If schadenfreude had calories, I'd weigh 500 lbs.

• "...that odious choad of a prima donna Lauer..."


• "I have a serious loathing for Matt, in case you can't tell. He's practically a caricature of the egotistical monster of a TV celeb... Compared to him, Robert Patrick's character in T2 was a paragon of empathic humanity."


• "...his shallow vacuity and clinical narcissism shine through even on the small screen."


• "...the most entertaining thing I'll likely see on my TV this morning, unless Matt Lauer catches fire or something."


• "Matt Lauer is on my television screen, warbling and emoting..." 


• "Mike Bloomberg gave Matt Lauer the tour. I assume the NBC cameraman had to use a special wide-angle lens to get both of their egos in the frame at once." 


• "So there was consummate Manhattanite Matt Lauer, hectoring teary Paula Deen on stage. You could see the mixture of contempt and glee on his face: Contempt for this Southern hick who had actually admitted to saying *gasp!* the "n-word" in the past and glee that here was someone he was so obviously Better Than."


• "Matt Lauer is interviewing Bill O'Reilly. That much egotistical douchebaggery is hard to appreciate on the small screen; it deserves Imax."