Saturday, February 23, 2013

QotD: This Pizza Ain't Worth Your Life Edition

It appears that a couple of thugs in the Circle City made a serious mistake in the victim selection process, attempting to jack up a pizza delivery driver who promptly skinned his own smokewagon and aired out the young hoodlum brandishing the gun, causing young hoodlum's partner to drop the pizza and take to his heels.

While this is a heartwarming tale in its own right, the cherry on the icing of the cake of the whole thing is that it inspired my genius roomie to rewrite the lyrics to BÖC's "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" as "(Don't Steal) The Pizza":
Piiiizzzza time has come
With pepperoni please have some
But please don't steal the pizza
No the drinks or the car or the tip
(Just don't be like they are)
You should go and read the whole thing because it's awesome.

I hope that Roseholme Cottage is within their delivery radius... (EDIT: Whoah! Just checked the location. Hella glad that Roseholme Cottage is not in that delivery radius!)

14 comments:

  1. Good quote in the comments section. "There's more room in the ground that there is in jail."

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  2. And as usual I want a picture of the look on his face when they catch the second suspect and inform him of who is getting charged with murder! (hint, it ain't the pizza driver).

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  3. :) Glad you liked it! (Srsly, I would so totally buy the record, er- CD, er, mp3.)

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  4. I have two pizzas, one for each of ya.

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  5. An alternate with the lyrics "Please don't tip the pizzaboi"?

    ( sorry ... my history as a alt.pizza.tips troll is starting to emerge )

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  6. Good for the driver. I deliver pizza on the weekends and my boss is good with me carrying. Most of our delivery are is just plain folks that work hard. Of course we do have a couple of areas where it can be a little tense. So far no one has been robbed.

    A friend worked for pizza hut and 3 years ago defended himself against a armed robber. He was fired.

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    1. Which is why I will not patronize Pizza Hut ever again...

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  7. I bet there's a follow on story where the driver gets fired if he works for one of the major chains.

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  8. Umlaut intact! I'm half tempted to stick my copy of "on your feet..." in the post.

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  9. I love the comments that indicate that the criminals should be shown leniency for threatening lethal violence over a pizza, then disparage the people that say we are being too harsh on the criminals by not valuing their lives.

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  10. You'd think they'd learn. Pretty much anywhere that isn't New York, Chicago or LA, trying to jack a pizza delivery driver not from a major chain is essentially taking your life into your own hands.

    One guy I went to college with, his family, Greek immigrants, owned a pizza shop in West Philadelphia, and beyond the typical bounds of University City at that. It's a dangerous life, and those people know it, and take appropriate precautions. They also don't have the typical fear of lawsuits that large chains and big corporations have.

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  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  12. Chystoph:

    They have problems figuring out that the issue isn't the pizza, it's the criminal's decision to threaten the driver's life over that fucking pizza.

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