Look on the bright side of things: no matter how goofy we get over gymnastics this time around, nobody is going to make a movie where she plays a secret agent recruited to use her gymnastics-based martial arts skills* to wipe out a Third World dictator's kung fu army
. (Please God I hope not, at least.)*Gymnast Kurt Thomas was an obvious choice to play the hero in the cheesiest '80s action movie that wasn't Megaforce**: He developed a gymnastics move so badass that it's banned for being too dangerous! It is forbidden! Like the Lambada*** of gymnastics moves!
**Boy, a back-to-back screening of Megaforce and Gymkata would make for a great rainy day weekend of godawful '80s Velveeta, wouldn't it? Maybe with Iron Eagle if you had any popcorn left over...
***Speaking of '80s Velveeta...
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OK I have to admit I spent years wishing I had one of those Megaforce motorcycles with rockets on the handlebars.
ReplyDeleteI can't complain if it gets the texting, game console generation off the couch.
ReplyDeleteHey !!! Iron Eagle III had some great shots of a P-38 in action.
ReplyDeleteFootnotes with footnotes, I love it :)
ReplyDeleteDon't forget Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone from 1983, which along with cheesiness rivaling the best (stale) Velveeta has the advantage of being in glorious 80's 3D!
ReplyDeleteQuote from the movie: "Undress that one!... Slowly!" in 3D!
No real gymnastics, unfortunately.
I rarely watch the events. But comning from the point of veiw of a big ol' fella that used to run, lift and do arobics, I have to marvel at the strength those tiny gymnast have. Of course they don't weigh as much as my breakfast but still, lifting your own bidy weight is something twisting, flipping, flying and leaping woith your bossy weight is a whole 'nother universe of strength.
ReplyDeleteYou have to top Megaforce and Gymkata off with Big Trouble in Little China...
ReplyDeleteYes, but Gymkata and Megaforce were being serious, which is what makes them so awesome.
ReplyDeleteThe Japanese even had that turtle Gamera doing Gymkata ....
ReplyDeleteA movie that will go down in MST3K history ...
You should also add in "The Last Dragon", but that much cheese would have your pipes backed up for a week, if you know what I mean.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3n6oi0tUZ0&feature=youtu.be
ReplyDeleteGet you "ace hunter picture, signed, here
Wow, I think I am going to have to give some money,
Hope you never had to suffer through LaserBlast.
ReplyDeleteWhat's sad is I knew exactly what movie you were referring to, even before you named Kurt Thomas or the movie....
ReplyDeleteHow about "Corvette Summer" with Mark Hamil?
ReplyDeleteZOMG!!! I had forgotten all about those lemons...and I LIKE Velveeta (the cheese, not the movies). Now I have to get another gallon of brain bleach...
ReplyDeleteHairy Horseknuckle
Starcrash: The Adventures of Stella Star.
ReplyDeleteI'm convinced that the only way they got Christopher Plummer to cameo in this stinker was to wave huge wads of cash at him from behind the camera.
Brain bleach, indeed.
I haven't seen Megaforce in years. I do seem to recall I tortured Bitter with Solarbabies at one point. Or maybe that was someone else.
ReplyDeleteYou mean there won't be a RL Kim Possible movie? Dawwww.
ReplyDeleteThe real tragic thing is that neither movie got a porper MST 3K treatment.
ReplyDeleteThe first two, yeah, but that lambada one? That's fromunda cheese.
ReplyDelete'80s cheese? how about "flash gordon"? the best cheese evah! or "night of the comet"? "daddy would have gotten us uzis."!
ReplyDeleteFLASH! AHHHHHAH!
ReplyDeleteWait a minute . . .
ReplyDelete"The move is effectively banned for women as it was removed from the Code of Points following several serious accidents, most notably the paralysis of Elena Mukhina in 1980. It remains an allowed skill for men as of 2008."
Is there some physical difference making women more susceptible to damage?
Or perhaps they're just considered "more valuable"?
( I started out in snark mode, but now I think this should be a serious question. Given the quest for equality and alll . . .)
shovelDriver,
ReplyDelete"Is there some physical difference making women more susceptible to damage?
Or perhaps they're just considered "more valuable"?"
1) Perhaps the governing bodies for women's and men's floor routines differ?
B) Perhaps men are, pound-for-pound and on average, stronger in such a fashion such that they are less likely to injure themselves in this particular routine?
iii) Perhaps you need to stop looking for the feminazi conspiracy behind every (as it were) bush?
An addition to the 80's cheese sci fi fest: "Ice Pirates".
ReplyDeleteLast Dragon? How can you possibly hate a romantic comedy karate musical?
ReplyDeleteMegaForce!!!! Awesome....I remember bits and pieces of that movie, but nobody's been able to tell me the name of it (caught it on TV or something, never caught the title)...or was never willing to admit knowing. LOL
ReplyDeleteCheeseflick: "Neverending Story".
I don't care to watch scrawny 14-year-old girls cavort in public. I mind the time I was watching that cable sports channel, I forget its name, when it was showing FL State female gymnasts vs. some other gals. Now, those gals looked like healthy grownup women, and I got somewhat interested in looking at them, both for their skillz, and their looks.
ReplyDelete