Caffeine-free Tam is not a happy Tam. To make Tam a happy Tam, please insert caffeine.
— Tamara K. (@TamSlick) November 15, 2012
Forget the Tesla, I want a car that runs on hippie tears. When the low fuel light comes on, you have to pull over and punch one.Hippie tears as a fuel should make all the enviro types happy, too, because talk about your infinitely renewable resources...
— Tamara K. (@TamSlick) November 15, 2012
Truth and oblivion August 17 post.
ReplyDeletehttp://truthandoblivion.com/
So are you a coffee snob only willing to drink it prepared just so?
ReplyDeleteI've found there's many strata of coffee snobbery.
I'm a buy whole beans and grind just before brewing sort. No fancy brewer and grocery store grade beans.
There are enthusiasts out there with brew machines that cost many thousands and who roast their own beans from green.
Scott J,
ReplyDeleteMy tastes in coffee are pretty catholic. I can appreciate the good stuff (we use a Chemex and sometimes grind our own, here) but I can be plenty happy with a cup of Folger's out of the Mr. Coffee at the transmission shop, too.
What are your thoughts about caffeine from the machine buried in the back of the service station? You know, the one that has the junk around it arranged just so to allow enough room for your hand to fish out the paper cup when it's finished.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a connoisseur but even that seems a bit extreme to me. It will, however, pop your eyes so far open that you might not close them again. Ever.
I've been using a french press for a year now. It's so much easier than a regular coffee maker and clean up is simpler too.
ReplyDeleteTurn on electric kettle, grind beans, dump them and the water in, make breakfast, press coffee, done. The thing I can't do is have hot coffee ready all morning but usually one cup is fine anyway.
And wouldn't a better deal be a hybrid hippie tears car? The car comes installed with a hippie in the trunk. Once he is drained of tears you have to swap out the whole hippie, true, but you get a lot more miles between stops. In fact you can even keep a stable of hippies and switch them out according to your planned activities for the day.
Going shooting? Install your anti-2A hippie. Trip to the mall, use the commie hippie. The flexibility of this system is it's saving grace, yeah it's a pain switching out hippies, but with the slapping system there are places you just can't go. Ever try to find a hippie out in New Pal? With the Hippie-On-BOard system, or HOBO as we like to call it, you can plan ahead for those trips.
And in emergencies, like being in New Pal and you're fresh out of hippie, you can even install a racist and tell them you are marrying a black man.
Ever occur to anyone that the electric vehicles are so expensive that pretty much only the "1%" can afford them? The 1% being the very sort of person that the people pushing electric vehicles protest against.
ReplyDeleteHippie On BOard....bwa ha ha ha ha!
ReplyDeleteAnd...a caffeine free Me is a much less happy Me.
I liken coffee to transmission fluid for the brain-box...without it, the gears grind a bit, if one can be found at all, depending on how the sleep went.
Conservative bile would also seem to be a near-infinite resource...
ReplyDeleteI don't give a rats ass as long as it's hot and strong :-) Too many years of Navy coffee... And agree on the hippies, THEN at least they would be doing something productive!
ReplyDeletea little salt to take out the bitter...a little JP5 to add some flavor...
ReplyDeleteSorry, but while hippy tears may be environmentally friendly, the production of those tears is rife with pollution. Besides emitting large amounts of CO2, hippies also produce a lot of hot air, directly heating our atmosphere.
ReplyDeleteRE: Powered by hippie tears sounds like a South Park episode. I was quite fond of the Hippie Drill.
ReplyDeleteSo how would you fill the car up?
ReplyDeleteHold a hippies head over the gas tank and make them watch you club a baby seal?
+1 NFO
We drink coffee because we NEED it, not beacuse we like it.
Gerry
After years in the transportation industry, both as a tech and a driver, coffee needs a splash of 15-40 Rotella. Other than that, Hot and black.
ReplyDeleteYou would never run out of gas in Menlo Park where the "smart-money" 1%ers make/sell the Tesla to each other.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about hippie tears, it seems about as reliable as claims about shale oil and fracking gas.
ReplyDeleteBut there is work going on to generate power using pee from African girls.
http://www.nbcnews.com/technology/futureoftech/african-girls-pee-powered-generator-raises-questions-1C6956099
So, progress may be possible! Um, I don't know what the exchange rate is, or transport costs to get that urine here from Africa.
I like it! Although, thankfully, hippies are still in rather short supply around here.
ReplyDeleteAs you know, the EvylEmpyre is coffee snob central, but I get plenty desperate for any available caffeine delivery system. The other half will actually delay it until he can get something up to his standards. Which usually means I grunt and roll over and he makes the coffee. Hence missing your early morning tweets.
Not sure if hippy tears will work but I am more than happy to try. Not sure if I can make it past the patchouli stink though.
ReplyDeleteCU
Unable to get past the terrifying phrase "Caffeine-free Tam".
ReplyDeleteAny diesel will run just fine on heat depolymerized hippie.
ReplyDelete80 gallons per metric ton of dead hippie.
Soylent Diesel!
My 11yr old son and I have been having a discussion recently. He recently saw a M-4 selector switch labelled: safe, zombie and hippie. I argue hippie is full auto, and semi is zombie. He says he needs full auto for the zombies. What do you think?
ReplyDeleteI shudder at the use of Tesla's name attached to any electric vehicle that doesn't recharge itself from the ionosphere and/or solar flares, drive 400,000 miles before needing windshield washer fluid changed, and uses technology that is understood by more than 0.0000000000000001% of the human race. SHOW THE MAN SOME RESPECT!!!
ReplyDeleteTURKISH COFFEE MEDIUM SWEET THATS ALL!
ReplyDeleteHow does the mileage of hippy tears compare to unicorn farts?
ReplyDeleteSteve C said...
ReplyDelete"How does the mileage of hippy tears compare to unicorn farts?"
I haven't figured it out yet, but I do know they'll both get you nowhere, fast.
For coffee...Got 7-11? I recommend the "Brazilian Bold" personally.
ReplyDeleteAs for a vehicle that runs on hippie tears, I want the tactical tracked vehicle version...the one that gets the worst possible gas mileage so that I have a reason to refuel a lot.
Anonymous 6:44: With zombies only head shots count, and "covering fire" (sprayed around to persuade an enemy to keep their heads down) is pointless, so use semi-auto and fire one round at a time for better accuracy.
ReplyDeleteUse full-auto only for large clumps of hippies. It doesn't matter as much where you hit them. In fact, you can miss completely and they'll still be incapacitated by messed pants - assuming they weren't already incapacitated by drugs.