Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Things You Will Never Hear, #32,547

In light of the entertainment industry's spastic purge from the sports channels of responsible citizens engaged in responsible firearms usage, Robb Allen types up a fanciful press release that is clearly from an alternate universe.

If only...
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11 comments:

  1. Just heard that Quentin Tarantino has reformatted the premier of his new movie "Django Unchained" ... instead of red carpet and party, it'll only be private screening with no publicity ... said the PR statement

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  2. Maybe he can do a double feature with Natural Born Killers...

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  3. Yeah,and you'll also never hear that the video games producers won't show blood and guts, and bombs,machine guns,flame throwers and zombies.(for the children)
    Bill

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  4. Bill,

    ...and IDPA and USPSA will start using non-humanoid-shaped targets?

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  5. And parents will stop demanding that society babysit their children for them!

    "Censoring my child's media intake is hard. Do it for me!"

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  6. Rap artists will now remove all references to firarms and violence, include violence against women, from their song catalogs.

    This is our plan to combat the plague of mayhem in our cities, said Snoop Dog at his presser this morning.

    Asked what his next CD will sound like, Snoop stated it will be 40 minutes of humming and whistling.

    Not Really.

    Gerry

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  7. Tam @ 2:17
    Announced today-IDPA and USPSA will now begin using Nerf pistols,and won't shoot at targets at all,but only meet and greet,and go back home.
    Bill

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  8. Careful, there, Tam. We already have a version of ET with digitally disarmed cops.

    Remember when the joke around smoking bans was "if you want to *really* do something, you should go after Big Macs."

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  9. Yeah, not going to happen. And Hollywood will simply lay low for a little bit. And I figure Django won't be scrapped because apparently most of the people who get shot are white males.

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  10. If IDPA and USPSA started using purple Barney-the-dinosaur shaped targets, I bet the scores would go up.

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  11. All cooking shows should be canceled, so we can stop exposing people to knife use.

    It's for the childrens!!

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