Aside from my Crackberry, my knife is the most useful thing I carry with me on a daily basis. When I have to fly and can’t carry a knife, I feel like half a man. There’s nothing more annoying that sitting on a plane trying to open one of those little deli-airplane lunches you can buy on United without a knife. What am I supposed to do, tear at this packaging with my teeth like some kind of animal?When we left the Manchester airport and threw my luggage in the back of the Munchkin Bus, the first thing I did (after
and holster up my gat.Riding out the royal turnpike to the Duchy of Upper Cryogenica, from the rear of the vehicle, Lyra requested assistance in extracting her new plush baby seal (With Real Tail Wagging Action!) from its packaging. I nonchalantly extended a hand towards her and, with that implicit trust children have that adults can solve all their problems, she placed the toy in my hand.
I confidently examined the packaging, reached down to my right jeans pocket, and... uh-oh. I found myself forced to whimper "Uh, Marko, do you have a knife?" Which in itself is an inane question to me; what kind of adult goes about their business without a knife on their person?
I will never forgive the TSA for that moment.
I keep a 6" engineers rule in my computer bag. Its razor sharp on one side and ive never had it taken from me.
ReplyDeleteEver since the 12th of December 2009 there has been a single star-crimped Lake City 2000 30.06 brass casing in my pocket...it was fired in the salute at my father's funeral (he was a SeaBee in WWII) and it is a constant companion to me. It has left my pocket ONLY when I have flown on commercial airline flights because I fear it being viewed as a weapon of mass destruction by the same dimwitted TSA drones who allow me to board with at least two or three items which, while they have other purposes, are in my carryon mostly to be redistributed as handy weapons once I'm in the "safe zone" (you know, the place where California Pizza Kitchen won't give you a plastic knife to spread your butter because it's a weapon but they'll let you eat with a steel fork because it isn't.) The choice of possibly surrendering the casing and dealing with intense interroprobulation or being separated from it for a few hours is a no brainer...but making that piece of brass travel in steerage due to mouthbreathing stupidity really frosts my pumpkin.
ReplyDeleteOkay.....
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm missing something that should be obvious here but....
You couldn't/didn't toss a knife in the Poor Man's Pelican?
BGM
BGMiller,
ReplyDeleteNo, I purged the contents of pockets and purse into a freezer bag in my suitcase.
The sheer number of things I normally have in the turse or on my person that are no-gos for air travel is staggering. It comes to probably a couple pounds of knives, multitools, nail clippers, and even a spork.
I've never thought of an engineer's rule before, but I've found that my house key is pretty good for poking open a plastic bag or similar packaging. Although I'll admit that it's useless for dealing with all the heavier plastic and wires that toy maker use these days to lock down their gizmos.
ReplyDeleteTam, you made me laugh. I probably have a couple pounds of knives and similar objects on me at any time.
ReplyDeleteYour comment reminded me of sitting in the theater watching Mad Max, Beyond Thunderdome. When he went into Bartertown and had to surrender weapons, the pile kept growing,....my buddy turned to me and said "He travels like you do".
I'm astounded at the number of people that have no knife on them at any given time. Same for guns, but that's another story.
The only reason to travel with checked baggage is so that I can carry a knife after getting of a plane.
ReplyDeleteWhen I flew to St. Louis last month for the NRA convention, I wasn't even out of the airport before I had to bust out my Kershaw and my S&W tactical pen.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Caleb - I don't feel like a true adult without my complement of tools...
I fly a lot, and try not to check bags. It really sucks to not only be without a knife in the airport, but also for the few days I am in another city. Part of me is leaning very strongly towards checking a bag just for my knife. It seems ridiculous, but it is almost worth the hassle and the checked baggage charge.
ReplyDeleteRule #1 is always have a knife.
Jay;
ReplyDeleteOne should. The purpose of nany state paternalism (to puree a few metaphors) is to infantalize you.
But you knew that.
M
I fly a lot, and try not to check bags. It really sucks to not only be without a knife in the airport, but also for the few days I am in another city. Part of me is leaning very strongly towards checking a bag just for my knife. It seems ridiculous, but it is almost worth the hassle and the checked baggage charge.
ReplyDeleteRule #1 is always have a knife.
West, By God,
ReplyDeleteI'm already checking one for the gun; may as well check two.
Yeah, you have to have a knife.
ReplyDeleteTimes I have flown within the last decade have all been to states that (then) didn't have carry reciprocity with Indiana.
Okay, I did not like that, but I could cope. But to not have a knife? No way! My daily-carry knives went into a ziplock in a shoe at the top/front of my suitcase and were back in my pocket before I was out of the airport.
Never thought of Og's steel rule. That and/or a "green tweaker" mini screwdriver (on-and-off okay by TSA) would be a very great comfort.
Several times after flying and arriving elsewhere and not checking a bag I've stopped on the way to my hotel when a sporting goods store, Target or even Walmart presents itself and bought a decent cheap knife for 20 bucks.
ReplyDeleteWhen I go home, I either give it to whomever I was there to see, or leave it for the maid as an extra tip.
Matt
St Paul
I recall one of the novels put out by JPFO, an older Jewish protagonist who flew to the same cities on a regular basis, kept a safety deposit box in each town,to store his (ahem) emergency equip. & accutrements. Dan wesson revolvers, w/ spare barrels, in case he, you know, _used_ one......interesting concept. JohninMd(help?)
ReplyDeleteOh, and for some odd reason, he did'nt worry about no steenkin' licence...B-). JohninMd(help?)
ReplyDeleteI was raised that a person should always have a knife and means of making a fire on their person. When I don't have them it bugs the hell out of me.
ReplyDeleteMatches -- but not lighters -- were still allowed on planes the last time I checked Bob. I bought some -- and I don't smoke!
ReplyDelete(TSA and the airlines changes the rules frequently, so they might be verboten now.)
Back before I gave up consensual rape, err commercial flying, I used to pack a nice sharp piece of flint in one corner of my briefcase wall and a sharp-edged 'key' on my keychain. They worked well enough for the minor tasks until I could get to a WallyWorld camping section and purchase one of the $1 folding knives that they carry there. I would carry that for the time I was in town and usually left it for the maids with a note telling them it was free for the taking, or I gave it to the shuttle-bus driver just before debarking. Not the best solution but it worked.
ReplyDeleteAhem.
ReplyDelete"What kind of adult goes about their business without a knife on their person?"
Sheeple, criminals, liberals, people allowed access to Obama, and various combinations of the above.
People who have to hire out even minor repairs, because they have no idea how to work with their hands. It goes along with manipulating symbols without understanding the real world referents - that is, most academics, journalists, and other liberals.
ReplyDeleteI mind the time I left a comment on the blog of my favorite autistic synaesthetic housewife in Oz, who goes by Lili Marlene (incorrectpleasures.blogspot.com)
ReplyDeleteShe is a very sensible person in many ways, but batshit mental when it comes to knives. I mentioned that, as a labor of love, I had gotten out the Hard Arkansas stone and the diamond hone, to put a right sharp edge on the Sweety's old Girl Scout knife.
Lili was Shocked, Shocked! I tell you, to hear that "Girl Guides" in our country are allowed to have knives! I asked her about opening packages, and slicing apples, and things, but she was too horrified to listen to reason...
And here I thought that the Auties and Aspies were more rational than the Normals!
Well, we are also famously gullible. This is one of the reasons why I no longer have my inheritance.
But, Good Lord, a POCKETKNIFE?
A Girl Scout pocketknife?
Oh, markm, I live with one of those. He is a very interesting guy, has what amounts to three degrees in languages (Bachelor's, Master's, Defense Language Institute), worked for An Agency, owns what seems to be several tons of very interesting books, is my Brother in Christ and Best Drinking Buddy to boot, and has generously helped both me and mah kitteh in hard times, but as Heinlein wrote, he seems to have a hard time using a screwdriver without cutting himself.
ReplyDeleteDang, that was a run-on sentence, wannit? The guy it was about would shoot a right rocket up my behind, were he to read it. "Grammar Nazi" ain't even in it.
ReplyDeleteI miss my other housemate, the Afro-Caribbean guy who left a while back. He was the most normal and steady of the three of us.
Every time I am forced to fly I check a bag due to not being willing to part with my EDC essential tools. I hate the feeling of uncomfortable ill preparedness forced upon me by the nanny state whenever I have to partake of air travel.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite thing is the look my wife gets from less prepared adults when she pulls out her knife for something. Hell I freaked out my dad when I used my everyday folder to separate grapes at a family picnic. I told him this wasn't even as large I a can legally carry and then asked him if a filet knife would have made him felt better. He is famous for always having a super sharp filet knife (though admittedly not on his person at all times).
ReplyDelete