Monday, May 06, 2013

What gun for hippo?

Tell me this won't recalibrate your Bad-Day-O-Meter:
I remember looking up through 10 feet of water at the green and yellow light playing on the surface, and wondering which of us could hold his breath the longest. Blood rose from my body in clouds, and a sense of resignation overwhelmed me. I've no idea how long we stayed under – time passes very slowly when you're in a hippo's mouth.
Note to self: Avoid applying for jobs where "Hippo Mauling" is considered an occupational hazard.

I'd imagine that a p.o.'ed river horse would take a whole heap of killin'.

26 comments:

  1. There's a video showing two guys using Searcy doubles in 577 giving a medium sized hippo all four shots directly in the head before it came to rest a couple feet in front of them. I expect that changing drawers followed close behind.

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  2. Some PH has DVD's out where he requires clients to "take the charge". Pretty scary stuff.
    For flood-rescue ops in a "permissive environment" where crew-served weapons were verboten I bought a bunch of Brenneke slugs and was very happy not to have been given the "opportunity" to test out the theory...

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  3. I'll quit complaining about my day now.

    Thanks,

    Gerry

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  4. WOW, definitely NOT a job I'd be applying for either!

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  5. Seems like I remember reading somewhere that hippos kill more people than crocs in some parts of Africa. Whether or not that's true, Wiki says they are one of the most dangerous large animals in Africa.

    So...nothing smaller than a 20mm. :-)

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  6. Of non-carnivores, hippo are still the #1 people-killers on that continent last I heard.

    Capstick(among others) wrote about various go-rounds with them; big, fast, territorial, aggressive and well-armed.

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  7. Something with the words "Nitro Express" stamped on the barrel. Or maybe a Marlin .444 lever action.

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  8. RE: "Nitro Express" and "458 Magnum".....number of years back had a conversation with An Old African Hand, RE: hippos. I got the distinct impression anything less than a 40MM penetrator with an explosive warhead was just foreplay.

    One thing that was mentioned was that while they're pure death in the water, not many people understand just how fast they can move in the shallows and on dry land, and that once enraged your demise is the only thing that will appease them.

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  9. Col. Jeff Cooper wrote about the hippo in his January 1996 Commentary:

    "One of the things that we look forward to in the New Year is the chance to confront an angry bull hippo on dry land. Arrangements have been made.

    The question will arise as to why the hunter should choose a hippo, especially since over the great hunting days of Africa this beast was never considered to be a game animal. He does, however, offer some interesting possibilities. Shooting him in the water is not exciting. While he has been known to attack and destroy a boat, he usually simply sinks and dies under water. On the other hand, if you can insert yourself between a night-grazing hippo and his river, he may afford you as much excitement as you desire - perhaps more. His bulk is enormous and the problem of proper bullet placement is daunting. In his rush for water he is all but unstoppable, and his bite can easily cut a man in two. (We know of two outfitters who will not undertake this operation, believing it to be too dangerous.)

    If and when you get your hippo down, various positive features appear. His hide is supposed to make the best leather in the world. His meat is highly prized by the local people, and his rendered fat is considered to be a sovereign remedy for everything from malaria to sprained ankles. His ivory is distinctly superior to that of the elephant for the manufacture of jewelry and accessories, being denser and finer in grain.

    Among other things, this adventure will give us one more excuse to take Baby afield. We will use 500-grain solids, and when the opportunity presents itself we will shoot with extreme care."

    http://myweb.cebridge.net/mkeithr/Jeff/jeff4_1.html

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  10. Um, yeah. I'll be avoiding those since I don't own a Bofors auto cannon.

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  11. Let's let Joe Biden go hunt one with his 12 gauge.

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  12. I LOL'd at the end of the story, at the part about the screaming.

    wv: same RageTme

    As in "same rageTme, same rageChnnel"

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  13. Peter Capstick wrote about hippos. My memory was that .375H&H was considered the light caliber.

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  14. My PH and the camp staff were much, much more concerned about Hippo than anything else. Made refilling the water barrels very much an Armed Drill, complete with rehearsals and chamber checking (loading) prior to execution.

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  15. Note to self: if invited to kayak the Zambezi, find a good old M26 to carry in case I'm ingested... "from Hell's heart" and all that.

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  16. I read Capstick at an impressionable age. Still miss the man something awful.

    I've been reading and rereading "Horn of the Hunter" a lot recently. I miss Ruark too.

    I recently found a used copy of Pondoro's book and am looking forward to diving into that.

    All this is to say that "professional hunter" sounds like an excellent career change to me. At least it would if I wasn't pushing up on 50...

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  17. The right gun for a hippo is a tank.

    But seriously...

    If I knew ahead of time I would need to shoot a hippo on a safari that didn't include hippo shooting on the itinerary, I'd book a different safari. If I was already stuck, I'd opt for a Lahti.

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  18. was reading Gavin Menzies (1421: The Year China Discovered America) and his tale of being a submarine officer in the 60's and making a port call in Africa for some R&R. the jolly fellows from the boat leased some small river boats, and loaded up with picnics and scotch, went adventuring. they saw some hippos and decided that shooting one would be great sport and then got the pleasure of watching .303 bullets bounce off the hides of the annoyed critters. one of them then up ended one of the boats and our heros were glad that the river horses seemed content with that.

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  19. I hear depth charges in the shape of hippo candy work wonders. They come in a variety of colors and, with the attached chain, double as a retrieval device. For an extra charge (money, not hippo) you can get the chain with a handy hitch that affixes to any trailer ball.

    Brad Ervin

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  20. AAV/ Mk 19.

    Which isn't too far from unpossible, as the only way I'm ever going there is by Uncle Sam's bidding.

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  21. Yeah, I'll hunt hippos while hiding behind Vanessa Dobos on her AC-130's GAU-2/A minigun.

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  22. I wouldn't feel undergunned with Wally's 57mm recoilless...

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  23. As noted the "expedition" was at Uncle's bidding and crew-served were NOT allowed. Even had my trusty ol M79 been available I'm pretty sure a hippo could likely close the distance before the grenade armed.
    Still, 870's are far more comforting than M16's as far as "individual" weapons available...

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  24. "Let's let Joe Biden go hunt one with his 12 gauge."

    I'll contribute to that fund.

    "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
    Only a hippopotamus will do
    No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
    I only like hippopotamuses
    And hippopotamuses like me too."

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  25. Capstick made shit up.

    But I'd surely want a lot of gun to stop a hippo. Best I've got right now is 12 GA or .35 Whelen.

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