Wednesday, July 13, 2011

This is my dubious face...

You know how when Oleg puts up a picture of some nekkid chick holding a weird antique gun you've never heard of, some smart aleck always chimes in with "Wait, there was a gun in that picture?" Yeah, this is kinda like that...

Breda put up a post about Sarah Palin on the cover of Newsweek and, for contrast, included a picture of Barack pedalin' his bicycle.

Of course, the first thing I looked at in the whole post was the presidential velocipede. It was too small for him and the tires were awfully low on air, but that's not what caught my eye. What caught my eye is that it appears to be an older Trek 7000, their entry-level "hybrid" bike. I find it odd that even self-unemployed bloggers in Broad Ripple go a step up from that, but maybe you don't need a lot of bike if all you use it for is photo ops and, judging from the lack of frivolities like lights or a water bottle cage, that's probably all it gets used for.

BHO: "Smithers, I need a bicycle for campaign photo ops in case I want to talk about fitness. SWPLs like bicycles. Go fetch one."

Memo To Politicians: So many of you have lost the knack for acting like Normal People that when you try, it just makes you look like a doofus. (cf. Any campaign trail hunting trip. Unless you're Dick Cheney and actually bag a lawyer...)

38 comments:

  1. Sorry, couldn't get past the dork on the bike with helmet. Did they photoshop off the training wheels?

    Gerry

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  2. Compare and contrast with GWB's mountain bike - one that's actually ridden by the man...

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  3. @Gerry:

    No, note the trailer bar going off stage left.

    In reality: welded to the prez. limo.

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  4. I just can't get into hybrids. I owned and commuted on one for 5 years. It wasn't a comfy as a serious touring bike, not as off-road capable as a mountain bike and managed to be heavier and slower than both.

    Maybe hybrid bikes are like pistol caliber carbines in that way.

    Like guns, I just prefer an arsenal of purposes specific bicycles.

    And for the record, a fast touring bike is the scout rifle of bicycles.

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  5. I like it for the gravel alley and the occasionally washboard-y and bomb-cratered streets in Broad Ripple.

    It's a good grocery hauler, and plenty comfy for a day pedaling up & down the Monon.

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  6. Fun Experiment:
    Give BHO 2 tire(tyre?)levers, a patch kit and ask him to repair a puncture.
    I picture him glued to the bike.

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  7. I don't think the Secret Service would let the President ride a bike at night.

    So lights, not so necessary.

    Likewise, he has guards around him at all times; no need for a water bottle. The SS escorts can carry some, if it's really needful.

    (Plus, notice the trailer arm? Maybe the trailer's full of bottled water.

    Not that even a solitary bike-rider really needs a water bottle for short trips or a wee commute. Y' ain't gonna get dehydrated riding two or three miles, unless maybe it's 102 degrees out or something..)

    (I agree it's probably a photo-op bike - but the lack of those features doesn't demonstrate it, in a Presidential context.)

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  8. I have one of the cheap Trek Navigators. It's an old fat man bike, they call it a "Comfort bike". That's a lie. A Moto Guzzi Nevada is a 'Comfort bike".

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  9. Bike snob much? Most people I know that want to buy a bike go to Target or Walmart and buy a $79.99 bike. If they decide they like riding, or start getting into it buy a more expensive bike. Like a $300 Trek 820 (What I bought).

    So bad mouthing a $400 bike because it is a lower model is just....... wierd.

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  10. Actually, 400 is about the low end of OK quality bikes. A target or Walmart bike is not so good.(I can usually destroy one in the store just by sitting on it) A Canondale frame only can easily be a grand, and when you get into the high end shit, it's tall cash. Nothing to do wiht snobbery, everything to do with decent equipment. You can buy a nice Taurus Judge for around $500. Will it do the same job as a new Ed Brown custom? Probably not, unless you have papers blowing around your office.

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  11. The things at Walmart or Target are simply BSOs (Bicycle Shaped Objects) not actual bikes. Those of us that know better are going to badmouth them to no end. (Besides, they're freakin' dangerous. I don't like riding something that'll fall apart underneath me.)

    Og is dead on about comparing a $400 Trek rig to something costlier too. Although I'd probably use the Judge as the analog to the BSOs... I can't stand those things.

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  12. He could afford a Kona and even call it Hawaiian, but he's demonstrably clueless about velocipedes so forget about Canyon-whales. What he's really accustomed-to is a sedan chair, but a rickshaw will do in a pinch.

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  13. Further proof he's cluless: He's using the small chainring and small sprocket, putting the most stress possible on the drivetrain while simultaneously making it difficult to accelerate. Wait, is that a metaphor for his economic policies?

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  14. Alex,

    "Bike snob much?"

    New here much?

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  15. Tam, many of the people that picture was aimed at can't even spell "bicycle", and certainly wouldn't notice the things you notice.

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  16. (cf. Any campaign trail hunting trip. Unless you're Dick Cheney and actually bag a lawyer...)

    This remains my favorite moment of the Bush Years.

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  17. Alex,

    ...and just to show what a heartless bike-snobby bitch I am, here's the end of my Wally World "mountain bike" experiment...

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  18. You'd think Dukakis' tank escapade would've been object lesson enough for all similar dorks...

    AT

    wv: mightylo...how low are my political expectations?

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  19. >It wasn't a comfy as a serious touring bike, not as off-road capable as a mountain bike and managed to be heavier and slower than both.

    Wait, I thought a "hybrid" bike was a 90s era mountain bike, no suspension, where someone curb-shoppes it or buys it at goodwill for like $15, and puts non-knobby tires on it for mostly on pavement use.

    Keeps you from doing the "flop and chop" on an old friction-shifting 10-speed or throwing your back out by trying to match the posture of a tour-de-france rider,

    WV afeing - what you do to the chopped off pieces of handlebar on a "flop and chop". You 'afeing' them away.

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  20. I will note that daughter's bicycle- bought at Wally World for college use- had a problem one day. Turned out not to be a big deal, just needed to tighten up and lock the piece that holds the crank & bearings in place, but checked the bearings just to be safe and the damn things were dry. I don't mean dry lubed, I mean DRY.

    It got her through college, but what kind of cheapassery idea is not even bothering to grease the bearings?

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  21. A 80$ bike...

    (shudder)

    I once saw a bike like that. It nearly fell apart after a paltry 30 kilometer, 800m elevation change trip.

    A $200 bike I once had lasted me about 14,000 km. I changed the wheels once, though, and bought about $50 worth of brakepads for it.

    The gear-shifting never worked properly on that one, though.. but it took me lots of places.

    Now I have a $1000 bike, and am not happy with it. Makes wierd sounds of unclear origin sometimes(spokes?) and the damned disc hydraulic brakes are devilishly tricky to adjust at home unlike the plain old brakes.

    @Og
    The Judge is a silly gun. If it were 20 gauge and could use full length shells.. maybe it'd be interesting. Dunno.

    The question is, how much worse than an $1200 Ed Brown custom is a $400 .45 CZ-75 clone.

    It seems likely to me that most people can't really use the better guns, as they shoot so badly that even a Glock is okay for them.

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  22. "pdb said...

    (cf. Any campaign trail hunting trip. Unless you're Dick Cheney and actually bag a lawyer...)

    This remains my favorite moment of the Bush Years."

    No, no, no. Any proper hunter knows that if you wound it, you've got to track it down and finish it off. You can't let some poor critter flop around the woods in pain.

    Oh, wait. We're talking about a lawyer. Objection withdrawn.

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  23. >>Maybe hybrid bikes are like pistol caliber carbines in that way.

    Yeah, that sounds about right. And a good cyclocross bike is like a SOCOM 16: functional, brutal, and very, very multi-purpose.

    I never really was into hybrids, though can see Tam having one. But would that schlub in the picture PLEASE air his tires and properly adjust his saddle height?

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  24. Firehand: "It got her through college, but what kind of cheapassery idea is not even bothering to grease the bearings?" That might be just a slipup that got past quality control. A friend of mine once bought a brand new, extra large and fancy pickup truck. The manual transmission didn't sound right. It turned out there wasn't a drop of oil in the tranny.

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  25. I love it when politicians try to get down with the people. i think it was Algore I saw in a factory wearing a brand new, pressed, button down brown "work shirt". These guys need to send their people into town to film the lumpenprols at work and see what they really wear. Then again, a politician in a paint spattered Van Halen t shirt would make me laugh even harder.

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  26. A lead-sled Schwinn Varsity got me through four years of UC Santa Cruz before I got a car. I put fat tires on it and BMX handlebars to deal with the vacant lots and jumps.

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  27. The Obama picture is from a Martha's Vineyard vacation either during the campaign or early in year one. The bike is probably a rental.

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  28. Nekkid Chick and unidentified antique weapon? Gimme a date so I can research it!

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  29. http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/23053-2/kiss5966.jpg

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  30. I sometimes wonder, if we weren't better off with aristocrats. At least they didn't feel the strange need to pretend that they were "Men of the People".

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  31. I bought a slightly used Raleigh Super Grand Prix in 1982. It was my recreational transportation around town for three years. When I moved to a smaller town it became my commuting vehicle for almost a decade. I put over 20,000 miles on that bike. Other than tires, break pads and saddle the rest of the bike is original equipment. Its not how much you pay that's important - but that you buy decent quality equipment and take good care of it.

    Oh, and never let some dweeb politician have his picture taken with it. They will ruin it forever.

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  32. "Look, I'm a real person!"

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  33. Gnarly: No, it's "I'm a real boy!" lol.

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  34. Oleg, my guess would be that it's one of those Bannerman rebuilds with a Springfield barrelled action in a refitted 1917 Enfield stock. My Grandfather was running them in Central America back between the wars.

    As for the lady, I can't really guestimate the provenence, but the scenery is lovely.

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  35. Tam - You know how when Oleg puts up a picture of some nekkid chick holding a weird antique gun you've never heard of...

    I call that "a good day".

    ;-)

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  36. Ed, you are correct! As for the lady, she's a Nashville singer and music writer (good enough to live by it) and got into Playboy at 31 after already having kids.

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  37. I always thought it was kind of odd, by a similar token, when "The Media" was having their belly laughs at Bush because he crashed his mountain bike and fell off. Cyclists fall off bicycles, and they crash 'em too. If you've never come off one, you're either really careful and also really lucky, or you aren't riding for the ride.

    If you're riding for fun and fitness, you're pushing things a bit harder. You have water bottle cages, you might have a computer, you might have a rack, and you have probably laid it down and eaten some dirt more than once unless you're awfully new.

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