Thursday, April 26, 2007

You can't make this stuff up.

So Kenneth Hinson has been acquitted of the charge of kidnapping and raping two 17 year olds and leaving them to suffocate in his underground sex dungeon behind his, um, "modular home". See, he pointed out to police that it wasn't really an underground sex dungeon, just sort of a hidden crawlspace where he stored the bales of marijuana he sold. And he didn't rape them, okay? Because it was all consensual, and they made the whole story up so that he wouldn't come after them after they boosted some of his dope after their little bondage soiree. And just because he'd been convicted of raping a twelve year old girl before didn't make him guilty of this current crime.

I am not making this up.

Given the facts as stated above, I'd like Pat Robertson to explain to me why God hasn't leveled Darlington County, SC with fire and brimstone, collateral damage or no, just to be sure.

PS: While a primered '77 Camaro is nowhere mentioned, you can be sure that one is at least peripherally involved in the story.

18 comments:

  1. He won't last long. Either he's going to go missing, or he's going to have an untimely accident.

    Even if every word he breathes is God's honest truth. . .
    a 48 year old man, who
    has sex with 17 year old girls,
    in the tiny dank basement room
    (to his trailer house, thank you very much),
    after luring them there with his dope stash,
    then somehow can't account for how they went missing for 6 days,
    --all of which occurs 15 years after
    he was convicted of raping a 12 year old girl?

    The grass will grow greener with him below it than with him casting a shadow over it.

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  2. I dunno...this kind of goes beyond Camaro into El Camino/Ranchero country, doesn't it?

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  3. Somehow, I hope he suffers for 6 long days and nights before he has to explain to a Higher power, if there is one, just why he did what he did. I also hope whatever ADA screwed the pooch on this case is out poundin' the pavement lookin for a new job.

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  4. Aunt B. went on about this too.

    based on the guy's depiction in the press, he's shady. but i've heard nary a mention about the two girls. young girls trading sex for drugs/booze isn't unheard of.

    obviously, there wasn't enough to convince a jury. so something is missing here.

    just sayin'

    -SayUncle

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  5. If he's telling the truth, the area's in even worse need of a holy airstrike.

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  6. "PS: While a primered '77 Camaro is nowhere mentioned, you can be sure that one is at least peripherally involved in the story."

    With a rag for a gas cap.

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  7. AD, you forgot to mention the amateur bondo work on one quarterpanel and door, plus the airscoop screwed to the hood. The 3 mag wheels goes without saying.

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  8. I dunno...this kind of goes beyond Camaro into El Camino/Ranchero country, doesn't it?

    Hey hey hey...I had an El Camino and I never raped anyone in my sooper-sekrit dope cave.

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  9. "Hey hey hey...I had an El Camino and I never raped anyone in my sooper-sekrit dope cave."

    Hell Ahab, with a chick wagon like an El Camino, you probably never had to. ;)

    Did you have some white denim pants and Dingo boots to complete the ensemble?

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  10. Well, it does sound like the prosecution had/made a crappy case, because the jury was not convinced.

    That being said he does soound like the kind of citizen that, where he to suddenly go missing, would not exactly bestire the local constabulary force to be terribly concerned.

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  11. Something about these posts just screams Doraville or Chamblee to me....

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  12. The man is a sexual offender. Why libel Cameros? Or Rancheros even?

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  13. As a former Camaro owner, I figured it out several blog postings ago. Tam's got this thing against Camaros or other GM F-body cars - that's why. It isn't the first time she's used the stereotype, and I doubt it'll be the last. (Note to self: Compare Beemer drivers to criminals on a different blogsite)

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  14. Gewehr, Tam notably HAD one of those, so there's that weird self-hate thing coming on (neoNietz, jump right in here)...

    I am just about as hurt as a 66 ElCamino owner is allowed to be (sniff). As the Oz station owner said when the Rolls Silver Cloud came out, "Where do you put your bloody dead sheep?"

    Now admittedly, this does not seem like a nice man; however, to be fair, What war on drugs? War on Which drugs? If the cops had shot him, would we be on his side? And, I'm guessing he didn't go to Duke?

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  15. Hell, I figured it was a running joke on how many chicks lost their virginity in a Camaro.

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  16. Because He is a merciful God, and sometimes delays punishment so that we will turn to Him.

    Doesn't mean you can't whack the perv yourself, of course.

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  17. He was charged with raping the girls. Girls who, in that state, are of the age of consent.

    He claims that they gave consent.

    Due to the fact that there was a lengthy time between the alleged rape and the report, their report is questioned.

    They can't bring up at the guilt trial his past history, so the jury has no knowledge of his past conviction.

    The basement room is a dandy place to store weed (which he wasn't being charged with).

    And I'm sure that he brought forth witness that impuned the alleged victims, and who said that they liked to trade favors for dope.

    He said she said cases can be hard to make.

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  18. If he's lying, God needs to smite his trailer.

    If he's telling the truth, God needs to smite his trailer, and the whole rest of the park.

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