Books. Bikes. Boomsticks.
“I only regret that I have but one face to palm for my country.”
Friday, March 25, 2011
I have a strange bucket list.
I keep meaning to wander into a Christian Science Reading Room with my novel du jour and flop down and start reading. And when someone comes up to pester me, I'll look up in annoyance and say "Do you mind? I'm reading!" .
In the northwest there were two small chains that are ripe for such treatment. 1) "Christian Store" for which I have always want to go to the counter wearing a toga, and say "Can I get lions here also?" 2) "Adult Store" ...
Yeah, I got kicked out of The Baby Depot in Arlington Heights for asking if they had any 5-month olds in stock and if they had any repair or overhaul kits for last year's models. You'd think with a name like the Baby Depot they'd have 'em stacked like adorable cooing cordwood.
Reminds me of the time I was sleeping in a highway rest area in North Dakota and two State Troopers woke me up to tell me that I couldn't sleep there. My half-awake reply of "Well I could if you'd turn that light off and go away," almost got me a tour of their jail.
I have to say I actually did go into a CSRR years ago, in Austria of all places. I was there like four hours- wrote letters and postcards, read a bit of books I had, just used the place like it was my own.
The Christian Scientists were very polite and non-disturby.
Murphy's Law - about that "reswt area" ... you should ask, next time around, "what's a rest area for then?" And follow-up with "Where is the sign thaqt says "no resting"? Seems to me, given Clinton's "is", that you could win in court? Or at least after an exhaustive appeal.
For many years our local library had a small parking lot in the back that had a sign that read "Staff Cars Only" I always wanted to buy a 1943 Dodge Staff Car (still in olive green, with the white stars on the doors) and park it there, just to see what would happen.
Try being told for 10 years that if you ever have to do your job for REAL, you've FAILED. One of my Skippers didn't like it when, after he gave that "Why We Don't Fight Unless They Start It Lecture", some smart ass in the Back of the Room said, "Well, if we ever have to Nuke the Russians, I'll be damned if I'm giving back my Christmas Bonus Money!" One old A-3, just one little old Polaris A-3, they're going to be Trashed anyway, no one will miss it, and it's not like they didn't earn it, but noooooo.......
"You'd think with a name like the Baby Depot they'd have 'em stacked like adorable cooing cordwood."
Um..... they don't stack well. If you DO attempt to stack very many, the cooing stops and the contagious screaming and crapping of pants begins..... and nobody likes that smell......... trust me, BTDT......
....thus the Zero Inventory Supply Chain was invented. They have a deviously successful business model, that way, too: Mommies waiting 9+ months for their baby to arrive will buy endless amounts of overpriced accessory junk they will never need and only be able to use a very short time, and it has zero resale value..... nobody, it seems, wants a used Dora diaper pail......
As someone who will be entering my 70ieth Decade in the next month, I have reluctanctly crossed riding in the Manx TT off of my bucket list.
A factor in my decision was seeing a Web page by a mommy who has ridden in that race, reclining on her sofa (she couldn't easily get up, with those casts on her limbs) surrounded by her loving children.
She's about half my age. My chalky old bones, yaknow.
"You'd think with a name like the Baby Depot they'd have 'em stacked like adorable cooing cordwood."
If they're still cooing they're much too wet to be loose stacked, they'll warp and crack as they dry. Gotta keep some weight on 'em and dry them a good long time under pressure, and then will grow to be upstanding citizens.
"I just want to say that "adorable cooing cordwood" may be full of more win than anything ever typed on the intertubes ever.
Well, as a state employee, I'm trying to give you all some value-added entertainment on top of fighting the hordes of unfathomable and often illegible paperwork created to inform the public.
tickmeister said... Out here in the western midwest, we have a chain of convenience stores called "Kum and Go". I will say no more.
My wife and I just HAD to buy one of their lighters when we saw that place. Because we knew that no one in Virginia would believe us without proof. . .
Well, it started out as a term of opprobrium, Wesleyans being annoyingly humorlessly methodical, compared to the easy-going High-Church Anglicans. As someone who is still officially a Methodist but attends Anglican services, with real wine, and all, I am somewhat amused. And bemused.
In the northwest there were two small chains that are ripe for such treatment.
ReplyDelete1) "Christian Store" for which I have always want to go to the counter wearing a toga, and say "Can I get lions here also?"
2) "Adult Store" ...
I'm afraid one day I'll succumb to temptation and wind up arrested at a bookstore for trying to steal the "Christian Fiction" sign.
ReplyDeleteI always have at least one friend pre-loaded with bail money for just such an occasion.
Yeah, I got kicked out of The Baby Depot in Arlington Heights for asking if they had any 5-month olds in stock and if they had any repair or overhaul kits for last year's models. You'd think with a name like the Baby Depot they'd have 'em stacked like adorable cooing cordwood.
ReplyDeleteApparently, I have small ambitions.
ReplyDeleteI just want to tour a non-dairy and see where they don't keep the cows.
Oh, Tam. Trolling before trolling was cool.
ReplyDeleteI frequently walk by one of those Reading Rooms on Main Street in downtown Houston. I don't recall that I've ever seen anyone in there reading.
ReplyDeleteThat's some high-dollar real estate considering the lack of traffic. Perhaps they have a Happy Hour on the weekends...
Reminds me of the time I was sleeping in a highway rest area in North Dakota and two State Troopers woke me up to tell me that I couldn't sleep there. My half-awake reply of "Well I could if you'd turn that light off and go away," almost got me a tour of their jail.
ReplyDeleteOut here in the western midwest, we have a chain of convenience stores called "Kum and Go". I will say no more.
ReplyDeleteI have to say I actually did go into a CSRR years ago, in Austria of all places. I was there like four hours- wrote letters and postcards, read a bit of books I had, just used the place like it was my own.
ReplyDeleteThe Christian Scientists were very polite and non-disturby.
Murphy's Law - about that "reswt area" ... you should ask, next time around, "what's a rest area for then?" And follow-up with "Where is the sign thaqt says "no resting"? Seems to me, given Clinton's "is", that you could win in court? Or at least after an exhaustive appeal.
ReplyDeleteFor many years our local library had a small parking lot in the back that had a sign that read "Staff Cars Only" I always wanted to buy a 1943 Dodge Staff Car (still in olive green, with the white stars on the doors) and park it there, just to see what would happen.
ReplyDeleteTry being told for 10 years that if you ever have to do your job for REAL, you've FAILED. One of my Skippers didn't like it when, after he gave that "Why We Don't Fight Unless They Start It Lecture", some smart ass in the Back of the Room said, "Well, if we ever have to Nuke the Russians, I'll be damned if I'm giving back my Christmas Bonus Money!" One old A-3, just one little old Polaris A-3, they're going to be Trashed anyway, no one will miss it, and it's not like they didn't earn it, but noooooo.......
ReplyDeleteEl Capitan: they do, for a given value of "happiness."
ReplyDelete"You'd think with a name like the Baby Depot they'd have 'em stacked like adorable cooing cordwood."
ReplyDeleteUm..... they don't stack well. If you DO attempt to stack very many, the cooing stops and the contagious screaming and crapping of pants begins..... and nobody likes that smell......... trust me, BTDT......
....thus the Zero Inventory Supply Chain was invented. They have a deviously successful business model, that way, too: Mommies waiting 9+ months for their baby to arrive will buy endless amounts of overpriced accessory junk they will never need and only be able to use a very short time, and it has zero resale value..... nobody, it seems, wants a used Dora diaper pail......
I just want to say that "adorable cooing cordwood" may be full of more win than anything ever typed on the intertubes ever.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who will be entering my 70ieth Decade in the next month, I have reluctanctly crossed riding in the Manx TT off of my bucket list.
ReplyDeleteA factor in my decision was seeing a Web page by a mommy who has ridden in that race, reclining on her sofa (she couldn't easily get up, with those casts on her limbs) surrounded by her loving children.
She's about half my age. My chalky old bones, yaknow.
"You'd think with a name like the Baby Depot they'd have 'em stacked like adorable cooing cordwood."
ReplyDeleteIf they're still cooing they're much too wet to be loose stacked, they'll warp and crack as they dry. Gotta keep some weight on 'em and dry them a good long time under pressure, and then will grow to be upstanding citizens.
"I just want to say that "adorable cooing cordwood" may be full of more win than anything ever typed on the intertubes ever.
ReplyDeleteWell, as a state employee, I'm trying to give you all some value-added entertainment on top of fighting the hordes of unfathomable and often illegible paperwork created to inform the public.
tickmeister said...
ReplyDeleteOut here in the western midwest, we have a chain of convenience stores called "Kum and Go". I will say no more.
My wife and I just HAD to buy one of their lighters when we saw that place. Because we knew that no one in Virginia would believe us without proof. . .
I keep politely interrogating every Methodist I meet to ascertain just what the vaunted Method actually is.
ReplyDeleteSo far, all I've learned is that they get pissed when you ask them this.
The remarkable consistency of this suggests it may be a key fact.
Research continues.
;)
-gwa.45
Well, it started out as a term of opprobrium, Wesleyans being annoyingly humorlessly methodical, compared to the easy-going High-Church Anglicans. As someone who is still officially a Methodist but attends Anglican services, with real wine, and all, I am somewhat amused. And bemused.
ReplyDelete