I had to dog-ear the page with this quote last night:
I'll start with the cheerful news. I've stuck to my Passive Suicide Diet and am thinking of writing a cookbook called This Will Kill You. Here's a sample menu. B: two fried eggs with scrapple; L: chili over rice; D: three martinis, ham steak, creamed corn, and cheese rolls. My object is an obit containing words like "suddenly" and "massive." Before you start chiding me, ask yourselves this: Can you see me in a nursing home, playing bingo, watching soap operas, and being called "honey" by the arts 'n' crafts lady?
So few of us are lucky enough to find true role models in life. I feel blessed.
I can't believe you did that?! Gives me goose bumps just thinking about it. You dog-eared a page?? Have you no respect?? Have you no 3m page markers??
ReplyDeletebrrrrr
"Can you see me in a nursing home, playing bingo, watching soap operas, and being called "honey" by the arts 'n' crafts lady?"
ReplyDeleteThat's funny. I take care of myself so I don't end up in a nursing home. Just because you abuse your body doesn't mean the heart attack or stroke is going to be massive or sudden. It might just be enough that you can't live on your own anymore. Then, the only alternative is the nursing home or a bullet.
I do have a fondness for scrapple and eggs, but I limit my intake so I can enjoy it into my 80s and hopefully 90s. :)
Chris
Dogears... heh.
ReplyDeleteI haven't dogeared a page in anything in years; particularly since I figured out that my personal library keeps soft, oversized bookmarks handy on a roll.
"Oh, Tam, now you've gone and done it. Don't you know eating that way is bad for you! Can you imagine the cost to society of your decision to eat like that? I tell you, it's indefensible and...and...and...it's just not rational!"
ReplyDelete(burrrrp)
I love breaking it to the folks who think they are getting out of this whole thing alive, but we all are going sometime and I am NOT going to let the food police take away my high-cholesterol diet, simply because they think it best for me.
ReplyDeleteI have no familial history of heart disease despite everyone in my family being bacon-and-egg eaters. I can probably eat steak every day for the rest of my life and not have to worry about it. That's me. Others may not be so lucky and may need a rabbit-food diet to keep their liver happy, but them's the breaks.
Can't wait for the next Al Gore to get a hold on this issue and start gagging everyone with the next great miracle drug because, ya know, we are all too dumb to know any better.
At the words "suddenly" and "massive", my screen was bombarded with salad bits. Thanks for the guffaw. Flo rocks.
ReplyDeleteWe love you want you live long time! No smokie smokie, mmm-k?
ReplyDelete/smart assitude
Stet, Damnit! is on my list, but it appears that I need to move it up a bit higher. I loved her article on Clarence Thomas, but haven't yet cracked open one of her full-body tomes as of yet. Thanks for the idea!
I'd prefer the eggs with bacon, and chicken livers fried in the bacon fat, but the idea is sound.
ReplyDeleteMmmm, bacon.
I always had a soft spot for brains an eggs myself.
ReplyDeleteYour book, dogear the hell out of it!!
Tokarev
I'm sure Tam knows her limits when it comes to the calories and cholesterol. We've seen the bikini pics, and the pics where she's lamented her size. She's a big girl, and can figure out when she gets to eat rabbit food vs. steak & eggs.
ReplyDeleteI had a friend who porked out, developed heart disease and wound up with angioplasty and a couple stents installed. The doc told him to lay off the high-calory intake and get active. The old boy told him to piss up a rope, he was gonna die some day regardless, and if the big one got him while downing a 16-ounce prime rib, he would go with a greasy smile on his face.
That's pretty much what happened later. C'est la vie.