This is what we prepare for!

Forget exotic viruses in faraway lands, what about viruses infesting monkeys close to home? Specifically, what about a strain of herpes that is fatal to humans, infesting troops of monkeys howling unchecked through the jungles of Florida?

A roving band of feral, herpes-ridden monkeys is now roaming across northeast Florida.

The STD-addled rhesus macaques had previously been confined to Silver Springs State Park near Ocala, Florida, but are now being spotted miles away in Jacksonville, St. Johns, St. Augustine, Palatka, Welaka and Elkton, Florida according to a local ABC affiliate, First Coast News.

Even more worrying: over a quarter of the 300 feral macaques — an invasive species native to south and southeast Asia — carry herpes B, according to a 2018 survey, National Geographic reported.

"What do you need an AR-15 for?" people ask, but then watch what happens when a troop of face-eating herpes monkeys comes hooting out of the trees, headed right for them. I'll bet they'll wish they had an AR-15 then!

Also, you know that New York Post reporter thought he'd died and gone to heaven when he got to write this headline:

Roving band of herpes-ridden monkeys now roaming northeast Florida