Monday, August 01, 2011

"Do This." "Don't Do That." Can't You Read The Signs?

So in the wee hours of Sunday morning, we trailed the ambulance carrying Mom X to St. Nearby hospital.

It went roaring down a tunnel and we parked in the little lot right near the Emergency Room entrance. Walking briskly up to the doors we started passing signs...
St. Nearby is a Tobacco-Free Campus!
"Like hell it is," I thought, "There's some right here in my pocket."
This Is A Knozone Area! No Idling!
Because when some parent comes screaming up to these doors in the family bus with their kid horking up blood on the passenger seat, air quality alerts are the first thing on their mind. But I jerked up short at the one on the door. Under the familiar circle-slash around a gun and a knife was the legend
No Weapons Allowed Except For Law Enforcement Personnel. Packages May Be Searched At Any Time.
Now, in Indiana, this sign has about the legal weight of a Doonesbury strip. However, if the deputy inside had an IQ greater than a turnip, he'd surely divine the purpose of the oversized unbuttoned chambray shirt on a muggy July night, and I didn't feel like getting banished from the Woolworth's and further screwing up Bobbi's night... "I'll wait out here." (Because, really, what bad things have ever happened in a big city ER at 0230 on a Sunday morning?)

No guns. No tobacco (and that's not No Smoking, kids; that's No Tobacco.) No idling your car. I'm sure the hospital's HR department's Workplace Diversity policies were very up-to-date and that the cafeteria had a selection to suit any vegan, gluten-free, heart-healthy, halal palate...

I started to break out in hives.

I felt like an extra in Demolition Man; I was afraid to use the bathrooms because I didn't know what the three seashells were for. It was as if, since I refused to go to California, the world was bringing California to me. That's what this place, and all those other places just like it: Schools, government buildings, Fortune 500 campuses, were... little inkblots of California, slowly spreading their plague of signs across flyover country.

It was 80 degrees and muggy, but I goosebumped up anyway.

92 comments:

  1. If the signs were not posted in Spanish, Tagalog, Hindi and cuneiform I would write an indignant letter of protest the facilities Minister of Diversity and Love.

    But that's just me.

    Gerry

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  2. Some people need that gluten-free thing (re: Celiac disease, which my wife has). It's a matter being allergic, same as peanuts or shellfish to others. The only difference is whether the person across the table notices, or the person after you in the Small Reading Room.

    Now, as for vegans... well. Pfft that.

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  3. The vast majority of those signs are created by lawyers and come from the insurance carrier. They are not there to keep guns/tobacco/whatever away, they are there to reduce liability and give them an excuse to throw you out. Since the penalty is being asked to leave, and there is no real downside UNLESS you refuse to leave (and even then, you get a minor lecture) ignore the damn signs.

    ReplyDelete
  4. In the Metro Detroit area, some hospitals have a whole TSA setup with metal detectors and everything...

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  5. When the wife was in the Epilepsy monitoring unit I was keeping her company, and she was more-or-less fried from multiple days with no sleep and lots of seizures so she was staring at the wall, and I was looking at gun porn on her laptop.

    One of the orderlies who I believe was from Haiti noticed that I was looking at pictures of guns and was a bit upset.

    "Why would anybody want a gun?" he asked.

    I mentioned that two weeks earlier a schizophrenic had gone off his meds in this very hospital and attempted to kill his doctor. With luck there was a guy in to see a relative saw the scene and popped the knife-wielding psycho in the noggin with his lawfully carried pistol.

    (of course the news latched on that his day job was as an armed security guard, of course no mention that he was off the clock and just visiting a family member)

    It never came up that there was a 1911 under my coat for that very reason.

    There was also a pack of smokes in my pocket...don't tell my wife!

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  6. Re the chambray shirt on a July night: "We would not worry so much what others think of us, if we realized how seldom they do." (Ethel Barrett)

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  7. Incidents like this always remind me of the comment by a friend who worked as a fly-fishing guide in Colorado on the difference between his Texan clients and his Californian clients, to wit:

    "Texans just want to have fun. Californians want you to be like them."

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  8. < when some parent comes screaming up to these doors in the family bus with their kid horking up blood on the passenger seat >

    That's not what ERs are for. ERs are for 1) dispensing narcotics to people pretending to have headaches, but only after a government-financed CT scan 2) shelter/ac/heat and a bite to eat for the homeless 3) dispensing common sense health information to people without any - as in, "yeah, eating spare ribs is gonna make your gallbladder act up."

    Dealing with actual health emergencies is way down the list - less than 5% of ER patients in most hospitals.

    Alath
    Carmel IN

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  9. Alath,

    What this planet needs is a 20-ft. flying predator.

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  10. I assume that you're unarmed when you come down here to IUPUI's Dental School, hmmm?

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  11. Back in 'the day', men wore sport coats and suit jackets in all manner of weather for the expressed purpose of concealing their enormous sweat stains.
    I think in a humid environ, a chambray shirt serves the same function.
    Don't you?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Tam, I mean no disrespect nor insult whatever, but I'm comfortably certain that the deputy saw you and Bobbi together (y'all don't look related) and came to a different conclusion altogether concerning your choice of an unbuttoned oversized chambray shirt; and reaching that conclusion, considered you both harmless.

    Or he was, like everyone is at 0400 on a Sunday morning, not at his circadian best.

    gvi

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  13. Reminds me of High School when I used to put firecrackers in my pocket just for the thrill of breaking the rules.

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  14. Anyone that smokes or is otherwise addicted to tobacco is a slave. Though, I am sure you can quit at any time, right?

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  15. Anonymous at 12:58.

    Damn, man, that's funny. That's like the funniest shit I've ever heard. Did you come up with that yourself? Or did you hire a professional?

    You see, comrade, we must ban smoking. We must all be healthy to build the Ten Thousand Year People's Democratic Republic!

    ReplyDelete
  16. "Anyone that smokes or is otherwise addicted to tobacco is a slave."

    That doesn't even merit a response, taxpayer.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Many places that are open to the public, like malls and hospitals, have a policy of "No weapons."

    I have a personal policy that I will carry a handgun with me anywhere it is legal to do so.

    Guess which policy wins?

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  18. "Anyone that smokes or is otherwise addicted to tobacco is a slave." "but whatever vice I choose is pure and desireable" There, anon, I fixed it for you.

    When I am elevated to God King, the first thing I intend to do is force new and undesireable addictions on those who disdain others for having them.

    Oh, and shoot the Dutch.

    ReplyDelete
  19. That doesn't even merit a response, taxpayer...

    Remember that when you're sucking on oxygen at age 57.

    Taxes don't kill people. Not directly at least.

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  20. "Remember that when you're sucking on oxygen at age 57."

    Argumentum ad boogieman? Really? Is that the best you've got?

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  21. "Remember that when you're sucking on oxygen at age 57."

    yep. Everyone who smokes always ends up in an oxygen tent. Are you deliberately obtuse, or just likke poking bears? Tell us your pet vices that we may ridicule them as well, mammas boy. I haven't eviscerated a troll in a while.

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  22. (two bucks says anon loves him some hemp, which is good for you because it's "natural")

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  23. Anonymous @ 2:36,
    Time to put down your bong and run upstairs from the basement. Mom made cookies!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I love to see people defend smoking like this. Slaves! It's your choice, smoke away. Leaves more for the strong and healthy. Unless I get hit by a bus, which I am sure you're all hoping for.

    Sorry, no hippie here. Why would you knowingly shorten your life with something everyone knows is horrible for them?

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  25. I bet Tam doesn't even smoke in her own house...am I correct? Don't want that nasty smell all over you?

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  26. Anon, please find another bridge to crawl under. Nobody here cares what you think.

    jf

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  27. I think Tam is the younger, female version of Andy Rooney!

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  28. "Why would you knowingly shorten your life with something everyone knows is horrible for them?"

    Because the faster it kills me, the less time I have to spend putting up with your whining.

    I think I'll go spark up another one right now.

    Calgon, take me away!

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  29. I would just pop my nicotine gum at them in a situation like that. I do wonder, though, if that means it's ok to suck the vapors of an electronic cigarette there.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Many of our country's sailors have performed great feats of arms while wearing the blue chambray, in 5"-38 mounts, in the back seats of SBDs, in Central Station operating the Ford computer, screwing the safety valves shut in Sammy B.'s boiler room, and in a multitude of other ratings and places.

    Blue Chambray is the shirt of heroes.

    Recent Navy uniform, not so much.

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  31. So answer this question...if you know that cigarettes are bad for you, why do you smoke? The evidence is astounding as to its effects on health.

    If you're going to defend smoking, then why don't you smoke in the house?

    ReplyDelete
  32. Dear Anon: A world in which you're not allowed to do things which might be bad for you is called a zoo.

    Enjoy your cage.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Why is it anyone's business if anyone else smokes or not?

    Maybe Tam smokes to keep the werewolves away.

    Maybe tobacco plants killed her parents, and this is how she gets her revenge.

    Who cares?

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  34. Anon: Or you could stop being a sandy vagina, man up and refuse to pay other people's medical bills.

    Also, fuck gluten. I like my feces to stay where they belong, on the OUTSIDE of my body.

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  35. Stuart the Viking4:19 PM, August 01, 2011

    My understanding is that down here in Florida, generally "No Guns" signs like that don't hold much water (as long as you leave if they tell you to leave). Except, enshrined in a little corner of gun lawdom is a law that forbids firearms from any place where mental health treatment is done. Since hospitals (as far as I know) generally perform some form of mental health evaluations, they become sort of a grey area that would have to be sorted out in court if Officer Obie decided to throw his anti-gun weight around. I generally just avoid going to hospitals for this reason.

    s

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  36. Tam, a hint/suggestion...

    Find a jersey for a minor league baseball team. Preferably from somewhere distant. They breath well, don't hardly print at all, and will at most invite a brief discussion of the sport. And if you watch any reasonably busy place for any length of time somebody will wander by in a baseball jersey so it won't stand out.

    Teams to consider:
    Modesto Nuts (Their mascot appears to be an unshelled almond with googly eyes)
    Albuquerque Isotopes (I'm sure Lab Rat and Sting Ray could help out there)
    Anything "retro" (I'm sure somewhere on the interwebs you can but a Brooklyn Dodgers replica)

    As another "pro" on the list, an unusual jersey is a great way to identify yourself to the popo via the 911 operator. Forget giving a description of height, weight, hair, t-shirt, jeans, yada yada. How likely is it there will be anybody else around wearing a Montgomery Biscuits (real team, I swear) jersey?

    Personally, I love my Birmingham Barons jersey. Gives good casual concealment and lets me acknowledge my old home town.

    BGM

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  37. wfgodbold,

    Where should I send your first prize (a giftwrapped Intarwebz)?

    Bacon killed my parents. Bacon and whisky. I shall consume them all.

    wfgodbold said... 3:47 PM, August 01, 2011

    Maybe Tam smokes to keep the werewolves away.

    Maybe tobacco plants killed her parents, and this is how she gets her revenge.

    ReplyDelete
  38. "Why would you knowingly shorten your life with something everyone knows is horrible for them?"

    Like, say....Oxygen?

    ReplyDelete
  39. I don't smoke. Smoking and drinking probably contributed to the early demise of my father at 63 yrs. But yet I'll fight for the right of others to as they damm well please in this respect.

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  40. Back when I worked security for Big City Hospital Corporation©, we could kick out persons for various reasons of acting the fool. We could even then threaten them, if they returned, with the seven levels of doom implicit in an arrest for criminal trespassing (or at least a citation to appear in court at a later, to be determined date).

    But curiously, no matter what social faux pas they had committed to earn such ire, it was irrelevant if they returned to actually, you know, receive medical care.

    In other words, unless one really enjoys the food in the hospital cafeteria, getting kicked out of the hospital has no real meaning since you can still go in and get your boo-boos treated.

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  41. Anyone who bitches about people smoking, or otherwise trolls blogs about the same is a slave to their defective personality.

    Thought, I'm sure you can go on meds to get that treated, right?

    ReplyDelete
  42. The "No Tobacco "in place of "no Smoking" makes sense when you factor in the chew.
    Spit bottles left sitting around and having to clean it out of toilets and sinks.
    If they'll do it in other peoples houses they'll do it in the hospital.

    Glenn

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  43. No, not that anonymous, another anonymous.

    "I don't smoke. Smoking and drinking probably contributed to the early demise of my father at 63 yrs. But yet I'll fight for the right of others to as they damm well please in this respect."

    My grandfather died from emphysema from smoking three packs of Camels a day and working as a fireman before they had breathing apparatus so I don't smoke.

    That said, if Tam wants to smoke or shoot straight caffeine into her veins or anything else she wants to do that doesn't hurt anyone else, is none of my damn business and none of anyone else's as well.

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  44. What this planet needs is a 20-ft. flying predator.

    Hear, hear!! And oh, do I have some suggestions for hors d'oeuvres!! (As I am sure we all do.)

    As for vices, my maternal grandfather was in the Army during the Spanish-American war, and contracted rheumatic fever. As this was in the days before antibiotics, it was then common practice to "leave them for dead" with only a canteen of water. If they made it, good; if they didn't, too bad.

    The disease damaged his heart. After his recovery, doctors said he could never smoke or drink hard liquor ever again. His attitude was that there was never a doctor that knew what he was talking about, and started and ended his days with a cigar and a glass of whiskey. Later, doctors said that habit was probably why he lived to be 87!!

    So to each their own...the troll can be a vegan if he wants, leave my steaks and Diet Pepsi Wild Cherry alone!!

    cap'n chumbucket

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  45. I'm Leatherneck, don't shoot!

    little inkblots of California, slowly spreading their plague of signs across flyover country.

    Damn, Tam: that's some great stuff. Your adrenaline must still be elevated. You didn't ban that nosybody did you? Let the school have their feeding frenzy, please.

    Leatherneck

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  46. I worked (as a second job) at a place like that for 7 MONTHS, very long months. My boss was the original obsessive compulsive diversity, kumbaya, zero tolerance / zero common sense rule nazi.

    I took some small pleasure in knowing that I had a gun (either on my or in my personal bag) every day I worked.

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  47. The problem with a 20-foot flying predator is that too many people would treat it as a wonderful trophy to put up on the wall. There wouldn't be too many of them left in very short order.

    wv: ensest. Not going there.

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  48. "(Because, really, what bad things have ever happened in a big city ER at 0230 on a Sunday morning?)"

    Sadly, quite a bit of bad things.

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  49. No smokes/chews inside? The main hospital here has a sign by the front door, no smoking within 300 feet. Ah, but I know at least four other entrances with no signs, and hang there while waiting for a triage nurse or doctor. The building across the street, physician offices and labs, at least one doctor`s office will give you a pager so you can go outside "To have a lollipop" - or smoke.

    No guns, well, I am in Rhode Island...

    =======
    "So answer this question...if you know that cigarettes are bad for you, why do you smoke?"

    Because I like it. I do not even have THAT excuse for drinking water, one tablespoon in the airway can "drown" you. And you do know nitrogen, which will kill if you breathe only that, is over seventy percent of the air at sea level? Why on earth do you breathe such dangerous stuff, in such huge quantities?

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  50. Roberta X on break6:38 PM, August 01, 2011

    Tam doesn't smoke in the house because I'd make her move out. --And because she grew up after smoking indoors had become gauche.

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  51. Tam- they ARE propagating, one state and one entity at a time... Last Kalifornia trip I counted NINE signs about hazards in the hotel (no smoking on the ENTIRE premises, including the parking lot). Interestingly, there was a butt kit about three feet off the property line :-)

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  52. RE: the chambray shirt

    He would probably assume that you were an intravenous addict trying to cover your tracks.

    "Don't tell the cop I'm licensed to carry; he thinks I'm a heroin addict!"

    What a world.

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  53. When my credit union posted a No Guns sign I sent a letter from a fake law firm (NOT Dewey, Chetham and Howe) requesting they sign a letter accepting full responsibility for "my clients safety and well being while on your property and to insure the same level of protection he can provide himself while armed pursuant Virginia code ... blah-blah-blah ..."
    Sent it registered mail. Two days later the No Gun signs were gone.
    Wonder what they would have done had they signed the letter and had it returned due to "no such address."

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  54. Roberta X on break,

    "Tam doesn't smoke in the house because I'd make her move out. --"

    Tam doesn't smoke in the house because it's not her house and property rights are sacrosanct.

    Even if it was her house, Tam wouldn't smoke in it because her roommate wouldn't like it and Tamara has these things called "manners", unlike certain busybody anonymouse commenters.


    Anonymouse,

    "If you're going to defend smoking..."

    I don't have to defend shit to you. Blow.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Remember, Tam's not supporting the tobacco farmers, she's burning their crops.
    Vive la Tam!
    :-D

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  56. I've seen smaller hills picked to die on, but usually only by creatures carrying diazinon crystals.

    (And let us know if you want a 'topes jersey. You can even light up in the living room should you decide to pick it up in person.)

    ReplyDelete
  57. So, people who intake self-metered doses of nicotine in order to treat ADD (as nicotine is one of the few proven drugs for ADHD that does not have side effects like nausea, so people can actually eat and keep food down, and happens to actually be affordable even without health insurance...) Nah, you'll just throw them under the bus, because you've declared they're slaves. How dare they use a drug you don't like?

    Since you refuse to let it occur to you that nicotine can be used for more reasons than blind addiction, I can reasonably identify you as an ignorant bigot.

    If you wish to not be an ignorant bigot, educate yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Anon against smoking -

    The three most dangerous common substances on the planet are oxygen, flourine, and chlorine. All three are so reactive that they are used in rocket engines and motors. Any one of them, in very small quantities, will kill you deader than dead in a very short amount of time. All three of them are commonly used every single day by millions of people.

    Tabbaco smoke - not so much.

    BoxStockRacer

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  59. @Stretch: I want a copy of that letter for my records! Too many ninnies around here.

    @Tam: Remember that nicotine addiction is a Native American attempt to get rid of the us, the Conquistadores. (I heard that from a Lakota.):)

    @Anonymous: Your comments are off topic & BLECH!

    I am not a fan of smoking, but it's your life, Tam. If I'm ever in the same vicinity, I'll try to stay upwind.

    I hope Roberta's Mom is better. It can be harrowing. I wish all y'all the best!

    Ulises from CA
    (DON'T JUDGE ME BY MY STATE!)

    ReplyDelete
  60. "Garrett Lee said...
    The problem with a 20-foot flying predator is that too many people would treat it as a wonderful trophy to put up on the wall. There wouldn't be too many of them left in very short order."


    Not if it had a human-sized brain, they wouldn't. :-)

    BoxStockRacer

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  61. "Tam said...
    Alath,

    What this planet needs is a 20-ft. flying predator."


    Woo-Hoo! YES! DRAGONS! (with a human-sized brain). Been saying this for years. Always thought it would be cool to have a native population of DRAGONS (as opposed to, you know, just regular dragons) take up residence in downtown Seattle. To thin the herd. Of lawyers. And political types. And Hippies.

    Semi-off/on topic. Back in Teddy R's administration, Teddy R. was lamenting to the leader of what is now Red China about the out-of-control population growth of non-native mountain goats in his newly-minted Olympic National Park on the Olympic Peninsula of Washington State.

    Said leader of China offered to send Teddy a breeding pair of Siberian Tigers to take up residence in the Olympic National Park to help control the goat population.

    Teddy R. declined the offer.

    Siberian Tigers. *Sigh* what coulda' been. :->

    BoxStockRacer

    WV: cizat - Did you cizat dragon eat that hippie?

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  62. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  63. Watching people try to defend smoking is hilarious! Thanks to all involved for the best laff I've had today.

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  64. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  65. I say, Tam's being ultra-Patriotic, paying her taxes for ciggies and guns!

    re: chambray shirts: most hospitals I've been inside for any time tend toward being walk-in iceboxes, so bringing your own long-sleeves shirt sounds like a smart start to your visit.

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  66. "Remember, Tam's not supporting the tobacco farmers, she's burning their crops."

    No, she's contributing to the tax base.

    "Vive la Tam!"

    Oh. Yah. You dam betcha fer sure!

    And I don't obey the "No Gunz" signs which don't conform to the state-mandated format.

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  67. Timmeeh,

    "Watching people try to defend smoking is hilarious!"

    Not a tenth as funny as watching Canuckistanians who think they've seen somebody "defend smoking". Thanks for the best laff I've had this year.

    All I've defended is people minding their own goddam business, which is obviously a foreign concept to your round-bacon-eating arse.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Mattexian,

    "I say, Tam's being ultra-Patriotic, paying her taxes for ciggies and guns! "

    No, but Tam's not being delusional about her involuntary servitude. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  69. As I recall, Timmeeh is the same fellow who thinks Americans are oafish for not bowing to some other country's royalty.

    Yeahhhhh....He's the lad I turn to for tips on how to enjoy one's life.

    Stuff the sarcasm for a second. Frankly, the people I turn to for tips on how to enjoy life ar the French. Their politics is appalling, their military is brave to a fault but until recently universally poorly led, their art is incomprehensible and their food bizarre. But the contribution - and it's a noble contribution - to the common stock of the world is how to live pleasantly.

    They didn't invent bread - they made it tasty. They didn't invent wine - they made it worth drinking. They didn't invent women - they made them worth looking at.

    And they smoke like chimneys.

    A nation could do far worse.

    Ahh, Timmeeh...would that you were born a Quebecois...your outlook - and input here - would be so much less tiresome.

    gvi

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  70. If you think the spread of Kalifornication is bad in Indy, did you know that, as requirement for employment in Many Cleveland Hospitals, you, as the Employee, must agree to be "Smoke Free" AND if you are caught Smoking, even across the street on a Public Sidewalk, that is Grounds for Termination? Rather Funny, considering the City paid for the New Browns Football Stadium by an Increase in Tobacco and Alcohol Taxes, yet guess where one can't smoke?

    Hope Momma X is doing better.

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  71. Timmeeh:

    Is that a Starfleet uni you're wearing in that there photo?

    Could go a ways towards explaining the world-view.

    :-)

    BoxStockRacer

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  72. On the Jerseys: Somebody who has a link from Baen.com is advertising Harrington Treecats baseball shirts.

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  73. Guys, let us remember that most, if not ALL of the jackass, liberty-robbing laws here in the state of California are written by the carpetbaggers who came here... and that most of us who ACTUALLY live here despise them far more than you could ever imagine.

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  74. I work about a mile and a half from Isotopes Stadium (or whatever the hell they call it). If you decide you want one, holler.

    A fair number of locations (sadly, including the hospital my wife works at) have those noxious little "handgun in slashed circle" stickers on the door. I waver back and forth between printing up ones with a brain inside the circle slash, labelled "No Weapons", and ones with a yellow Star of David inside the circle, depending on how vicious I'm feeling about pointing out the bigotry of places that have such things posted.

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  75. ""Garrett Lee said...
    The problem with a 20-foot flying predator is that too many people would treat it as a wonderful trophy to put up on the wall. There wouldn't be too many of them left in very short order."

    Not if it had a human-sized brain, they wouldn't. :-)

    BoxStockRacer"

    You mean a human proportional sized brain. A human sized brain in a 20 ft pred would be just enough to get it through basic functions and how to hunt. A 20 ft flying pred would need a brain 4 or 5 times our size to be as intellegent.

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  76. I think Tam really WANTS to quit but can't. She knows it's a disgusting habit. Try harder Tam, you'll kick it eventually.

    I love how earlier in the thread it was "Anon doesn't agree with us, therefore he must be a bong-smoking pothead" Nice logic.

    As for rights...it's also my right to shove that cigarette up your spinster ass for blowing smoke in my direction. Smoke inside your own place away from the healthy people that CHOOSE not to breathe your poison.

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  77. Yeah, let's just legalize heroin and crack while we're at it! Let the people do as they choose as long as they aren't hurting others.

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  78. Anon 10:21,

    "I think Tam really WANTS to quit but can't."

    Wow, all this and psychic too!

    Aren't you afraid that those pesky billy goats are getting across your bridge while you're wasting time here minding my business?

    "Yeah, let's just legalize heroin and crack while we're at it!"

    Yes. And...?

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  79. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. - H.L. Mencken

    Anon 10:21, why do you think Tam wants to blow smoke in your direction?

    Is she near enough to your location to do this?

    Why are you so angry at a person you've probably never met? Why do you let other people have the power to make you so upset you use pejoratives like "spinster" with them?

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  80. Wait, "spinster" is a pejorative now?

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  81. It just blows me away that someone with such a holier than thou attitude toward the world is a nicotine ADDICT. The hypocrisy is simply astounding. Kinda reminds me of Rush Limbaugh.

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  82. Sheesh, what's up with these holier-than-thou trolls who feel the need to tell people how to live? "...first against the wall when the revolution comes."

    Sorry to hear that Mom X had to go to the ER. Hope she's ok.

    But Tam, I totally get what you're saying about random prohibitions. Perhaps that's what happens when people feel the need to try to control other people, or perhaps it's just an artifact of our litigious society. Still, I can't help but wish we had a frontier where people who didn't want to play by the dipshits' rules could go to be free(r). That used to be the West. Unfortunately, as you noted, CA is spreading their plague, and even MT, ID, and WY are subject to the insidious, creeping Federal government.

    And the government is full of those bastards who want to tell you what you can and cannot do.

    Too bad a bunch of well-heeled, pro-freedom folks haven't yet gotten together to buy a large island or small country where the anti-gun, big-government, heel-and-obey scumbags can't go. Of course, then there is the opinion that "why should we leave, they're the ones who suck!" Unfortunately, these days there're too many of Them to get rid of....

    ::G

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  83. ...yes, like "vegan", "halal palate" and "heart-healthy" are now pejoratives. Not that I'm against bacon.

    Also funny is that a hippie-hater is using lyrics from the Five Man Electrical Band in the title to this blog post.

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  84. Some of my favorite people are spinsters, such as the one who keeps this blog, her roomie, the Deacon at my church, Florence King, my bitter-Sweety, and etc and so forth and usw.

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  85. Poor anon. His mommy must have devastated him, asking him to run and buy pall malls for her on her deathbed. Then there was that endless stream of uncles, promising bicycles, candy, video games, so long as he kept his mouth shut.

    You can still smell them, can't you anon, blowing that hated smoke in your face while one calloused hand covered your mouth, and the other unzipped your pants, horny fingernails scraping against your prepubescent gonads, a little tickle and then the vile, sweaty aroma as they unzipped their pants.

    Go get your boyfriend to hold you and rock you to sleep, it'll be ok.

    If you were an actual man, and had the intestinal fortitude to make these asinine comments under your own name, or link to your own blog, you might have gotten a little less harsh treatment. Frankly, no human exists who does not carry his or her own addiction to some stimulant or intoxicant or comination of both. Tam, like all sane humans, has her share just as do I, and every other commenter here. Though I no longer smoke, I prefer the secondhand effluent of Tam's addiction, to the goat-felching ignorance that is yours.

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  86. Way to go, you really put me in my place OG. You nailed it. I'll take my toys and go home now.

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  87. Oh, and you forgot to mention that all the kids called me Piggy on the playground and that I got sand kicked in my face on the beach as a kid.

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  88. "all the kids called me Piggy"
    What you and your friends get up to is beyond my concern. Not being the kind of insufferable pricked you are, I don't care how you spend your free time.

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  89. Our signs up here in Washington State, -Extreme Northern California-
    All have numbers preceded by RCW or WAC. Thus if you carry there, they can confiscate all your worldly goods.

    Close reading of those laws shows they only apply to restaurants that serve alcohol.

    Am I gonna get my gat grabbed because of the alcohol pads?

    10 for x=1 to 1000
    20 print "Tam Rules!";
    30 next x
    99 end

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  90. Iz not baconz. Iz ham.

    Hope Mom X is feeling better.

    Smoke 'em if ya got 'em.

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