Sunday, February 26, 2012

True Confession...



The first time I saw the FedEx commercial with the singing frogs, I was gutted. Especially when the last happy little frog disappears...
Me: "Nooooo!"

RX: "The driver should have hit him with the clipboard."

Me: *feeling actual tears in my eyes* "How can you say that? The singing frog is so cute!"
The world would be a better place with little frogs that wore toadstool bonnets and sang "Lalalalalala!" is all I'm saying. Every time that last one disappears from the screen, I die a little inside, and I couldn't care less how many electric trucks FedUPS has.

PS: If you tell anybody that I teared up over cartoon frogs, I will be forced to Nancy Kerrigan your kneecaps.

36 comments:

  1. Don't you mean Jeff Gillooly the knee caps?

    Why meeeee! (Nancy's part)

    Gerry

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  2. If I see Tonya and Shane coming up the drive I will take appropriate knee preservation action :)

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  3. I'll keep your secret..it is cute. Then again, frog legs taste great.

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  4. I cannot comment due to the fact that my employer would break my knees for you.


    But yeah, that's a pretty good commercial. All we got is a hippie with a white board.

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  5. Well, as they say, it takes all kinds.

    :)

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  6. "....lalalala--" Splat!

    Look, I like me some Enchanted Forest as much as the next fan of Tolkien, C. S. Lewis and The Borrowers, but I want the FedEx man to keep his head in the game: get my stuff to me on time and not kill me dead in traffic. I'll spot him cartoon frogs if that's what it takes.

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  7. I think the hired thug was named Stant, Harding's bodyguard hired him. But, back to the funny:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pX4dTg-6YZA&NR=1&feature=endscreen

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  8. I've managed to not see that ad until now. I'm scarred for life.

    The sister of a friend was working as a volunteer at that event. Apparently, Kerrigan is such a control freak princess that the suspect list was pretty much "everyone associated with figure skating."

    Dear God, how I hate the new captcha system...

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  9. Nancy Kerrigan? Jeff Gillooly? I would have figured you for being a graven in stone traditionalist, when it came to a kneecapping.

    "Who's crying now, boyo?" *phut* *phut*

    A poor knee's only small hope being that you loaded Winchester M-22™ and came up with that one in ten chance of a misfire.

    Mike James

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  10. I say we put cameras in the house and cars, and sell this as a reality series.

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  11. And the ending was off: why "save" an environment you have destroyed?

    FedEx - "We do not deliver to your address because it is more fun to make you walk around the neighborhood looking for your new iron lung!"

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  12. What caliber for singing frogs?


    Ummmm.....

    Come to think of it...
    What caliber for enraged, tire iron swinging Tamaras?

    BGM

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  13. never had enchanted frog's legs....

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  14. Calibre for singing Frogs:
    Less booze, more sleep

    Calibre for Enraged Tamara:

    Something that significantly out ranges whatever delights she keeps in her closet, also makes sure whatever it is is slaved to to a point defense radar because she'll be coming in fast and low.

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  15. And now we find out that beneath that FMJ-slinging exterior, Tam actually is a gurl who likes "cute" things.

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  16. I had not seen that before. Now that I have, all I can do is wonder what the f--k kind of drugs were being passed around that ad agency's creative dept. that day...maybe they were licking those toads?

    But speaking of hallucinations, I'd be quicker to believe in singing frogs and fairies than in electric trucks saving the planet. If the ex-feds think I'm that stupid, I think I'll stick with the guys in the nazi brownshirts for my shipping needs.

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  17. Tam, ya had me worried for a bit, but you came through with the "PS".

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  18. pawnbroker, when it's all said and done, I think Fred's electric trucks are gonna rank right up there with the "ZapMail" success stories.

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  19. Methinks Tam watched too many Saturday morning cartoons as a munchkin.

    Michigan J. Frog and Elmer/Sam had an impact.....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1vH2rjUshk

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  20. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1EuSwz1inw

    "cheap guns"

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  21. FedEx runs on biodiesel ... it takes one metric ton of singing frogs to make 80 gallons of fuel.

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  22. Tam,

    Thanks a bunch; guess I'll have to stick to the efficiency and self-sufficiency of the USPS...oh, wait. Sad aside is that one of the biggest electric boondoggles for them -on our dime of course- was based here in Sebring, right next to the airbase-cum-racetrack. They built a shitload of 'em in the 70's, and they were ready about the time the Big Oil Shortage abated. They never worked anyway but on the bright side the big parts auction after they folded kept the local golf cart shops supplied for years.

    I was going to give the ups effort you linked a pass based on this: they "pay for their extra expense in less than 3 years." But then there was this "In partnership with the US Environmental Protection Agency..." which puts the us right back in the ups.

    Still at least there's no battery bank involved in the hydraulic storage, so maybe there's some practical possibles in that approach.

    And you know I'm all about giving new tech a chance. ;)

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  23. Ow! Ow! Ow!
    Dammit. My knee caps may not be much but they're mine!
    Oh wait! Maybe I can get away before you can reach all the way down to my ground hugging knee caps. Well I could, if it weren't for these shoes...

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  24. y'all need to watch a flic called "bloodcar"...
    its about a car that's fueled with fresh human body's/blood...
    very interesting field of inquiry resulted from this movie as to whether it was feasible or not...
    there are some scientifical types that say it should work quite well...
    hmmm,china, india, south am, cent am, mexico, NYC, thats a lot of potential fuel right there... ;-P***

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  25. So...my takeaway from that commercial is that FedEx steals the magic from the world. Is that about right?

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  26. Inanity on a scale to rival that of the fed/gov. Getting coerced by by animated singing animals in the name of political correctness is no less heinous than Joe Camel "selling" butts to children. Zero emission trucks? pray tell where does the electricity come from ? Unless the elections are being stripped out of fairy flatulence it is required something be burned. Forget solar/wind with their performance you'd get exponentially more power from the fairies. Shit like this makes me retch.

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  27. www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYEld0NOo3c

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  28. Derfel Cadarn,

    You mean the commercial was ABOUT something? Huh.

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  29. I mean, about something other than "FedEx likes to make me cry by committing genocide on happy little animated forest critters"...

    FedEx: We kick puppies but, hey, check out our recycled packing materials!

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  30. They weren't "committing genocide on happy little animated forest critters". It's impossible to do such a thing, the "happy little animated forest critters" don't exist, in reality. Reality has no happy little animated forest critters. Reality is...ah, screw it.

    FedEx is trying to kill all of your little friends, who never hurt anyone. Somebody has to do something to stop FedEx, Tam. Not that I'm trying to start anything.

    Mike James

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  31. See, this is why the 19th Amendment was a bad idea. [runs away, dodging and jinking]

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  32. P.s. I wept at the ending when I read Old Yaller.

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  33. I assume this means FedEx was using wood-burning trucks until now.

    As for the frogs, I refuse to care if a few frogs happen to croak.

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  34. Mike James,

    Yes, I am well aware of that. I also know that there was no such thing as a dog named Ol' Yeller.

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  35. Tam,
    Google's home page is thinking of you right now.

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