Did my annual chicken-tending stint at Castle Frostbite. The ladies of Cluckheim Keep have an egg output more than sufficient for a family of four, and simply overwhelming for a lone house-sitter.
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Tuesday, July 08, 2014
If I never eat another hard-boiled egg again...
...it will be too soon.
Did my annual chicken-tending stint at Castle Frostbite. The ladies of Cluckheim Keep have an egg output more than sufficient for a family of four, and simply overwhelming for a lone house-sitter.
On the surface, chickens are pretty ordinary animals. Amusing, none too brave or bright, and tasty when battered and fried...
...but if one looks hard at a group of them tearing into a lobster dinner, it's not hard to imagine what it would be like if they stood ten feet tall. (Pack-hunting omnivorous flightless birds tearing into giant armored sea bugs. It sounds like something out of a D&D game.)
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Did my annual chicken-tending stint at Castle Frostbite. The ladies of Cluckheim Keep have an egg output more than sufficient for a family of four, and simply overwhelming for a lone house-sitter.
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I have 5 dozen eggs...I may have miscalculated when selecting my chicken breed and number....
ReplyDeleteTheir, um, "mating" activity is what grosses me out about chickens.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you would liken these to something from a D&D game just makes my inner-nerd smile.
ReplyDeleteLobster flavored chicken? mmmm-MMM! Would you dip those in butter first or is BBQ sauce OK?
ReplyDeleteChickens will eat damn near anything. Ten-footers? Hie thee off and retrieve my fowling piece and buckshot, fast!
ReplyDeleteGood lead in to a short story? Growth hormones run amok to frighten the climate change artists.
ReplyDeleteUtahRaptors *shouldn't* be any less terrifying when I imagine them with beaks and feathers instead of scales and teeth, but somehow they are...
ReplyDeleteI vaguely recall a Ray Stevens song about Teenaged Mutant Kung Fu Chickens. If I wasn't on dial up I'd go lookin' for a link.
ReplyDeleteI refuse to eat free-range chicken or eggs. I grew up around chickens, and I know what those things eat.
ReplyDeleteThey're scavengers. I have, in the past, seen half a dozen hens fighting over a half-rotted snake carcass.
I'll take my chicken products factory raised, thanks.
Lobsters are after all the cockroach of the sea.
ReplyDeleteAnd mm,mmm good!
Jack LaLanne said when he was a kid on the farm, when a sheep would die they'd throw it in the chicken pen(lots of chickens); by end of the day there'd be bones and wool left.
ReplyDeleteAnd only yesterday the Big Chicken in GA was referenced in a friendly way.
ReplyDelete10 foot chickens?
ReplyDeleteJurassic Cluck? - "clever girl"
gfa
I've become spoiled on farm-raised chicken and eggs. Yes, chickens are disgusting creatures that will eat pretty much anything that would make a vulture heave, but grain fed doesn't hold a candle to the taste of a chicken that had to do a few laps around the yard to catch dinner.
ReplyDeleteBefore I finish my PhD I am going to write a paper on terror birds. They are so awesome. They're like a hipster's dinosaur. Mesozoic dinosaurs are so passé, terror birds are for the discriminating Cenozoic paleontologist.
ReplyDeleteAlso, they have the most AWESOME skulls ever. Seriously, it's like a toucan was raised in a steroid factory and spent its life beating every other animal to death with its GIANT beak.
-Rob
I once watched my chickens chase down and tear apart a live mouse that got into the chicken shed. Not too far away from velociraptors...
ReplyDeleteWhere is the like button for this post? :)
ReplyDeleteChicken Kaiju. Sounds like a new recipe to me...
ReplyDeleteFOR YOUR READING PLEASURE GET A COPY OF "THE GREAT HOBOKEN CHICKEN
EMERGENCY" BY D. MANUS PINKWATER THE NOTED AUTHOR OF CHILDREN'S STORIES (CHILDREN OF ALL AGES) IT
INVOLVES A MAD SCIENTIST A GIANT CHICKEN MISGUIDED FOLK OF THE MUNICIPALITY OF HOBOKEN A KID WHO IS FRIENDS WITH THE CHICKEN AND WHO SAVES THE DAY NICE STORY ENJOY !
ALSO CAN RECOMMEND"THE EDUCATION OF ROBERT NIFKIN" "UNCLE BORIS IN THE YUKON" OTHERS
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So then, if you cut off a terror bird's head with your +1 vorpal sword, does the remaining 8 or 9 feet continue to run around your back yard for a week?
ReplyDeleteWould a giant chicken cross the road?
ReplyDeleteGerry
Flightless? No. Unless their wings have been clipped, regular chickens like that can fly fairly well. -- Lyle
ReplyDeleteCongrats on GTFO of Indy and Broad Ripple in particular at the most opportune time. Seems that the good folks from 30what and what have worked their way east.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.indystar.com/story/news/crime/2014/07/05/people-shot-broad-ripple/12242111/
Yrro - think less 'no teeth' and more 'axe blade attached to head'.
ReplyDeleteBecause it damn well wanted to, Gerry.
ReplyDeleteGuy I used to work with had a small flock, partly for eggs and partly to keep bugs down around the home. Had one old hen who specialized in mice; would grab it- usually by the tail- and swat on the ground once left, once right, then eat it.
That thing, ten feet tall...
The right gun for 10ft chickens... Is mounted on a LAV in a turret and has the word "auto" and "cannon" in it's specs
ReplyDeleteLobster?!? His chickens eat better than I do!
ReplyDelete