got loose and managed to get into the stands?
What load for clowns? I'm guessing they'll require something with serious knockdown power.
BGM
300 grain semi-jacketed confetti points work for me.
ReplyDeleteMust>Have>Pictures!
ReplyDelete(VW: "hatering." OMG)
Oh, man, these answers are killing me.
ReplyDeleteAT's was poetry.
I wonder if Hemingway aver covered a clownfight (or lucha del payaso as it is known in its native land)?
Tam,
ReplyDeleteI don't know about Hemingway's clownfighting experience but I think Ruark had some wild clown experiences. On one of his safaris with Harry Selby I think he pulled a tag for a Lesser Livingston's Jokeabeast. If I'm remembering the story correctly he and Selby came across a herd of Jokeabeast denned down in an old Land Rover. Ruark was shooting one of Karamojo Bell's old 7mms.
BGM
Those clown guns are dangerous.
ReplyDeleteThose BANG flags can poke your eye out!
Send in the clowns, don't bother, they're here...
ReplyDelete@JB - replace BANG flags with SQUIB flags, much safer!
And I thought clown rodeo was she didn't remove her makeup first?
Ruark and Selby creeping up on the herd of Livingston's Jokeabeasts was the coffee splutter moment of the week. Karamojo Bell's .17 caliber elephant gun was covered in last month's G&A which I read now only for the reinforcement of my opinion that literacy is no longer a pre-req for a writing career.
ReplyDeletewv: "costoy"--a Russian tragedian sold in paperback versions at a member's only discount warehouse.
You two are certifiable! :oD
ReplyDeleteWorst clown to ride: Pennywise, from Stephen Kings "It".
Yes- when the Pierrotador fights so well that the crowd insists he be given both ears...
ReplyDeleteActually I think clown rodeo is more cruel than clownfighting. Have you seen where they tie that "bucking handkerchief"?
Ohhhhh.....
ReplyDeleteNow I understand why when they pull the hankie out of a pocket the end of the string of hankies and flags is a pair of boxers.
It all makes a little more sense.
'Course now I'm just a little more worried about that squirting flower.
BGM
clown rodeo
ReplyDeleteClown wranglers.
I have not been able to get the image of clown rodeo out of my head all morning...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Now we can't either... Heh.
Ride 'em. clownboy!!
ReplyDeleteDamn, right to the spam filters again.
ReplyDelete"Well daggum, that was a pretty good ride, don't you think, Gus?"
ReplyDelete"Damned if I know, Rusty-- I can't bear to look at them dadgummed clowns; I get the shivers."
Anybody remember the Bud Light commercial for "Lawyer Rodeo" that everyone but the Bar Association loved?
ReplyDeleteLittelRed1
Sadly, a few decades ago during the Running of the Clowns in Pamplona, many of the clowns were able to break free and then hide out in various national governing bodies... thus the EU was born.
ReplyDeleteJoke all you want, but messin' with clowns is scary business. A friend and I had cornered one downtown a few years ago, when suddenly 12 more sprang out of a nearby Kia...
ReplyDeleteEven today the sight of a balloon animal triggers my PCTSD.
Antibubba
Look, the clown riding is all well and good, but the real skill is in the stand up comic-roping. Them buggers move faster than you think.
ReplyDeleteJim
What makes the North American clown subspecies so dangerous is the cooperative hunting tactics. Several clowns will attempt to distract their target with random sprays of water and colorful bunches of flowers as the last member of the pack low-crawls up from behind to tear out the prey's ACL. Suffice it to say; when the little clown car rolls to a stop, you know it's on!
ReplyDeleteNow if you want to talk about tough, those rodeo bulls are freaking tough. It takes a lot of guts to get into that arena, much less to get between some poor stunned clownboy and a crazed, pie slinging 300lb Hobo clown. I'd sure want more than just a half ton of muscle and a set of razor sharp horns if I was face to face with one of those clowns.
ReplyDeleteWhere do they find a barrel big enough for the bull to dive in to when the clown gets danger close?
ReplyDeleteBGM
They use those huge French wine barrels. But you have to make sure they're empty or the bulls just dive in and refuse to come back out.
ReplyDelete