Books. Bikes. Boomsticks.
“I only regret that I have but one face to palm for my country.”
Thursday, February 14, 2013
While we're talking about bogus decorations...
What does the ribbon you get for making bitchin' PowerPoint
presentations above and beyond the call of duty look like? I'm thinking
about getting into reenacting and I don't want my late-period GWOT
persona to look all farby. .
I would bet more people have suffer death by Powerpoint than drone strikes.
If you think DOD is bad, sit through an FBI presentation.
Gerry
PS In olden times you could get a Bronze Star without a V for Valor. The Air Force started handing them out like candy so they stopped that award in the 90's
"In olden times you could get a Bronze Star without a V for Valor"
Still awarded - it's an MSM equivalent for folks in a combat zone. And you can get a "V" device on an ARCOM. Several of our Bluesuiters got Bronze Stars.
Tam, Depends upon what rank you wish to impersonate as you reenact. If you're the enlisted guy or gal that gets stuck building the slides, you'll get a (insert Service branch name)Achievement Medal. NCOs are usually smart enough to avoid this duty. Company grade officer building slides will get a (Service) Commendation Medal. And the field grade bubba who delivers the brief gets a Meritorius Service Medal for his efforts to impress. Texas rodent
I've never served (thank you to all that have)so my understanding of all things military is civy...but every time I hear a story like this Starship Troopers screams in my head that it isn't science fiction...it's prophecy.
Agreed Power Point Field Grade Officer Achievement medal is the Meritorious Service Medal if CONUS and if they are in the S shop deployed decent chance of the Bronze Star without the V.
It's all good. Do your thing, enjoy it, and retire. Don't worry about the correctness of uniform or coolness of the ribbons & medals. It's the work that counts, and you'll be among the best if you do it right.
Just don't forget that in a few years, Edward James Olmos will show up behind you at a side-street diner and spout off: "Lofaszt! Nehogy már! Te vagy a Pointer! Power Pointer!"
Whoever thought this one up had better hope he lives long enough to make up for it. 70 Virginians meeting a suicide bomber will be nothing compared to all the WW2 US Marines meeting the person who proposed something more than a good conduct medal or Stateside service medal for running a drone over Afghanistan or where ever from an air conditioned control room in Pensacola.
For valiantly pushing the RED button... For going 4 hrs non-stop with only Skittles and Mountain Dew to sustain him... For pushing recklessly forward when no surge protectors could be found...
It IS possible to earn an award, stateside, for service above and beyond, etc., etc. But they should even imply valor, unless they're given for life-saving. At one point, I was assigned to a unit that had a Presidential Unit Citation for the Battle of the Atlantic. They never left Virginia, but then, when you're an MI Geek...
The Powerpoint Achievement Medal is limited to only the most DEDICATED staff NCOs, For narcolepsy causation above and beyond the call of duty.
This is second only to whatever award they give for dragging the whole damned company out an hour prior to passing word that's either unnecessary or pointless.
I'm here to tell you, I made some pretty kick-ass power point presentations for Engineering Department and RL and M Div training, and I ended up with not just a Navy Achievment Metal, but a Gold Star in lue of 2nd Award.
Which is the same thing those folks opperating the drones should get...or maybe a Commendation Medal if they are JOs.
Isn't that one a line of stars that goes on your shoulder?
ReplyDeleteI'll let you know what they give me for that when I get home. ;-)
ReplyDelete"Isn't that one a line of stars that goes on your shoulder?"
ReplyDeleteAwesome!
I wanna be a chairborne Ranger.
ReplyDeleteMinesweeper is my only danger.
Powerpoint sets the tone.
While drink coffee on the phone.
Well, I'm sure that whatever else the design may have, it will have a gradient pattern for the background.
ReplyDeleteI would bet more people have suffer death by Powerpoint than drone strikes.
ReplyDeleteIf you think DOD is bad, sit through an FBI presentation.
Gerry
PS In olden times you could get a Bronze Star without a V for Valor. The Air Force started handing them out like candy so they stopped that award in the 90's
"In olden times you could get a Bronze Star without a V for Valor"
ReplyDeleteStill awarded - it's an MSM equivalent for folks in a combat zone. And you can get a "V" device on an ARCOM. Several of our Bluesuiters got Bronze Stars.
Tam, holler if you want a set of ACUs. :)
Tam,
ReplyDeleteDepends upon what rank you wish to impersonate as you reenact. If you're the enlisted guy or gal that gets stuck building the slides, you'll get a (insert Service branch name)Achievement Medal. NCOs are usually smart enough to avoid this duty. Company grade officer building slides will get a (Service) Commendation Medal. And the field grade bubba who delivers the brief gets a Meritorius Service Medal for his efforts to impress.
Texas rodent
I think they're running out of the visible spectrum. This ribbon will probably be octaroon.
ReplyDeleteI've never served (thank you to all that have)so my understanding of all things military is civy...but every time I hear a story like this Starship Troopers screams in my head that it isn't science fiction...it's prophecy.
ReplyDeleteThe Power Point Creed
ReplyDeleteAgreed Power Point Field Grade Officer Achievement medal is the Meritorious Service Medal if CONUS and if they are in the S shop deployed decent chance of the Bronze Star without the V.
ReplyDeleteIt's all good. Do your thing, enjoy it, and retire. Don't worry about the correctness of uniform or coolness of the ribbons & medals. It's the work that counts, and you'll be among the best if you do it right.
ReplyDeleteJust don't forget that in a few years, Edward James Olmos will show up behind you at a side-street diner and spout off: "Lofaszt! Nehogy már! Te vagy a Pointer! Power Pointer!"
Power Point Ranger tabs...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.omlpatches.com/tab-powerpoint-ranger/
Combat Briefing Badge...
http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/combat_briefing_badge_cbb/
Of course, the real purpose of that stupid velcro in the mandarin collar of the ACU is to covertly attach missing branch insignia.
DrBaboon
There are many PowerPoints but this one is mine!
ReplyDeleteThe Gettysburg powerpoint presentation: http://norvig.com/Gettysburg/
ReplyDeleteIf you are really good, you get a ring of stars on your shoulder!
ReplyDeleteWhoever thought this one up had better hope he lives long enough to make up for it. 70 Virginians meeting a suicide bomber will be nothing compared to all the WW2 US Marines meeting the person who proposed something more than a good conduct medal or Stateside service medal for running a drone over Afghanistan or where ever from an air conditioned control room in Pensacola.
ReplyDeleteFor valiantly pushing the RED button... For going 4 hrs non-stop with only Skittles and Mountain Dew to sustain him... For pushing recklessly forward when no surge protectors could be found...
ReplyDeleteFor suffering deprivations in combat...
ReplyDeleteYou know for that time he had to eat in the mess hall instead of going to the base's Burger King?
"It's just too far away to be able to order something AND eat it!"
It IS possible to earn an award, stateside, for service above and beyond, etc., etc. But they should even imply valor, unless they're given for life-saving.
ReplyDeleteAt one point, I was assigned to a unit that had a Presidential Unit Citation for the Battle of the Atlantic. They never left Virginia, but then, when you're an MI Geek...
The Powerpoint Achievement Medal is limited to only the most DEDICATED staff NCOs, For narcolepsy causation above and beyond the call of duty.
ReplyDeleteThis is second only to whatever award they give for dragging the whole damned company out an hour prior to passing word that's either unnecessary or pointless.
I'm here to tell you, I made some pretty kick-ass power point presentations for Engineering Department and RL and M Div training, and I ended up with not just a Navy Achievment Metal, but a Gold Star in lue of 2nd Award.
ReplyDeleteWhich is the same thing those folks opperating the drones should get...or maybe a Commendation Medal if they are JOs.