Friday, December 09, 2011

Sympathetic magic ...

The local news weather crew has been on the air since 0400, keeping snowmageddon away with their LIVE! SNOW TEAM COVERAGE!

Camera crews and reporters have been dispatched to protect all major intersections and freeway junctions from the threat of snow with their hawklike scrutiny, and so far it appears to be working, as the solitary snowflake that landed outside my window quickly died of embarrassment.

16 comments:

  1. It's probably the hot air and camera/lights.

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  2. Does anyone else remember a time when they didn't have a 'Breaking News!' interruption for a thunderstorm?

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  3. a watched snowmageddon never snowmageddons?

    s

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  4. ZOMG! Did anybody check to see if there's sufficient bread, milk, and TP in the stores??? GET A CAMERA CREW OVER THERE STAT!

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  5. I want to know just one thing: WHERE'S FEMA!? How are people supposed to LIVE like this!?

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  6. We've got a dusting in my neighborhood.

    Second time this year, but the last one melted within a day.

    Did the TV crews see Al Gore traveling through town? Or was there some other indication of upcoming snowfall?

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  7. Why is it people in Indiana have a craving for french toast during a snow emergency?

    And why the hell wouldn't someone who was actually worried about it not already have a couple boxes of dried milk, and flour and yeast to make their own bread?

    I can't have chickens in my neighborhood, but I can walk to someone who does.

    I really like snow and I'm tired of the teasing. Too bad there isn't a way to make it so news channels aren't rated for popularity, I'd say that is 90% of the problem with the news media. Don Henley called it.

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  8. 0400? Go back to bed!

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  9. It's that time of year again...

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  10. Snow? We're having real 'weather' over here - have you seen the blanket news coverage about 'Hurricane Bawbag'. It all started here:

    http://www.nominedeus.co.uk/?p=1403

    For the non-Glaswegians among you:

    bawbag

    Glasgow, Scotland origin, derogatory name given to one who is annoying, useless or just plain stupid. To compare one with such an ugly part of the male anatomy should be insult enough...
    "Look you fuckin' bawbag, you are about as useful as a tit with no nipple."

    Anyone would think we never had a bit of wind here, schools and offices closed, statements from government ministers and you can't walk more than ten yards in a straight line without bumping into a reporter or camera crew.

    Still at least our hurricanes get better names than yours :-)

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  11. (Geraldo cancels flight.)

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  12. "tit with no nipple."

    Between this and "fat Herman", I cry:

    Doctor, My Eyes.

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  13. 2:45 p.m. and the roads are slightly damp. We. Are. Toast.

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  14. "Live! From the Scene of Nothing Happening!"

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  15. Have they been crying about how "the official First Day of Winter" is still over a week away? I wanna smack our local weathergoobers with my F**kShelleileigh of Doom(TM, courtesy the Feral Irishman) every time they say that, just because we had (by my reckoning, late) our first freeze warning of the season. Don't worry, in six months, they'll be complaining about how "unseasonably" hot it is, and "the First Day of Summer" isn't here yet!

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